Gemswap Universe
by Vanilla Owns Chocolate
Summary: Join Steven Lazuli Universe and the rest of the Crystal Gems as they embark on many adventures to save the day! Together with Bismuth, Zircon, and Imperial Garnet, the Earth will always be safe! (AU where a bunch of Gems are swapped with one another)
1. Gem Glow

It was a beautiful day in Beach City, as per usual.

The sun was already high in the air, casting its rays over the small town. The air was warm and almost suffocating to some, but that didn't stop Steven Universe from making one of his routine trips to the Big Donut.

He was running excitedly past some of the citizens, whom he waved to as he went by, determined to get to his destination. He broke into a large grin when he saw the it in the distance, picking up the pace. Before long, he had already thrown open the doors, proudly standing in the doorway.

"Helloooo, Big Donut!" he exclaimed. "Steven Universe has arrived!" Then, suddenly feeling the weight of fatigue catch up to him from her long run, he promptly stopped for a moment to catch his breath.

Sadie chuckled lightly from behind the counter. "Well, that was quite an entrance." she said, glancing over at her coworker, who was restocking nearby. "What do you think, Lars?"

Lars, who was in the middle of restocking, had apparently been startled by Steven's sudden appearance and had dropped some of the drinks he had been putting in the freezer. He hurriedly tried to pick them up, waving in Steven's general direction. "Uh, yeah! That was...some entrance." Sadie snickered sympathetically and gave Steven a polite smile.

"Don't mind him. What can I get for you today, Steven?"

Steven finally straightened up and pointed at Sadie with both index fingers. "You and I both know what I'm looking for, Sadie!" he replied, walking further into the shop. "Only the world's most amazing treat: the sweet, delicious, incredible Cookie Cat!" He ran up to the mini-fridge that contained the desserts excitedly, causing Sadie to frown.

"Oh, I'm sorry, Steven..." said the blond from her post. "We're all out of Cookie Cats today."

"Whaaat? Aww, man..." Steven sighed in disappointment. "That's the third day in a row...when will you guys be getting more of them, anyway?"

"Uh, well-"

"We won't. We got our final shipment two weeks ago, and since you're the only one that buys them, they're pretty much gone forever now. We're not supposed to get any more." Lars interrupted, casually lifting a box off of the counter. "Sorry. Wish we could've warned ya beforehand if we knew."

Steven whirled his head around in panic. "Wait, what?! No, there's no way!"

"Lars!" Sadie chastised.

"What? I mean, he was gonna find out eventually! Better we tell him ourselves so that he doesn't freak out when he can't find 'em anywhere."

Steven was still standing in complete shock, eyes darting towards the fridge and back again as he realized the gravity of the situation. "No..." he said sadly, clenching his fists in despair. "Noooooooo!" Dramatically, he clung to Lars' legs in distress. "Say it ain't so! Please, this has to be a dream!"

Lars shrieked at the sudden contact, struggling to pull his legs free of Steven's surprisingly strong grip. "H-hey! Steven, I have to stock!" he protested nervously, wriggling out and barely managing to keep the box from falling out of his grip. Sniffling, Steven weakly allowed him to go, flopping over the counter sadly. Sadie gave him a grimace.

"Sorry, Steven. I guess they just stopped making them."

"Stopped making them?!" the younger boy cried. "B-but that doesn't make any sense! Why would they stop making Cookie Cats?! They're only the most delicious, delectable, scrumptious ice cream sandwiches in the world! Don't they have _laws_ for this?!"

Lars sighed as he began stocking some more shelves. "Tough bits, man. Nobody buys them anymore. I guess they just couldn't compete with Lion Lickers." he said wistfully, gesturing over to another mini fridge nearby that was full of the aforementioned lion-shaped treats. Steven groaned.

"But nobody likes Lion Lickers! They don't even look like lions! The gumball eyes are always lopsided and they get all melty before you even take 'em out of the freezer!" He glared at the ice cream with childish resentment in her eyes. Lars couldn't help but smile at the accurate description.

"Well, some people are just dumb enough to buy them. But, hey, you have that magic gem on your back, right? Can't you just...make more Cookie Cats appear or something?" he asked, tilting his head curiously.

"That's not how it works, Lars..." Steven replied, reaching behind himself. He stuck a chubby arm down the back of his blue tank top, feeling the cerulean, teardrop-shaped gem that rested there. "At least, I don't think so...? But that would be cool." He pulled his arm back, briefly staring at the spot where he touched his gem before sighing. He approached the empty Cookie Cat freezer and began drawing one on the moist glass with his finger. "Oh, Cookie Cat...with your crunchy cookie outsides and your icy creamy insides..." He kissed his drawing sadly and gave the fridge a tender hug. Sadie raised her eyebrows.

"Um...Steven?" she asked. "Do you maybe...wanna take the freezer with you?"

Glancing back and forth between it and Sadie, he conceded with a sad nod.

* * *

Steven hummed to himself as he ran back home, though his movements were somewhat slowed by the freezer tied to his back by wire. This didn't deter him, however, as he was beginning to approach the beach house where he resided. Despite the weight on his back, he picked up the pace, climbing up the stairs to the porch and opening the door.

"Hey, guys!" he cried as he flung it open. "You won't believe thi- AAHH!" He let out a scream as he was quickly attacked by a large, ferocious, bug-like monster. It growled at him, acid dripping from its gaping maw, and he hurriedly tried to shove it off.

Suddenly, a large, multicolored chain wrapped around the monster's middle, yanking it away from him. Steven looked towards the direction of the weapon, and saw a tall, purple Gem with rainbow-colored dreadlocks smiling at him.

"Heya, short stuff! Sorry you had to walk into all of this." Smirking, Bismuth yanked the chain back, dragging the monster along with it. She changed her hand into the shape of a hammer, bashing the creature on the head so hard that it poofed out of existence.

In the back of the room, near the Warp Pad, a blue Gem with hair that curved downwards was knocking away even more approaching monsters with a cane. Zircon hit every mark accurately, moving like a tap dancer as she calculated each move with lightning speed.

Finally, across the room, a magenta Gem with a fluffy pink afro and a small yellow tutu was also fighting off bug monsters. She had big round sunglasses that covered two of her eyes, but one of them was still visible on her forehead. Out of all the other Gems in the room, Imperial Garnet appeared to be the most surrounded by the creatures, but this didn't seem to faze her. She smiled and skipped around, crushing any monsters underfoot with her spiked cleats. She paused to stretch, unknowingly punching a monster in the face as it tried to lunge at her from behind.

"Whoa...AWESOME!" Steven shouted, watching one try to crawl away. "What are these things?"

"Wait, Steven's home?!" Zircon shrieked, batting away another bug creature. "Oh, dear, be careful! Don't worry, we'll get these nasty Centipeetles out of here! They're trying to get into the temple!" She jerked her head towards the large door behind the Warp Pad with markings for each resident's gems.

"Aww, are you sure? They're really cool!" the boy objected, approaching the blue Gem as she held a Centipeetle in her arms. Snarling, the creature spat acid onto the floor, burning a hole into the wood.

Bismuth punched another one, sending it flying into a wall and disintegrating. She looked over the spot where it once was and called back to the others. "Hey, these things don't have gems!"

Imperial gasped. "Wait, really?" she looked at one of them briefly before crushing it again. "Wow, you're right! What a mystery!"

Zircon groaned. "Great. That means there's a mother somewhere nearby...we should find it before someone gets hurt!"

Steven's eyes sparkled excitedly. "Oh! Can I come, can I come? Pleasepleasepleeeasse?"

Zircon panicked, still somehow managing to keep a tight grip on the Centipeetle in her arms. "Oh, nonono! It's way too dangerous! Right now, you need to focus on trying to master your powers before trying to go on any crazy missions. Let us defend humanity for now, okay?" She grunted slightly before managing to snap the Centipeetle's neck, causing it to once again disappear into thin air. Steven sighed.

"Aw, maaan...I don't even know if I have powers! That's not fa- HEY!" He darted his head towards the refrigerator, where another Centipeetle was poking its head inside. "SHOO! Get out of here!" He charged towards the monster, waving his hands to scare it off. However, before he could, Imperial leaned over, accidentally stepping on the creature in the process.

"What? Is there another one over here?" she asked, not noticing at all when the monster evaporated under her foot. She looked around, seeing that there were none left, and smiled. "Hey, everyone! We cleared them all out!"

Bismuth and Zircon casually approached the counter. "Yeah, we know, Imperial. Great job back there, both of you!" the multicolored Gem said, giving two thumbs up to her teammates. She smiled over at Steven, winking. "Hey, weren't you looking in the fridge earlier?"

Steven cocked his head in confusion. "Yeah, why?" He turned around to look back at the still-open freezer, but gasped in shock upon seeing its contents. Inside, stacked upon one another, were countless Cookie Cats. "Whaaaat?! No way! How did you get all of these?! I thought they stopped making them!"

Zircon gave him a warm grin. "Well, yes, they did. But since we knew they were your favorite-"

"We went out and stole 'em from some greedy old punk who wanted 'em all for himself!" Bismuth said dramatically, miming punches. Zircon cleared her throat, annoyed.

"We _bought_ the last of them from the Big Donut. They wanted it to be a surprise when you got home."

"I know _I_ was surprised!" Imperial chimed in, her cleats disappearing. "I completely forgot those were in there!"

Bismuth laughed heartily, patting the magenta Gem on the shoulder. "Haha! It's okay, Imp! I'm pretty sure we all did after the Centipeetles broke in!"

Zircon adjusted her monocle. "Well, what really matters is that Steven is happy. Right, Steven?"

Steven didn't reply. He was gazing at a sole Cookie Cat that he was now holding, his eyes shining. He felt so happy, he could sing. In fact, that was just what he did.

" _Ohhhhh..._

 _He's a frozen treat with an all-new taste,_

 _'Cause he came to this planet from outer space!_

 _A refugee of an interstellar war,_

 _And now he's at your local grocery store!_

 _COOKIE CAT!_

 _He's a pet for your tummy!_

 _COOKIE CAT!_

 _He's super duper yummy!_

 _COOKIE CAT!_

 _He left his family behind!_

 _Cookie Caaaaat!_

"Now available at Gurgens off Route 109!" he finished, hugging the ice cream sandwich close to him. The rest of the Gems all laughed and clapped, complimenting him on his performance. Steven looked at all of them with deep appreciation. "I can't believe you guys actually did this! I'm gonna savor this moment forever...Riiiight after I eat this one." Eagerly, he undid the wrapper and took a bite of one of the rounded "ears" of the cat-shaped treat. "Mmmm...so good! I like to eat the ears first!"

All of a sudden, the Gems went quiet, staring at him in awe. Bismuth and Zircon went behind the counter with Imperial, gazing at Steven from behind.

"Whoa! Uh, Steven?!" Bismuth cried, eyes widening. Zircon gasped and began to babble incoherently out of sheer bewilderment.

"Hm? What's wrong?" the boy asked, turning his head in their direction.

"S-steven...don't move. I know this might sound crazy, but-"

"Oh my stars!" Imperial interrupted, pushing the other two Gems aside to get a better look. "Steven, I think your gem is glowing!"

"WHAT? Uh...what do I do?!" He resisted the urge to reach his hands around and grab at his gem, fearing that that might make it worse.

"Can you summon a weapon, little guy?" Bismuth asked gently.

"Uh, um, I don't know! Is it fading? How do I get it to keep glowing?"

"C-c-calm down, Steven! It's okay, don't panic! DON'T PANIC!" Zircon panicked, shaking Imperial roughly.

"Okay!" the taller Gem replied, nodding her confirmation. Unfortunately, just after she did so, the glow from Steven's gem started to diminish, before finally ceasing altogether.

"Aww...I was really close that time!" he pouted, lowering the Cookie Cat sadly. "Man...do any of you guys know how to summon a weapon?"

Zircon panted, trying desperately to catch her breath before raising her hand weakly. "I think...I...can show you..."

* * *

Steven looked up at the tree that Zircon had taken him to, puzzled. As far as he could tell, it was just an ordinary tree; There was nothing particularly special about it.

"I don't understand, Zircon. How is this tree supposed to help me summon my weapon?"

"Not the tree, Steven. Look!" the Gem said, pointing towards one of the branches. On it perched a bird's nest full of chicks, the mother gently flittering down to greet them. They chirped happily upon seeing their parent, their song discordant and yet still full of harmony. "Observe how the mother bird knows exactly what her children want. She has brought worms for them; The exact number of worms as the exact number of her chicks. See how such a simple creature is able to keep track of and calculate precisely when to leave for food and just how much of it she should bring back?"

Steven watched the birds closely. The mother (much to his slight disgust) regurgitated each worm into her babies' beaks, not missing a single one. His attention turned back to Zircon, who had produced the cane from her gemstone with a flourish.

"Once you teach yourself to focus on every aspect of every day, it will become routine to you. Then, and only then, will you know exactly the right time to summon your weapon." She smiled confidently, leaning on her weapon as she did so. "Do you understand, Steven?"

A green leaf fluttered down from the tree, and Steven outstretched his hand to get it. He looked at it for a while, then back to the birds, before finally turning his attention back to the Gem in front of him.

"Uh...no, not really. Sorry."

* * *

"Hey, Bismuth! Can you do me a favor?" Steven asked, waving at the muscular Gem who was eating out of a large box of donuts. She beamed at him happily.

"Why, of course I can, sweetheart! What do you need?" she asked, bending down in an attempt to be eye-level with him.

Steven pointed at the donuts she was holding. "Can you regurgitate those into my mouth?"

Bismuth looked startled for a moment, but once she regained her bearings, she burst into laughter. "What? Why would you want me to do _that?_ " She snorted, wiping tears from her eyes as she giggled hard. "Wait, wait, lemme guess! Zircon told you the bird thing, didn't she?"

Steven blushed, rubbing his arm nervously. "Uhh...maaaybe?"

Bismuth chuckled, finally starting to calm down. "Look, Steven. To tell you the truth, summoning weapons isn't all that important. I only use my chain when I think it's necessary, y'know? Most of the time, I just use _these_ babies." She held her arm up, turning her hand into the shape of a hammer.

"But you used your chain back at the house, remember?" Steven pointed out.

"Well, yeah, but that Centipeetle was attacking you! I didn't want to risk hurting you, so I whipped out my chain to lasso it and pull it back. If I had hit it, there would have been a good chance of me hitting you by accident." she explained, shoving another donut into her mouth and swallowing. "Listen, Steven, don't worry about it. I'm sure your weapon will come in time, okay? When you need it the most, it'll be there." She wrapped an arm around him warmly and hugged him close, giving him a kiss on the top of his head.

Steven wanted to hug back, but he was too lost in thought.

* * *

"Zircon says I'm supposed to focus a lot, but Bismuth says not to worry about it. What does that even mean?" he asked, looking up at the tall poofy-haired Gem in front of him.

Imperial Garnet put a finger to her chin in thought. "Hmm...that is really confusing! I wish I could tell you, but to be honest, I have no idea myself!"

Steven sighed. "How do you summon your weapons, Imperial?"

The magenta Gem's visible eye brightened up. "Oh, I get to tell a story? Okay! Well, imagine you have somewhere to go, but you forgot something in the house."

Steven nodded, leaning forward eagerly to hear more of Imperial's tale.

She seemed to pause for a moment to consider what to say next. "Hm...oh, yeah! So, you try to go inside, but it turns out you accidentally locked yourself out. Don't you just hate it when that happens? I always forget what to do..." She once again hesitated, losing herself in deep thought. Steven tilted his head to the side.

"Um, what does this have to do with summoning weapons?"

Imperial blinked, then perked up. "Oh, yeah! That's right! You summon your weapon and kick the door down! Just...be sure you have enough money to pay for a replacement door. Those things are pretty expensive." She gave him a thumbs up, looking proud of herself for remembering. "There we go! Hope that helps you, Steven!"

Steven just stared at her blankly. Then, he groaned and flopped down onto the sand.

* * *

"Okay! I've decided that my best bet is to recreate what happened last time!" Steven announced to all the Gems once they were back inside. They were back in the kitchen/dining area, standing in front of the fridge. "So...Zircon and Bismuth were behind the counter...Imperial was next to the fridge...Bismuth, I think your arms were crossed?" he said, pointing to each Gem as he recounted the experience to the best of his memory. Bismuth chuckled.

"Sure thing, Your Majesty!"

"And Zircon, your foot was like this!" he continued, moving Zircon's foot a tad to the right. The blue Gem looked at him in confusion.

"Steven, I'm pretty sure this isn't how it works. In all my years of experience, I've never-" Before she could finish, Bismuth elbowed her lightly.

"Oh, relax, Z. Just let him have his fun. Besides, he's half human, remember? Maybe this is how human/Gem hybrids summon their weapons." She turned back to the child expectantly. "Ready when you are, meatball!"

Steven smiled. "Alright! Just hold on one second..." Quickly, he reached up and grabbed Imperial's face, turning it slightly to the side. "Aaaand...there! Okay, so then I took a bite of this Cookie Cat!" He held up the ice cream sandwich triumphantly before realizing something. "Oh yeah, I sand the song first. Uh...frozen treat...all new taste...now available at Gurgen's." He sighed, hanging his head in dismay. "Aww, it was funnier last time. Maybe I'm just not ready to be a Crystal Gem."

Zircon walked over to him and put a reassuring hand on his shoulder. "Now, Steven, don't you worry. I'm sure you'll figure out how your powers work soon enough!"

"Yeah, and if you don't, I could always make you a weapon in the Forge!" Bismuth piped up. Steven gasped.

"Really?!"

Zircon laughed nervously and ruffled Steven's hair, giving Bismuth a stern look. "Ahaha, no. He's not old enough yet."

Bismuth scoffed. "Aw, c'mon, Z! Look, I'm no professional, but if he's old enough for his gem to be glowin', then he obviously must be ready for a weapon."

Steven sighed, shaking his head. "No, no, it's okay. Zircon's right. I'm just a kid, and I should be focusing on kid stuff instead of magic gem weapons." He held up his now-unwrapped Cookie Cat, smiling at it. "Like this Cookie Cat!" He took a bite out of it, savoring the taste. "Mmm...so good!"

All of a sudden, a blue glow began to shine from his back, stunning all three of the Gems in the room. Then, with a bright flash, two large, watery wings sprung from behind him.

Zircon gasped and covered her mouth in shock. "S-steven...th-they're...they're...!"

"Wings!" Imperial interrupted, clapping her hands together eagerly. "Steven has water wings!"

Steven gasped excitedly. "Whaaaat?! I have water wings? AWESOME!" Then, with a burst of energy, the water sprayed all over the room, splashing the television in the process and causing it to short-circuit. Steven was way too happy to notice, however. "It must be Cookie Cat that did this! I summon my weapon by eating ice cream!"

Zircon shakily picked up the wrapper and examined it in disbelief. "My word, what is in these things?"

Suddenly, a loud rumbling resonated throughout the house, coming from above. A screech sounded as the house began to shake.

"Wh-what was that?" Steven asked, unable to keep his voice steady through the quakes.

"Y-yeah, what was that?" Imperial chimed in, grabbing onto Bismuth to steady herself.

All three Gems walked outside to get a better look at what was going on, only to see a giant Centipeetle roaring at them from atop the cliff that the temple was built under. More acid rained down from its mouth, and a glowing green gem was situated where its pupil would have been located.

"I think it's the mother!" cried Imperial, and she immediately summoned her cleats, bouncing up towards the thing.

"Stay _in_ the house, Steven!" Zircon ordered sternly, summoning her cane. Imperial tried to land on the giant Centipeetle or at least get a kick in, but it knocked her away with tremendous force, sending her flying down to the beach below. Bismuth and Zircon tried to reach it from different angles, but there were even more tiny Centipeetles there to stop them. Steven gasped as he saw the three Gems regroup down at the beach.

"Don't worry, guys! I'll save you!" he cried, unbeknownst to them. He grabbed the mini freezer he got at the Big Donut, stuffed it full of Cookie Cats, and rushed to grab more extension cords.

Meanwhile, Bismuth, Zircon, and Imperial Garnet were hiding behind a large rock, which was slowly being melted away by the acid from the combined force of the Centipeetles.

"They're too high up!" Imperial wailed.

Bismuth grunted. "If Steven were here, he could fly us up there!"

"HEY!" shouted a familiar voice from the porch. "LEAVE THEM ALONE!"

The acid spray stopped, and the Gems darted their heads out from behind the rock in horror. Steven was standing confidently on the deck, freezer of Cookie Cats placed confidently on the ground in front of him.

"STEVEN, NO!" the Crystal Gems cried. Thankfully, the monsters seemed to be too interested in what exactly this new, non-Gem creature was to attack him, but they doubted that would last long.

"It's okay, you guys! Cookie Cat combo powers...ACTIVATE!" With a dramatic flourish, he dug a Cookie Cat from the freezer, unwrapped it, and took a big bite. Expectantly, he turned around, trying to see if there were any wings, but his gem wouldn't even glow. The Centipeetles looked at one another, confused. "Uh...heheh...hold on a second..." Quickly, Steven shoved the rest of the Cookie Cat in his mouth and bit into another one, but still nothing happened. At this point, the Centipeetles lost interest in him, and began to lurch forward and down the cliff. "Wait, wait wait! AAAHHH!"

Zircon began breathing heavily. "STEVEN!" she cried. "Hang on, baby! It's going to be okay!"

"Wait, that thing is coming down! We can attack it now!" Imperial pointed out, aiming a finger at the mother and her tiny offspring.

"Good observation, Imp! Come on, you guys! No time to waste!" said Bismuth, transforming her hands into hammers once again.

Steven was running down the beach, freezer still under his arm, furiously stuffing Cookie Cats into his mouth. "Come on, come on!" he yelled, trying his hardest to do whatever it was he did that caused his wings to appear. The Centipeetles were slow climbing down, but they were starting to catch up. Then, as if things couldn't get any worse, Steven tripped, letting go of the freezer just as the mother fired a spray of acid right in his direction.

Steven coughed, spitting sand out of his mouth, and looked around. He gasped in shock when he saw the freezer, broken and damaged beyond repair. The inside had surely suffered the same fate, as many Cookie Cat wrappers stuck out, burned and dissolved.

"No..." Steven said, getting up to inspect the damage. "NOOOOOO!" He looked up at the Centipeetle, tears in his eyes, when he saw the Gems creeping up as quietly as possible. The monsters were too focused on him that they didn't even notice the incoming sneak attack. It was then that Steven knew what he had to do.

"Cookie Cat...he's a pet for your tummy." he said determinedly, gripping tightly onto the wire that connected the freezer to the house. "Cookie Cat...he's super duper yummy!" The Centipeetles were very, very close to him now, but he didn't care. "COOKIE CAT! HE LEFT HIS FAMILY BEHIND! COOKIE CAAAAAT!" With that final cry, Steven twirled the freezer around by the cord like a lasso before chucking it directly at the mother, wrapping the wire around it. It shrieked and choked as the sparks from the damaged freezer zapped it. Its offspring immediately turned towards it in worry.

"NOW!" screamed the voice of Bismuth, and all three Gems charged forward with their weapons, striking the mother all at once. With one last, stifled shriek, it vanished into nothing, causing its babies to do the same. A single gem, the one inside its eye, was all that remained of it. Imperial approached the gem first, sealing it in a bubble and sending it away to the temple.

"Now available...nowhere." Steven sighed. "Farewell, sweet Cookie Cats. I'll miss you forever." His stomach rumbled, but he pat it lightly with a hand. "Hush, now."

"Aw, cheer up, Steven! That was resourceful thinking, throwing that freezer! It made defeating that monster way easier!" Bismuth encouraged, patting him on the back. The force of her large fist nearly caused him to topple over, but he appreciated the gesture nonetheless. Imperial looked bewildered.

"Wait, that was YOU?"

Bismuth chuckled. "Well, who else could it have been, Impy? Hey, Zircon, why don't you come over here and congratulate Steven for helping us out there?"

"In a minute!" said the exhausted voice of Zircon as she tried to catch her breath. She was furiously wiping the sweat from her face, looking like she was going to pass out.

Steven couldn't help but smile. "Thanks, guys. But if my powers don't come from ice cream, then how will I ever learn to control them?"

Zircon plopped down beside him with a wheeze, wrapping her arms around him and hugging him tightly. "I'm...sure you'll learn...in time, Steven. Just...don't ever do anything dangerous like that again."

Bismuth rolled her eyes playfully and ruffled Steven's hair. "I guess Zircon does have a point. You could have gotten really hurt there, Steven. You should really learn how to get a handle on those wings of yours first before you go trying anything crazy. Lucky for you, everything turned out okay, huh?" She winked at him. "But don't worry. I'm sure you'll get the hang of it eventually."

"Yeah!" said Imperial, settling down beside him as well. "In your own, uh...Steven-y way?"

The rest of the Gems, including Steven, laughed. "Thanks, everyone. From this day forward, I, Steven Universe, solemnly swear to-" Suddenly, he slapped a hand over his mouth, his stomach rumbling once again. "Ugghh...I think I ate too many Cookie Cats..."

Zircon, Bismuth, and Imperial laughed once more, wrapping their arms around him for a group hug.

...Then, Steven threw up over their backs.

* * *

 **Well, that was probably the weirdest AU I've ever come up with! I've always liked Bismuth and Zircon, though, and I wanted to give them their own chance to shine!**

 **Those of you who follow my Instagram might know who Imperial Garnet is. It's pretty obvious, judging from the way she acts, but let's just say she's a fusion between two canon characters. I won't say who (even though it's glaringly apparent), but you'll find out soon enough!**

 **Stay tuned for next time, when we tackle Laser Light Canon!**


	2. Laser Light Cannon

Steven laughed as he and Bismuth approached Beach Citywalk Fries. He was perched on the taller Gem's shoulders, spreading his arms out as she held his legs securely. Mr. Fryman looked up at them, momentarily taken aback by seeing customers at this hour.

"Alright, down ya go, little buddy!" Bismuth snickered, lifting Steven off of her and placing him in front of the counter. He wobbled a bit unsteadily, but quickly regained his balance.

"Hey, Fryman!" he greeted. "Gimme the bits!"

Fryman shook his head and flipped the "open" sign to "closed." "Sorry, Steven. It's closing time."

Steven frowned in dismay. "Aw, whaaat?"

Bismuth gave Fryman a winning smile. "Aw, come on! Bits don't take that long to make, right? I say give 'em to him!" She began patting her fists on the counter, trying her best not to crack or break it with her immense strength. "The bits! The bits! The bits!" she chanted, and Steven joined in.

Fryman looked worriedly at Bismuth's large fists and waved his hands. "Okay, okay! Just go easy on that counter, will ya? I just got it replaced after last time."

Bismuth chuckled and ran a hand through her rainbow dreadlocks. "Heheh, yeah, sorry about that." she said, reaching down to give Steven a high-five.

Only a few seconds later, Fryman returned with a bag full of fry bits. "You know, I can give you regular fries if you want."

Steven took the bag and passed some money over the counter. "Just the bits, please! Thank you, Mr. Fryman!"

"Take care, you two!" the older man replied, and turned around to continue closing up shop for the day.

Steven happily munched on his fry bits, offering some to Bismuth. "Want any?"

"Heh, why not?" the tall Gem replied, taking a few and shoving them into her mouth. Steven sighed as he looked out onto the beach, the orange sky casting beautiful, glimmering rays over the ocean.

"Ah, sunset...my favorite time of day!" he said between bites. "The sun goes down, the sky turns all pretty, and the second sun starts getting bigger..."

Bismuth burst out laughing. "Hahaha, you little goofball! I've been on this planet way longer than you have, kiddo, and I'm pretty sure there's no second...second..." She trailed off in awe as she followed Steven's gaze. There, hanging ominously in the sky, was a large orange sphere with a metallic-looking texture. "Oh no...what is that doing here?!"

Steven glanced at Bismuth curiously. "Hm? What do you- hey!" He didn't have time to finish his sentence, as the muscular Gem had already lifted him up, sending his bag of fry bits tumbling to the ground. "Hey, my bits!"

"Sorry, Steven, but now isn't the time for bits! This is an emergency! Come on, let's go find the others!" And with that, she carried him away, running as fast as she could.

* * *

"So...this is bad, right?" Imperial Garnet asked, shifting nervously.

Zircon's eyes were glued to her telescope. She was shaking and trembling as she spoke. "Of course it's bad! It's waaay more than bad! It's CATASTROPHIC!" She wiped sweat from her brow hastily.

"Imperial! Zircon!" shouted the voice of Bismuth as she ran forward, Steven in hand. "Ah, there you are! I'm guessing you already saw it, then?"

"Oh, we saw it, alright!" Zircon wailed. "And I'm pretty sure it can see us, too!"

Bismuth shook her head solemnly. "This is not good..."

"Hey, can I see?" Steven asked, jumping out of Bismuth's hand and running over to the telescope. Upon looking through, he was able to get a better look at the thing, and gasped when he saw metal shudders surrounding the thing retract to reveal a bright red iris. "Whoa...it's a giant eyeball! That's so cool!"

"COOL?!" Zircon exclaimed, burying her fingers in her hair worriedly. "It is most certainly NOT cool! If that Red Eye hits us, we'll all be crushed, along with the innocent residents of Beach City! Oh, what do we do, what do we do?!"

"A Red Eye?! Oh, no! Even if we escape, it could still infect us!" Steven cried.

"What?! Really?!" Imperial said, looking back and forth between Zircon and Bismuth in shock.

Despite the situation, Bismuth couldn't help but chuckle. "No, no, no! You're thinking of pink eye. This thing isn't contagious. It's just deadly."

Steven calmed down, but Imperial still looked worried. "Wait...I have a pink eye! Does that mean I'm infected? What if I'm contagious?"

"You're not infected with anything, Imperial! Gems can't get sick, remember?" Zircon snapped, then sighed. "Oh, comets and constellations...what do we do? We have to stop this thing somehow!"

"Oh, wait! I think I know how!" Imperial chimed in. "Hold on, it's on the tip of my tongue! It was some kind of...laser, right? Was that it?"

"A laser light cannon." Bismuth said glumly. "I used to make those for Lapis Lazuli waaaayy back when."

Steven looked taken aback. "You mean...my mom?"

Bismuth nodded. "Yep. They were some of the most complex weapons I've ever built. Give me any other weapon, and I can make it in two minutes, tops. But a laser light cannon? Those are tough. It takes days to make those things, and we don't have that kind of time."

Zircon tugged on her neckerchief anxiously. "We have to find some other solution, but how?! Oh no, oh no, oh no...!"

Suddenly, Steven perked up. "Hey, wait! If it belonged to my mom, I'll bet my dad has it! He can help us save the day!" Silence was his only response. He looked at each of the Gems in confusion.

Zircon coughed. "Steven, Greg is...a nice fellow, but I highly doubt Lapis would have entrusted him with a weapon as powerful as that."

Bismuth nodded glumly. "Besides, even if she did, Greg can be pretty...messy. I mean, he does live in a van, y'know. If she really left one of her laser light cannons with him, he probably lost it somehow."

Imperial shifted uncomfortably and then spoke up. "Well...I don't know. I mean, Lapis really loved Greg. If she gave him something valuable, I don't really think he'd get rid of it! Maybe we...shouldn't count out Greg? I don't know, I believe in him."

Zircon and Bismuth looked at each other in surprise. Steven grinned. "Thanks, Imperial! I'm sure my dad has that light cannon laying around somewhere! I'll go ask him!"

Imperial looked pleased with herself. Bismuth sighed and patted Steven on the shoulder. "Well, alright. I guess there's no harm in asking. In the meantime, we'll try to find out another solution over here." Determinedly, she hopped into Imperial's arms. "Alright, Impy! Throw me!"

"Uh...where?"

"At the Red Eye! Come on!" Panicking, Imperial leaped up high into the air and hurled Bismuth as hard as she could towards the giant eye. "HAAAAHHHH!" cried the muscular Gem as she zoomed towards the offending object with great speed. Then, with a very painful-sounding crash, she collided into it, sliding down into the ocean.

Steven watched her fall with a grimace. "Uh...I'm gonna go..." he said. Zircon waved in his direction distractedly.

"Okay...you do that..."

* * *

Steven banged loudly on the door to his dad's van. "Hey, Dad! Are you in there? Wake up! We have to save the world!" He climbed on top of the van and attempted to jump on it, but instead ended up tripping, setting off the car alarm. Suddenly, the doors opened, and a pudgy, bearded man with balding hair stepped out.

"Who's there?! I have a waffle iron!" he cried, waving the tool around. Steven hopped off of the van and approached him.

"Dad, it's me!" he said. Greg squinted blearily, his eyes adjusting to the light.

"...Steven?" he asked, only to be greeted by a hug from his son. Smiling, he hugged back, ruffling his poofy hair. "It's so good to see you, kiddo! What are you doing up so late?"

Steven chuckled. "Dad, the sun just went down an hour ago!"

Greg blushed, realizing just how faint the light outside was. "Oh...heh. Sorry, it was a slow day at the car wash. Anyway, what's up? Did you just need to see your old man again so he could teach you some life lessons?"

Steven laughed. "No, I just need the light cannon that belonged to Mom so I can blow up that giant eyeball!" He pointed to the sky, where the Red Eye was slowly drawing nearer and nearer. Bismuth could be seen hurtling towards it, shouting a war cry. Inevitably, she crashed into it once again, falling down into the water.

Greg was silent as he gaped at the thing. "W-wait, that's not a magical thing, is it? The Gems told me not to get involved in that stuff! It could be dangerous, or interfere with what's left of my hair!" He rubbed the back of his head nervously, where long brown hair flowed freely except for on his scalp.

"But we need Mom's cannon! It's the only way we can stop that thing from crashing into Earth and crushing us all! Come on, you know where it is, right? Is it in a cave dungeon? A cloud fortress? Ooh, is it at the bottom of the ocean?"

Greg chuckled lightly. "Well, I don't know about all that, but I think I know where it might be."

Steven's eyes sparkled. "Really? Is it someplace magical?"

Greg smiled. "Well, I guess you could say that."

* * *

In only a few minutes, the father and son pair had arrived at a building with a large door.

"Is this some kind of secret storage unit with magic protection?" Steven asked eagerly. Greg laughed.

"Ha, not exactly. But there are definitely some hidden wonders in there!" He winked at his son, who looked at him blankly. Greg once again rubbed the back of his head. "It's just an old shed I use to store all of my stuff when it won't fit in the van. If that cannon or whatever it's called is anywhere, it's probably in here." With a grunt, he opened the door, revealing an extremely cluttered room filled with furniture and other knick-knacks. Steven examined the hefty pile.

"If I'm going in there, I'm gonna need some gear!"

Within minutes, Steven was ready. Using a sock, he had tied a flashlight around his head. A cable was wrapped around his waist, with has dad holding the other end. "Good luck!" Greg called as Steven crawled through the various odds and ends.

"Whoa, this is cool!" the boy said as the flashlight shined on everything. "It's like a dad museum!" He paused as the light hit something that looked vaguely cannon-like to him. "Hey, there it is!" He reached over to grab it, only to find that it was just a bag full of golf clubs. "Dad, I didn't know you liked golfing."

Greg shrugged, even though his son couldn't see it. "Eh, I guess I'd like to think of myself as someone who would golf...y'know, eventually."

Steven continued to search through his father's various personal effects. Every time he saw something that looked like a cannon, it turned out to be something else. The only actual "cannon" that he found was a T-shirt cannon that shot shirts that read "buy T-shirt cannons." Steven was about ready to give up hope when he saw an older-looking box filled with what appeared to be albums.

"Hey! I think I found a bunch of your old CDs!" He took one and examined the cover before putting it in his pocket.

Greg smiled wistfully as nostalgia overtook him. "Aw, I could never give those away. You know, before the car wash, I was a one-man band! I used to travel the whole country."

"I know, Dad." Steven chuckled, having heard this story many a time before.

"When I came to Beach City to play, no one showed up to my concert except-"

"AN ALLIGATOR!" Steven interrupted.

"Wha- no, it was your mother!" Greg laughed.

"Heheh, I know."

Greg sighed fondly as he ventured deeper into his memories. "Yeah...we were always together after that...at least, until she gave up her physical form to bring you into the world. I swear, to this day, I still don't know what a magical lady like her ever saw in a plain old dope like me."

Steven stopped crawling when he felt something crack under his knee. He looked down and saw a picture of Greg and a blue woman who was slightly shorter than him. They were both smiling, and Greg had a hot dog shoved in his mouth. Steven gasped when he noticed that he had apparently broken some of the glass in the picture frame.

"Uh, Dad? I, um...broke a photo!"

"It's okay, buddy! If every pork chop were perfect, we wouldn't have hot dogs!" Greg replied nonchalantly. Steven felt better after his father's reassurance and began to move forward, but once again paused when he noticed a blue glow. Sure enough, there was a cannon, decorated elegantly with patterns that looked like ocean waves.

"The light cannon! Dad, I found it!" Steven called excitedly. Greg was distracted looking at the Red Eye, but quickly snapped out of it when he heard his son's voice.

"Really? Can you bring it out?"

"I don't think so...it looks too heavy. But don't worry, I have an idea!" Thinking resourcefully, Steven untied the cord from around his waist and secured it tightly to the large weapon. "Dad, can you tie the other end of that cable to the van? Don't worry, I'm not attached to it anymore!" Greg nodded and ran to go retrieve his vehicle. When he returned, he did as he was told and drove forward, causing the cannon (as well as many of the other contents of the shed) to come out of the door with ease.

"Thanks, Dad! Now come on, we gotta get this to the beach!"

"But how? It's too big for the van!" Greg objected. Steven looked around and noticed something among the pile of items from the shed: a wagon. Greg noticed it at the same time, and they both gave each other a knowing look.

* * *

Greg drove to the beach, Steven in the passenger seat beside him, as the cannon scraped against the ground behind them. It was attached to the car by the cable, and it was being pulled along inside the wagon. Its weight caused the bottom of the wagon to dent, dragging along the pavement.

"Is it gonna be okay?" Steven asked as he looked behind them at the cannon in tow. Greg shrugged, trying to hide his nervousness.

"Heh, well, if every pork chop were perfect-"

"We wouldn't have hot dogs!" Steven finished. Greg smiled weakly in acknowledgement, but he couldn't stop himself from staring back at the Red Eye. He shuddered in fear when he noticed how much closer it seemed to be.

"Is...is that thing getting bigger? It's really freaking me out." the man said, feeling sweat start to creep onto his brow.

"Can the van go any faster?" Steven asked.

"This is as fast as it can go." Greg remarked, fidgeting anxiously. Steven noticed this and decided to cheer him up. He produced the CD he had taken from the shed.

"Hey, don't worry about it, okay? Here, let's put on your CD!"

Greg blushed, embarrassed. "R-really? Aw, c'mon, you've heard it before..." Steven laughed.

"YOU come on!" he said, inserting the disc. Sure enough, the first song started playing, opening with a guitar and leading right into Greg's voice.

" _I know I'm not that tall,_

 _I know I'm not that smart."_

 _"But let me drive my van into your heart!_ " Steven sang along, bouncing to the music. Greg couldn't help but smile, even as they pulled up to the beach.

Imperial was holding up a messy-looking Bismuth, who was glaring at the Red Eye. "Throw me again! I think I'm cracking it!"

"NO! No more throwing!" Zircon interrupted.

"Hey, you guys!" Steven greeted cheerfully. All three Gems gasped when they saw the cannon.

"He...he really DID have it!" Zircon cried. "We're saved! We're saved! By Orion's great belt, we're saved!"

Bismuth gave a thumbs-up in their direction. "Sorry for doubting you, Greg! Steven, let me help you bring it over here!" Effortlessly, the muscular Gem hefted the cannon into her arms and placed it in front of the others, aiming it at the Red Eye.

"Alright, Bismuth! You made this thing! How does it work?" Zircon asked. Bismuth opened her mouth confidently to respond, but stopped, face going pale.

"Uh-oh."

"'UH-OH?' What do you mean 'UH-OH?!'" Zircon panicked. Bismuth looked at her apologetically.

"Heheh...well, y'see...the cannon can only be activated by a secret code that only Lapis knew." She blushed and rubbed the back of her neck. "I, uh...made it like that to prevent people from using it for their own evil purposes. I guess, uh...I should have asked her what it was."

"WHAT?!" everyone else screamed, except for Imperial, whose "what?" was actually more like a question. She was having a hard time hearing over the noise that the Red Eye was starting to make as it was now mere miles above the ground.

"Look, I'm sorry, okay? Just throw me again! I can destroy it this time!" Bismuth said, frustrated.

"No, that's not going to work!" Zircon replied. "It's no use! We're doomed! DOOMED! WE'RE ALL DOOMED!" As if on cue, Greg's van was being sucked into the Red Eye's gravitational pull.

"HEY! My van! NO!" he shouted, reaching for it and trying to push it back.

Steven looked sadly over at his father, who looked just as defeated as everyone else. "Dad...I'm sorry. I wish I knew what to do. I can't save us. I can't save anyone."

Greg gazed at him reassuringly despite the impending danger and the force he was exerting to keep his van in place. "It's okay, son. This isn't your fault. We'll find something out."

Steven's eyes filled with tears, but he still tried his best to smile. "Yeah...if every pork chop were perfect, we wouldn't have hot dogs."

Suddenly, the cannon began to glow even more. The wave-like patterns opened up, and the center emitted the brightest light Steven had ever seen.

"It's working! IT'S WORKING!" Zircon shouted, rushing over to it. With help from the other Crystal Gems, she lifted it up and aimed it directly at the Red Eye's pupil.

"Oh my...the Red Eye is getting closer!" Imperial shouted. Bismuth smirked.

"Not for long! Brace yourselves, everyone!"

Then, with a great flash of blue, the cannon shot a beam shaped like a raindrop, which opened up to reveal a slender figure that looked remarkably like Lapis Lazuli. The surrounding parts of the beam turned into waves, and with a loud crash, it collided with the Red Eye, causing it to explode. Rubble rained down on the city, crashing into the boardwalk, but thankfully, no one was hit.

"Steven! You just saved most of Beach City!" Bismuth said, scooping the boy up into her arms and hugging him tightly. He choked and struggled to breathe, causing her to let go. "Oops. Sorry, heh."

"Great job, Steven! That was wonderful!" said Imperial Garnet, leaning down towards him.

"WHOO-HOO! WE'RE SAFE! WE'RE SAFE! YEEEAAHHH!" yelled Zircon as she skipped around the beach. Then, upon noticing everybody staring at her, she cleared her throat and stood up straighter. "Ahem...yes, that was an excellent save, Steven! But how in the cosmos did you get it to work?"

"Oh, I just said that thing that Dad always says!" Steven responded, picking himself up off of the ground. Zircon raised her eyebrows skeptically.

"You mean that thing about the pork rinds?"

"Actually, I'm pretty sure it was hot dogs. I think..." said Imperial, scratching her head. Meanwhile, Greg was still staring at the sky, wiping tears from his eyes.

"Lapis..." he said lovingly. Then, suddenly, the tide came in hard, causing Greg's van to start floating away. "MY VAN!" he yelled, chasing after it.

Steven laughed. "It's okay, Dad! If every pork chop were perfect-"

"I LIVE IN THERE!"

"Oh." Steven got to his feet, chasing after the vehicle alongside his father. "Hey, hey, wait up!"

"Oh geez, oh geez, oh geez..." Greg panicked, running off into the sunset.

* * *

 **Not really much to say about this chapter! Sorry if it was a little boring because it was too similar to the original. I do plan on giving certain episodes different outcomes, but that's a lot further down the line. Do not fret, though! Next episode is Cheeseburger Backpack, where we get to see a lot more of Steven's interaction with the Gems. Stay tuned!**


	3. Cheeseburger Backpack

It was another bright, sunny day in Beach City, and Steven was sitting next to the mailbox in front of the Crystal Temple. He was singing to himself to pass the time, as he was eagerly awaiting a certain package.

" _Hey, Mr. Postman, bring me a post! Bring me the post that I love the most!_ " As if on cue, his eyes widened when he saw Jamie, the resident mailman, approaching the temple with mailbag wrapped over his shoulder. "My song came true!" he said excitedly as he waved to the figure in the distance. "Jamie, Jamie! Do you have a package for me today?"

The postman smiled and sifted through the bag. "Well, let's see what we got here...Did you order a loaf of bread with a stamp on it?" he asked, pulling out a bread-shaped package.

"Nope!" Steven replied, shaking his head.

"Hmm...how about a jury summons for R.J. Finkle?"

"What? That's not me! I'm Steven!" the child laughed. Jamie continued to search through the bag, finally producing the right package.

"Ah, here we go! Steven Universe!"

Steven grabbed the package from him immediately, gazing at it with starry eyes. "Aw, yes! Finally! This thing is gonna help me save the world!"

Jamie cocked his head. "Really? It says it's from Wacky Sacks Supply Company."

"Well, Imperial Garnet, Bismuth, and Zircon think I shouldn't go on magic adventures because I don't know how to use my powers..." Steven explained.

"That sounds reasonable." Jamie said with a nod.

"...BUT there are other ways I can help!" he continued, undeterred.

"With a Wacky Sack?"

"Exactly! This Wacky Sack holds all the power I need to help the Gems without my magical water wings!" Steven held the box up high triumphantly.

"Well, do you know how you can save my world?" Jamie asked. Steven gave him an eager look as the postman produced a clipboard and a pen. "Sign your name on the dotted line. Barb gets mad at me if I don't get signatures." Steven nodded determinedly and wrote his name as neatly as possible (which wasn't very neat, considering how excited he was).

"Don't worry, Jamie! I, Steven Universe, am here to protect you from getting yelled at by your boss!" Then, all of a sudden, a blue glow shone from inside the windows of the beach house, causing Steven to drop the pen in his happiness. "Imperial, Bismuth, and Zircon are back!" he cried, running away with package in hand.

"Hey, wait, Steven!" Jamie called, but the child was already long gone. The postman sighed and picked up the pen from the ground. "What even is a Wacky Sack, anyway?"

* * *

Steven opened the door, preparing to greet the rest of the Crystal Gems, but stopped when he noticed the bizarre scene in front of him. "Huh?"

Imperial walked up to him, covered from head to toe in feathers. "Hello, Steven!" she said happily.

"Bismuth, be careful with that! If you drop it and it breaks, it'll make a huge mess!" Zircon scolded as Bismuth tossed what appeared to be a large, star-covered egg up and down.

"Relax, Zirc! I got this! I just want to show Steven my skills!" the muscular Gem replied, winking at him. Unfortunately, as she was juggling it, it ended up landing on her head and cracking, the messy insides getting all over her face. She and Steven laughed, but Zircon merely rolled her eyes.

"We fought a giant bird," she said, turning to Steven. "And we have to go back out again. There's another important issue that needs our attention."

"Ooh, like what?!" Steven asked, clutching his package tightly.

Zircon held up a small statue. "This is the Moon Goddess Statue. We have to put it on top of the ancient Lunar Sea Spire by midnight, or the whole thing will collapse!" The blue Gem sighed fondly as she remembered what the spire was like. "Oh, Steven, if only you could have seen what it was like thousands of years ago! It was an oasis for Gems on Earth!" She tapped her monocle, and a circular screen appeared before her. On it was a picture of what Steven guessed was the spire, along with several other Gems. Zircon admired the photo and said, "Though it's abandoned now, we still have a chance to save it, and it's all thanks to this statue!"

Steven's eyes widened. "That's perfect!"

Zircon's screen faded. "Wait, what?"

"Because I can help you carry that statue to the top in...THIS!" Steven opened his package dramatically, pulling out what appeared to be a cheeseburger-shaped backpack. Zircon tilted her head.

"Is that a...hamburger?"

Steven smiled proudly. "It's a cheeseburger backpack! See, it's shaped like a cheeseburger!" He put it on, adjusting the straps. "I was planning on wearing it to impress you guys so you could be like, 'Dang, Steven, that's so cool,' but it looks like this is serious business!"

Zircon looked unamused. "Well, you're right. This is very important, not to mention very dangerous. You should stay home so that you don't get hurt."

"What? But I'm a Gem, just like you guys!" He turned around, pointing at the gemstone on his back.

"That may be so, but you still have a lot to learn." Zircon said, straightening her neckerchief.

"Aww, c'mon!" Bismuth butted in, slapping Zircon on the back, causing her to nearly fall over. "I say let him come! He could use the training! This can't be any more dangerous than the Centipeetles or the Red Eye! We've got plenty of time until midnight, and we'll be with Steven throughout the whole thing so that he doesn't get hurt."

Zircon wobbled, trying to regain her balance, and sighed. "Oh, alright. I suppose you do have a point. Here, Steven." She handed him the statue. "You can carry it in your hamburger thing. Just don't lose it, okay?"

Steven saluted and accepted the statue from her. "Don't worry, Zircon! You can count on me!" He opened different compartments of the backpack. "Look, every ingredient is a pocket! Even the cheese is a pocket! We could fit way more than just a statue in here! In fact...that gives me an idea! I'm gonna pack extra supplies!"

While the Gems gathered on top of the Warp Pad, Steven ran to the fridge and stuffed bagels inside one of the compartments. After that, he went upstairs to his room and began packing many more things, including some sweaters and an inflatable raft. While he was heading back, he accidentally stepped on a green plush doll.

"Ooof!" the doll said. Steven laughed and picked it up, waving it around. "Kid, don't shake me!" the toy responded. "I got a medical condition!"

"Aww, good ol' Mr. Queasy! You're definitely gonna come in handy!" Steven giggled, removing a first aid kit he had packed and putting the plush in its place.

"Steven, are you almost done? We have to go!" Zircon called anxiously. Hurriedly, the boy zipped up the backpack and put it on.

"Yeah, I'm coming!" He ran enthusiastically down the stairs and joined the Gems on the Warp Pad. Zircon raised an eyebrow.

"Steven, just how much did you pack? Not too much, I hope."

"Oh, stop being such a worrywart, Z!" Bismuth said. "Come on, Steven! Let's do this!"

"How wonderful!" Imperial Garnet said happily. "Our first real mission with Steven is about to begin!"

With a flash of cyan, the Warp Pad began to glow, and light surrounded them...except for in the middle, where Steven's gut was hanging over the edge of the pad.

"Suck it in, little man! Do it for the spire!" Bismuth encouraged playfully, and Steven did as he was told, inhaling deeply until his stomach was behind the light.

Then, all of a sudden, they were shooting upwards (or at least that was what the direction they were going in felt like), and Steven began floating into the air. He laughed, going in every which way, much to Zircon's paranoia.

"Now, now, Steven, be careful. Do you remember how to- hey, no! Get your head back in!" She grabbed him, yanking him towards her when he tried to poke his head out of the barrier of light.

Finally, the glow ceased, and Steven fell onto the cold surface of...another Warp Pad. He looked up in awe at the giant, decaying tower that loomed over them. They appeared to be surrounded by water, a large waterfall circling the secluded area they were in.

"Whoa...the Sea Spire!" Steven said, absorbing as much of its appearance as he could. It was his first time visiting an ancient Gem location, and he wondered if they were all this cool.

+Zircon clicked her tongue critically. "Hmm...it certainly wasn't like this a hundred years ago. Then again, there hasn't really been anyone around to-"

"Oh my!" Imperial interrupted. "This spire looks like it hasn't been attended to at all! We should be careful when exploring it, or else it could collapse BEFORE midnight!"

Zircon looked briefly annoyed, but her face paled as she saw Steven standing on the edge of the platform they were on, which was beginning to crack. "That doesn't sound good." he remarked, unaware of what was happening. Panicking, Zircon rushed forward and grabbed him just before the rock beneath him collapsed and fell into the water below.

"Nope, nope, nope, NOPE!" she spluttered, hugging the boy close to him. "Nuh-uh! No way! That's it! We're taking Steven home!"

"Oh, come on, Zirc! One little slip-up doesn't mean he's not ready." Bismuth remarked matter-of-factly. Zircon looked at her as if she had two heads.

"Bismuth, he could have DIED!"

"Um..." Imperial spoke up hesitantly. "I think what Bismuth means is...we should still try to give Steven a chance? I mean, he hasn't even entered the spire yet..."

Zircon groaned in frustration, putting Steven down. She looked at him seriously. "Listen, Steven. This spire is an important part of not just our heritage, but yours as well. That's why I want you to be very, very careful so that we can help restore this place for you. Do you understand?"

Steven winked and gave her a thumbs-up. "You got it, dude!"

Zircon blinked, but sighed in concession. "Okay, good."

"Uh, I think we should get going now." Imperial said uneasily.

Bismuth nodded. "Imp is right. Come on, Steven! Are you ready for an adventure?"

Steven laughed and ran up to her eagerly. "Yeah! Adventure!" They ventured forward towards the edge of the cliff, but stopped immediately when they looked down below. Bismuth held out a hand to stop them.

"Whoa, hold on a second. I don't think we can cross this that easily. I feel like there's something about this whirlpool..."

Sure enough, the water was swirling around, creating a vicious whirlpool. Steven looked at it curiously and tried to throw a rock over it, but it stopped in midair and plummeted downwards towards the spiraling liquid below. Imperial gasped.

"Oh, no! That whirlpool will surely do the same to us if we tried to jump!"

Zircon gulped. "S-so...what do we do?"

Steven thought for a second, but then an idea popped into his mind. "Oh, oh! I know!" Reaching into his bag, he produced the two sweaters that he had packed. Bismuth looked curious.

"What are those for?" she asked.

"Well," Steven replied, tying one of the sleeves to the sleeve of the other, "they _were_ supposed to keep us warm if we got cold, but watch this!"

Still holding on to one of the sleeves, he whipped the sweaters through one of the spire's many windows. The other end came back around to him, and he gripped it tightly. Taking a deep breath and holding tightly on to the sweaters, he took a leap of faith over the gap.

"STEVEN!" the Gems screamed in horror as he went plummeting downwards. Steven didn't let go of the sweaters, clenching his eyes shut in determination.

"Come on, cheeseburger powers!" he yelled, planting his feet firmly on to the wall. He ran as fast as he could up the spire, never letting go. Finally, he made it up, leaping through the window safely.

The Gems stared, awestruck and dumbfounded. Finally, Imperial began to clap, while Bismuth broke into uproarious laughter.

"Of course!" she giggled, snorting as she did so. "Why didn't I think of that?" Reaching towards the pushed-in gem on her chest, she summoned her chain, repeating the process that Steven had done with his shirts. She reached over and picked up Zircon (who was still staring in shock) and Imperial, jumping over the gap and climbing to safety.

"Good job, little buddy!" she said once she arrived next to him, placing the other Gems down. "Once again, you surprise me with how clever you are!"

Steven beamed at the compliment. As Bismuth and Imperial began to march forward, Zircon stood stock-still, gaping at him.

"...Steven?" she finally said.

"Yeah?"

"NEVER do something that dangerous again." She paused, adjusting her monocle, before a faint smile crept onto her face. "...Though it was rather brilliant, I grant you."

* * *

The Gems walked up what felt like the hundredth set of stairs to Steven, even though it was really only the second. Bismuth had offered to carry him, but he had adamantly refused, insisting that he was strong enough. Zircon's rambling about each flaw in the tower's design wasn't exactly helping him, either.

"Hm...oh, no, that isn't right. That statue used to have a head...oh, and there wasn't always a big hole in that wall...this pillar was still intact...I swear, Steven, once we get the Moon Goddess Statue in place, all of this will be fixed. As a matter of fact, I don't think there's- GREAT GOOGLY MOOGLY!" she suddenly exclaimed, jumping back in horror. Crawling along one of the statues in the room was a small, white creature with spikes on its back and a suction-like mouth. Immediately, Zircon summoned her cane and bashed the thing with it furiously, causing it to disappear.

"Ooh, what was that thing?" Steven asked. Zircon shuddered in disgust.

"Ugh... _Crystal Shrimp_..." she muttered in contempt. Before she could explain more, Bismuth's voice called down to them from the top of the stairs to the next room.

"Uh, you guys? We kinda got a problem here..."

When Steven and Zircon joined them, the blue Gem shrieked in a way that was quite undignified. Crawling along the floor were several more Crystal Shrimp, completely blocking their path.

"Oh, minerals and fossils, it's an infestation!" Zircon cried, shivering in discomfort. "How are we going to get to the top now?"

Steven examined one of the tiny creatures curiously. "What's wrong? They're so small and harmless! You can just squish 'em!" He reached out his foot to do so, but Zircon panicked and dragged him away.

"NONONONO, THEIR SHARDS ARE DEADLY!" She panted frantically, formulating a situation. She once again tapped her monocle and produced several screens. With her finger, she began to tap, write, and draw on them. "Okay, okay, I have an idea! So, if Bismuth goes about two feet to the right and distracts them, Imperial can leap onto the ceiling and strike the-"

"Who wants BAGELS?" Steven proclaimed loudly, tossing bagel sandwiches at the far side of the room. Immediately, the Crystal Shrimp gathered around them hungrily and began devouring them. Their path was now clear.

"How lovely! Steven's bagels have distracted the horrible Crystal Shrimp!" Imperial Garnet said cheerily.

"Ha, always full of surprises, aren't ya, kiddo? We should bring you on missions like these more often!" Bismuth chuckled, ruffling Steven's hair. Zircon stared blankly as her screens disappeared.

"Wh-wha...how did...I mean...you...what?" she stuttered. "How did you know that would work?"

Steven shrugged. "Well, if I was a shrimp, that's what I would do!" Bismuth laughed.

"You are a shrimp! C'mere, you!" She picked him up and gave him a noogie before carrying him up the next flight of stairs, Imperial not far behind. Zircon cleared her throat.

"...Yes, well, my plan would have worked too."

* * *

After what seemed like hours, the Gems reached the top of yet another staircase. Suddenly, Imperial stuck a hand in front of them.

"Oh, no! There's a crack in the wall!" she said worriedly, examining it. It was leaking water fast. "I think it's about to-"

With a loud _whoosh,_ the wall burst, and water filled a large, winding gap in front of them and poured out of the tower. Imperial turned to the rest of the group. "The wall broke."

"Well, you know what this is a job for?" Bismuth asked, she and Zircon looking at Steven expectantly. Imperial tilted her head.

"No, what?" she asked.

Steven looked taken aback by the Gems staring at him. "Who, me?"

"Yeah, little bro! Whatcha got in that magic bag of yours?" Bismuth said encouragingly. "Come on, everyone! Cheeseburger backpack! Cheeseburger backpack! Cheeseburger backpack!" she began chanting, the other Gems joining her.

Steven, feeling motivated by their cheers, dug through his bag and gasped when he saw the exact thing that they needed to get across. "AHA!" he shouted, producing the raft he had packed. Bismuth and Zircon stopped chanting and cheered. It took Imperial a few seconds to realize that everybody had stopped, however, and she blushed in embarrassment before ceasing her chants.

"Oh, Steven, you packed a raft! How sensible of you!" Zircon gushed proudly. Steven puffed his chest out at the praise.

"Alright, raft! Here we goooo!" He pulled the string on the raft, inflating it, and placed it into the water. Unfortunately, it got carried away by the current, floating off without them. "...Oh."

"Ah, it's okay!" Bismuth reassured. She turned her hand into the shape of a hammer and knocked one of the pillars down, creating a bridge across the gap instead. "That was still a smart idea! We can't all be winners." She and the rest of the Gems walked across, Steven still feeling a bit down at the loss of his raft. Bismuth noticed this and gave him a thumbs up. "Hey, don't worry, Steven. We're getting closer to the top now! Once we get there, you can be the one to put the statue back in place and restore the spire. How's that sound?"

Steven immediately perked up, starry-eyed. "Really? Thanks, Bismuth!" he said excitedly.

"No problem, little guy!" she responded, and they both continued up the next flight of stairs.

* * *

"We're finally here!" Zircon chirped once they reached the top. "The Moon Goddess Pedestal! All we need to do now is place the statue here, and the spire should be returned to its former glory!"

"Uh...Steven, you have the statue, right? I kinda forgot it..." Imperial said nervously. Steven smiled.

"Aw, don't worry, Imperial! Zircon gave the statue to me before we left! And I put it right...HERE!" Steven said, digging through one of his backpack compartments. Suddenly, he froze, realizing that there was nothing inside. "Uh...heheh...it must be in a different pocket..." He opened each one and examined them carefully, but to his horror, he found that there was no Moon Goddess Statue in sight.

"You okay there, buddy?" Bismuth asked. Steven gave her a worried look.

"I don't have it!" he cried. The Gems gasped.

"Wh-what? Where could it be?" Zircon said anxiously.

"I think I left it on the bed!" Steven replied. Suddenly, all three Gems looked at the moon, which was already high in the sky.

"Oh, pebbles! There's no time to go back and get it!" Zircon wailed. "What do we do?"

Then, an idea popped into Steven's head. "Oh, wait! I know!" Reaching inside his backpack, he produced the green plush doll from earlier. "Mr. Queasy to the rescue!"

"Can that work?" Bismuth whispered to Imperial, who merely shrugged doubtfully in response.

Carefully, Steven approached the pedestal. He gently placed Mr. Queasy on top of it, earning a "Kid, don't shake me!" from it. All of a sudden, a beam of light began to shine on it, causing it to float up in the air.

...Then, it exploded into a mess of stuffing.

The Gems screamed as the spire began to rumble and shake. The waterfall surrounding them began to get narrower and narrower, closing in on them.

"The spire is about to crumble!" Imperial pointed out just as it collapsed beneath them. They fell into the ocean, which by now had completely engulfed the spire.

Steven spluttered and coughed as he was dragged underneath the water's salty depths. This was it. This was the end...

Except, he could breathe.

He opened his eyes curiously to see that he was indeed still under the water, kicking his legs furiously to try to breach the surface. However, the more he did, the more he began to realize that he wasn't running out of air at all. He opened his mouth, and found that he was able to inhale perfectly fine. Just as he was about to try more, he felt somebody's arms wrap around him, and his head breached the surface of the water.

"Steven!" Bismuth said, holding him tightly in her beefy arms as she gasped for air. "Are you okay?"

"Yeah, I'm...fine, actually!" he said, his breathing still normal. Bismuth cocked her head.

"Yeah, you...you look fine, too. You aren't even wet...same for your clothes!"

Steven looked down in surprise. Sure enough, he was completely dry, and Bismuth's water-soaked arms weren't staining him at all.

"STEVEN! There you are!" Zircon cried suddenly as she and Imperial swam forward. "Are you okay? Are you hurt? Are you-" She paused, noticing the lack of water on him. Steven, taking her silence as negative, felt the need to apologize.

"I'm sorry! I didn't mean to destroy the spire! This is all my fault..."

Zircon blinked, then shook her head. "What? Oh, no, Steven! It's okay! The spire was already falling apart. Besides, you did great on the mission!"

"I...I did?"

"Yeah, totally!" Bismuth said. "Two out of four of your ideas worked! Fifty percent isn't bad at all!" Then, as if on cue, the raft from before floated up to them. "Heh, what do you know? The raft did come in handy after all!"

The Gems, including Steven, somehow managed to all squeeze onto the raft, settling down as comfortably as they could. It was just then that Imperial seemed to notice something.

"Steven?" she asked. "You aren't wet at all! How is this possible?"

Steven shrugged. "I don't know! When I was underwater, I was actually able to breathe just fine! Is this magical water or something?"

The Gems looked at him in shock. "Steven..." Zircon said, putting her hands on his shoulders. "Your mother had water powers, remember? She could breathe underwater, too! She was able to stay under as long as she wanted and come back up completely fine!"

Steven gasped, his eyes shining. "So I can just breathe underwater now? THAT'S SO COOL!" He held his backpack up in joy. "And I owe it all to you, cheeseburger backpack!"

Zircon and Bismuth laughed and began chanting. "Cheeseburger backpack! Cheeseburger backpack! Cheeseburger backpack!"

"Uh, guys?" Imperial asked. "How long will it take to get home?"

They all went silent. Zircon produced her screens again. "Well, uh, according to my calculations...based on our current coordinates..." She began typing, peering at each screen before making them disappear again. "Three...hours..." she muttered, exhausted.

"Oh." the other Gems responded. It was quiet for some time, until Steven spoke up.

"Hey!" he said, pulling a bagel sandwich out of his backpack. "Who wants some snacks for the trip?"

* * *

 **Ah, finally! This chapter is done! Sorry this one took a little while. I've been busy these past few days, what with the Fourth of July and all. But, hey! Steven has a new power! I'm assuming none of the other Gems can breathe underwater except for Lapis (and CG Garnet, because she was able to search underwater for Malachite, but I assume it has something to do with Sapphire's ice powers). After all, Amethyst and Pearl are seen gasping for air at the end of this episode.**

 **But anyway, next episode is Together Breakfast! We get to see the temple! Yaaay!**


	4. Together Breakfast

Steven awoke to bright, beautiful sunrise. The sky shone in brilliant shades of orange and yellow, glittering over the ocean. The light shone onto his face through the window, and Steven smiled as he got up and began to get ready for the day.

After getting dressed, he went downstairs and opened the window to get a closer view of the beach. He inhaled the clean morning air, and found himself wishing that he could share this moment with someone. He wondered where the Gems were.

"Looks like everybody's out..." he remarked to himself. Suddenly, an idea popped into his head. "Ooh, I can make us breakfast!"

He ran behind the counter and grabbed a box of waffles. After toasting four of them, he stacked them up on top of each other and slathered them with a generous helping of syrup. Within a few minutes, he had an appetizing plate of waffles placed delicately on plate.

Satisfied with his work, he walked up to the temple door in the back of the room and began to knock. "Zircon? Imperial? Bismuth? Is anyone home?" he called, but no response greeted him from the other side. _Hmm, they must be really busy..._ he thought. His eyes drifted back to the stack of waffles on the counter, and he got another idea.

He went back and grabbed three bags of popcorn kernels, shoving them in the microwave to pop. When they were finished, he poured them over the waffle stack. He licked his lips at the smell, but forced himself to go back to the Warp Pad. If they weren't in the temple, he reasoned, they must have been on a mission.

"One, two, three...warp in!" he said, raising his arms into the air. Nobody showed up. He sighed and flopped down on the floor. "Guess they're still out saving the world..." Once again, he found himself looking over at his waffles, and thought of another way to pass the time.

For the third time that morning, he went back behind the counter and snatched up a canister of whipped cream. Carefully, he sprayed some on top of the stack. He admired his work proudly.

"Look at you!" he said happily. "You are out of control!"

This time, he looked over at the door that lead outside, towards the beach. He approached it and stuck his head outside. "Zircon?" he shouted. "Imperial?" No response.

Sighing, Steven went behind the counter one last time. Grabbing a strawberry, he slowly and gently positioned it on top of the whipped cream. When he was finished, he held the plate up in triumph.

"It's DONE!" he said victoriously. He placed it back down and gazed at it longingly. "Man...this thing's too good to eat alone. It's more of a...'together' breakfast!"

Suddenly, a flash of light came from the back of the room, and Imperial Garnet stood on the Warp Pad. She had a rolled-up scroll in her hand, but she looked happy to see home again.

"Oh, hello, Steven!" she chirped. "How are you this morning?"

"Imperial~!" Steven cheered, running up to her with his plate in hand. "I'm doing fine, but check this out! I made it myself! It's not exactly healthy, but it's in a stack...so I guess you could say it's a... _balanced_ breakfast?" He gave her an odd grin, raising his eyebrows expectantly. Imperial tilted her head in confusion.

"I don't get it..." she said. Steven chuckled.

"That's okay! The point is, I made these waffles for all of us to eat together! It's a together breakfast!"

Imperial gasped. "That sounds lovely, Steven!" Then, seemingly remembering the scroll in her hand, her face fell. "Oh...but I'm afraid I can't eat it just yet. I have something very important I have to do first." The gem on the back of her hand and the one on the side of her leg began to glow, and the door to the temple opened.

Steven looked disappointed. "Aw, really? What is it?"

Imperial scratched her head and looked at the scroll, looking as if she was having a conversation with herself. Then, all of a sudden, she perked up. "Ah, yes! I have to burn this!" She unrolled it and showed it to him. It was a dark purple, and there appeared to be neon drawings of hands and eyeballs on it. Steven shuddered as he looked at it, and he could have sworn he heard dark whispering once it was unraveled.

"Wh-whoa..." he stuttered before his face lit up. "That is so cool!" He reached into his pocket and took out his phone, snapping a picture of it. Unfortunately, right after doing so, Imperial snatched the phone away. "Wha- hey!"

She looked at him sympathetically. "I'm sorry. I have to burn this, too." Before Steven could protest, she was already gone, disappearing into the temple. The door shut behind her, and he slammed his back against it, trying his best to open it with his gem.

"No, wait! My apps! Ughh, come on, gem! Open the door!" he grunted, rubbing the door furiously. Once it was made clear that it wouldn't budge, he groaned and slid down onto the floor. "You never work when I need you to..."

Suddenly, the door to the house swung open, and Bismuth burst in. She was wearing sunglasses and a fake police officer hat, and she was carrying a water gun in her arms.

"Freeze! This is the shorty police! I got a report of an extremely short little boy living in this house!" She held the water gun up and tried to aim it at Steven. "There you are!" she cried, pulling the trigger. However, her aim was wildly off, and the stream of water began shooting directly towards the waffles. Steven gasped.

"NOOOOOOO!" he screamed. He leaped in front of the waffle stack, spreading his arms out to protect it. The water splattered all over him, but he didn't get wet thanks to his powers.

Bismuth laughed and threw the sunglasses and hat to the side. "HAHA! You okay, little man? Sorry, I'm not used to wielding a weapon like this!" Steven ignored her, sighing in relief when he saw that the waffles were safe.

"Bismuth! You almost sprayed my-" Before he could finish his sentence, the temple door opened, and out stepped Zircon. Bismuth seemed to recognize the room that she came out of and looked surprised.

"Hey, that's my room!" she said as Zircon approached her crossly.

"Bismuth, what did you do with my book?" she snapped.

"What book?" Bismuth replied, confused.

"Don't tumble my rocks! You know what book I'm talking about! I lent you _Battles of the Ages_ two weeks ago, and you still haven't returned it!" the blue Gem exclaimed. Bismuth held up her hands defensively.

"I gave it back, remember? I came in your room just the other day and said, 'Hey, Zircon, thanks for the book!', and I put it back in the bookshelf where it belonged! You were already reading something else and writing notes or whatever, so I tried to be as brief as possible!"

Zircon went silent. She opened her mouth to retort, but then closed it again. "Huh. The other day...I was doing research on the most infamous intergalactic spacecraft thefts..."

"...And you asked not to be disturbed." Bismuth continued, crossing her arms. "I didn't want to interrupt you-"

"-Aaaand I was probably too caught up in my research to notice you." Zircon finished, rubbing the back of her neck sheepishly. "Eheheh...sorry, Bismuth. I guess I should have checked my own room first..."

Bismuth smiled and patted her shoulder. "Ahh, it's no problem, Z! We all make mistakes. Just never let your guard down! We could be ambushed one day, and we wouldn't want you with your nose in a book the entire time!"

Zircon blushed. "I don't put my nose in books! That would be very unsanitary and foolish!"

Bismuth laughed and waved a hand dismissively as she made her way to her room. "Yeah, I guess you're right! _Z_ you later, Zirc!"

"Bismuth, wait!" Steven said hurriedly, trying to run up to her, but she had already left through the temple door. He sighed and looked down at his waffles sadly.

"What's the matter, Steven?" Zircon asked as she approached the door.

"I made breakfast for everyone, but nobody wants to eat it with me!" the boy complained. Unfortunately, Zircon didn't seem to be paying attention, as the gem on her jugular began to glow, opening the door to her room.

"That's nice." she said, stepping briskly inside. Steven panicked, seeing that this was his only chance to get inside, and ran in after her.

"No, not you, too! I can't let this become together brunch!" he shouted. Once inside the room, however, he couldn't stop himself from looking around in awe.

Bookshelves lined the walls, and some were scattered on the floor, along with papers and notes. A large desk was placed on top of a wide podium, which was also littered with pens, pencils, papers, and of course, books. Two staircases on the left and right lead up to it, and there seemed to be a large, hollow tunnel in the middle.

Zircon was looking at each bookshelf quickly, and finally stopped at one particular book. "Ah, here it is!" she said, producing it swiftly. " _Battles of the Ages._ She did give it back. Hmm, I haven't read it in a while..."

"Hey, Zircon!" Steven said cheerily, startling her out of her fixation. She yelped, and some of the other books on the shelf fell to her feet.

"Steven?! What are you doing here?! You know how dangerous it is for you to be in the temple!"

Steven began walking forward despite her protests, carefully stepping over each book and paper he saw. "We are going to have a nice together breakfast, no matter what happens!"

"STEVEN, BE CAREFUL! YOU MIGHT-" Zircon screamed, but was cut off by Steven's own exclamation of surprise as he slipped on a piece of paper. His foot caught on a book as he tried to regain his balance, and his movements caused him to fall right down the tunnel below the podium. "STEVEN!"

Steven yelled as he slid down, trying desperately to keep his waffles on the plate. The slide made a lot of sharp twists, turns, and even loop-de-loops, but he held on.

Finally, he found himself plopping onto a hard stone floor with an " _oof!_ " Observing his surroundings, he noticed that the room was incredibly hot due to the lava pools that were scattered here and there. He felt incredibly relieved that the tunnel ended on the surface and not in one of them. Nearby, there were also a lot of exercise equipment, mostly weights of various sizes. They all looked way too big for Steven to carry, at least.

"Hey, was that a Steven I heard?" said a familiar voice. Steven turned around and saw Bismuth stepping out of one of the lava puddles. "It _was_! How'd you get in here, kid? This place isn't exactly safe for little meatballs like you."

Steven was relieved to see a friendly face. "I fell down from that huge tunnel in Zircon's room!" he replied. Bismuth chuckled.

"Her stuff's always falling down here. I keep telling her to clean her place up, but whenever she does, she makes a new mess five minutes later!" She picked Steven up effortlessly. "But this is the first time a person has ever fallen from that tunnel! You don't suppose she's keepin' a bunch of 'em up there, do you?" Both of them laughed, but Bismuth soon noticed the plate in Steven's hand. "Hey, what's that?"

Steven stopped, remembering his mission. "This is a together breakfast!" he said proudly. Bismuth reached out to take the plate from him.

"Huh! I guess I could use some food after a nice lava bath." She opened her mouth to eat the waffles, but Steven quickly snatched them back.

"No! You can't eat it now! All of us have to be here to eat it _together_. That's the essence of together breakfast."

Bismuth nodded in understanding. "Ohh, okay. Well, I don't really know where the others are...knowing Zircon, she's probably looking for you, and Imperial..." Her eyes widened. "Wait, Steven! We should go back to the house! Let's just wait for everybody to finish what they're doing and-"

But it was too late. Steven had already taken off cheerily as soon as she had explained where Zircon might have been. "We can't stop now!" he called back. "We have to find Zircon and tell her I'm okay so we can eat together! Then, all we have to do is find Imperial Garnet!"

Bismuth panicked and ran after him. "Steven, hold on! You really shouldn't be runnin' all willy-nilly through the temple, y'know!"

Steven didn't seem fazed by the concern in her voice. "It's okay! As soon as I find the others, we can all leave!" At this point, he had already ran across the room and towards another tunnel, which he started through briskly. Bismuth hurried after him.

"Steven, wait!" she yelled, ducking her head to fit inside. "The next room is-"

Before she could finish her sentence, Steven had already come to a halt. He was at the edge of a platform, and several floating ones acted as a bridge to the next hallway. He smiled at her reassuringly.

"Don't worry, I can make it! Watch!" He hopped onto the next platform, wobbling a bit before catching his balance. Bismuth felt like she could've had a heart attack if Gems actually had hearts. She crawled out of the tunnel as Steven hopped from platform to platform, trying carefully to hop after him without falling. When she had finally reached the end, she saw Steven clinging to a large, clear tube that went from the ceiling and down through a hole in the floor.

"Hey, wait a second!"

"STEVEN!" another voice shouted from the opposite side of the room. Zircon was also emerging from a tunnel, looking absolutely terrified.

"Zircon, sweet! Two out of three!" he cheered. Zircon and Bismuth exchanged worried glances.

"Steven, be very careful! That's the Crystal Heart!" Steven looked up and gasped. Attached to the tube was a large, heart-shaped structure with crystal "veins" going in various directions. He clung tightly to the vein he was holding on to.

"It's connected to the most dangerous areas of the temple! Oh no, oh no..." Zircon panicked, holding her hands out. "Look, just hold on tight, okay? Don't look down!"

Despite the warning, Steven couldn't help himself. He looked down at the hole that the vein lead into, getting a sinking feeling in the pit of his stomach. Without warning, he began to slide down, and he struggled to pull himself up.

"AAAH!" he screamed as he held on to the vein and his waffles for dear life. As he slid down, however, he soon found himself in a calm, blue room, filled with gentle waves and cerulean sand. "Oh, hey! This isn't so bad!" he said, admiring the scenery. Then, he continued sliding, and everything went darker. "NEVER MIND!" he shouted.

Before long, his sliding slowed, and the vein formed a curve that he was able to sit on. He looked around at where he was and saw bubbles with gems inside of them. When he looked down, he saw Imperial Garnet approaching a small pool filled with lava. This lava seemed different from how it was in Bismuth's room, though; It bubbled and hissed ferociously as Imperial came closer. In her hand was Steven's phone, which she broke in half and dropped into the magma below.

"Aww, man..." Steven said sadly.

She removed the rolled-up scroll from under her arm. Once again, her two gems began to glow as she lowered it slowly down. She looked like she was concentrating harder than Steven had ever seen her concentrate. What sounded like a shriek erupted from the scroll, and Imperial carefully raised it up and sealed it in a bubble as smoke began to arise from it. She heaved a sigh of relief.

Cautiously, Steven made his way down to the floor just as Bismuth and Zircon showed up quietly. "Steven, we're getting you out of here!" the blue Gem whispered. Steven smiled when he saw them.

"This is great!" he said. "We're all together! We can finally eat!"

Imperial turned around, hastily trying to force the smoke back inside the bubble as it attempted to leak out.

"I mean, we don't have any forks, but we can just use our hands! I'm not gonna judge!" Steven continued obliviously. Imperial looked at him nervously as she struggled to contain the smoke monster.

"Steven, is that you?" she asked. "Oh, I don't think you can be in here! You really should go!"

"Okay! Wanna meet in the kitchen?" Then, with a loud roar, the smoke burst forth from the bubble, extending in every direction. Steven gasped and backed up as one of the smoky tendrils reached towards him. The Gems (minus Bismuth, who transformed her arms into hammers) summoned their weapons.

"It's trying to escape!" Imperial said. "Quickly! Force it back!" She ran up to one of the tendrils and kicked it with one of her cleats, but it rose into the air to avoid her attack. It rushed towards Steven, but Bismuth slammed her arm down onto it.

"Get back!" she growled.

Zircon jabbed at the monster with her cane, causing it to shrink back. Imperial kicked at it again, but it was too late. It zoomed towards Steven at full speed, splattering into the waffles.

"STEVEN!" the Gems screamed in alarm. The smoke was absorbed by the waffles, and soon it was seemingly gone. Steven felt like his head was spinning from the force of the impact, but upon looking around, he didn't see the smoke monster. Unfortunately, as he looked down at his plate, the waffles began to gyrate and jiggle.

"Together breakfast?" he asked. Then, with a loud roar, the waffles grew in size, changing and morphing until it towered over him. Steven screamed.

Zircon threw her cane at the monster, but that didn't do much except turn its attention to her. The cane went straight through its "body" and stuck out the other end, but it didn't seem damaged at all.

"It's taken refuge in organic matter!" Zircon warned. A burst of syrup and whipped cream shot towards her, pinning her to a wall.

"Oh, dear! Now it has all the power of a breakfast!" Imperial said. "We must destroy it!"

"EUUGHH, IT'S HORRIBLE!" Zircon shouted in disgust as the gooey mass began to engulf her. The monster snapped her cane in half effortlessly.

Imperial tried kicking the thing, but her foot got stuck to the sticky syrup and cream. Bismuth tried to pull her out, but not even her immense strength could release her.

Meanwhile, from beneath the monster, Steven was struggling to hold the plate up to keep the creature from crushing him. "I...I didn't want this!" he wailed in distress. "I just wanted to eat together, like...like best buds!"

"Steven, please! Get away!" said Imperial as the monster began to envelope her leg.

"But, my breakfast...!" he protested. The creature fired a large waffle at the two Gems fighting it off, holding them against the wall as well. Seeing this, Steven's eyes began to widen, and his face contorted in anger.

"That's...ENOUGH!" With great force, he pushed the monster back by the plate. He forced it towards the lava pool with all of his might. "I...don't care if you... _urgh_!...Are the most important meal of the day!" The creature roared in agony as its body was pressed into the boiling hot lava. Steven held it down, determined to fix this mess. "I made you to bring us together! Not to tear us apart!" Finally, its body erupted in flames, and it evaporated without a trace.

Imperial kicked a hole in the waffle and climbed out from behind it, alongside Bismuth. Zircon managed to break through the goo that was holding her. As Steven panted, all three Gems walked up to the lava pool and watched the steam rise up from the newly-burnt together breakfast.

"I'm sorry, guys..." he said, glancing at each of them sadly. "I guess I dream too big."

* * *

Imperial put two waffles into the toaster and pressed them down. Bismuth put the bags of popcorn into the microwave. When the waffles popped up, Imperial put them on top of the second stack, and Zircon sprayed syrup in a detailed pattern all over both of them. The popcorn was soon dumped on top, as well as a large dose of whipped cream. Finally, Steven placed the strawberry on top, completing the creation.

"It looks great!" Steven exclaimed proudly. "It's even more together and even more breakfast!"

They all stared at the stacks of waffles, so intricately made that it was almost...intimidating. No one said or did anything.

"...I don't think I can eat this." Steven said plainly.

"You wanna order a pizza or something?" Bismuth asked. Steven and Zircon nodded in agreement and murmured their consent.

"Yeah, it _did_ try to kill us." Imperial said. Everyone gave her a blank stare.

And with that, the together breakfast was left alone, discarded on the counter.

* * *

 **Ahh, finally! Together Breakfast is done! I'm going to skip Frybo (my deepest apologies to dedicated fans of that episode) and move right on to Cat Fingers, because that episode actually features Steven finding out some more stuff about his powers. Sorry! Anyway, stay tuned!**


	5. Cat Fingers

It was another hot summer day in Beach City. The heat of the sun's rays seemed to bore down on the town relentlessly, forcing most of its citizens inside. However, despite the intensity of the heat, there were two residents who were very, very cool...literally.

Steven and Greg Universe were busy washing a large van in the latter's signature car wash. On its side were printed the words "Reelect Mayor Dewey," and a giant likeness of said mayor's face rested atop the car's roof. Both father and son were soaked as they sprayed the van with hoses, but their job was almost done.

"Steven, get those hubcaps!" Greg said, pelting the car with water. The boy nodded and did as he was told, scrubbing at them with a wet cloth.

"Hubbing it up!" he announced cheerfully. Greg smiled at his son's good mood.

"Be sure to hub it good! This job is very important."

"'Cause it's the mayor's election-mobile?" the boy inquired. Greg chuckled.

"Well, that and the possibility of getting political favors if we do this right!" he replied. Steven looked at him curiously.

"I have no idea what that means, but I like it!" With that, he picked up the hose and blasted the car with water yet again. All of a sudden, he slipped on the water beneath his feet, and the spray of water ended up hitting his dad. Greg spluttered, but quickly retaliated, and soon he and his son were engaged in a friendly water fight. They laughed happily, splashing and playing around with the water.

Their fun was cut short when a tall man in an uncomfortable-looking purple suit approached them, trying carefully to avoid being hit. "Hey, hey, hey!" He raised his voice in an attempt to sound authoritative. "I'm not paying for father-son bonding here!" He yelped in surprise as Steven cheekily sprayed him with the hose. He anxiously tried to wipe it off before shooting a stern glare at Greg. "Universe! Control your kid!"

Greg collected his bearings and scolded his son lightly with a call of his name. He grinned politely at the man. "Sorry, Mayor Dewey. This one's on the house, okay?"

Dewey raised his bushy eyebrows. "On the house, huh? Hm...I like the way you do business, Mr. Universe!" Adjusting his tie, he entered the van and pressed a button. Sirens on the roof of the vehicle began blaring, and a pre-recorded message started to play from a speaker in the shape of his own head.

"May-or Dew-ey! May-or Dew-ey!" the van droned as it drove away down the street.

Father and son stared after the vehicle until it began to fade away. Breaking the silence, Steven threw his hands in the air. "Political favors!" he yelled triumphantly.

Greg rolled his eyes playfully and scooped him up, ruffling his fluffy black hair. "Ah, you little rascal! Enough with the hose fights!"

Steven giggled and tried to wrestle himself free of his dad's grip. "Okay, okay! No more!"

Then, out of nowhere, a burst of water came forward and splashed them both. They stopped and looked around, confused, until their eyes rested on a most unusual sight.

Bismuth stood in front of them, her hand taking the form of an anvil. It lay on top of the hose, causing the back to become comically swollen with water. She smirked as she lifted her hand back up, causing an even bigger splash to soak them both.

Greg coughed and spluttered, trying to catch his breath. Steven, on the other hand, ran up to Bismuth eagerly. "That was so COOL!" he exclaimed, gazing at her arms as they returned to normal. "How do you do that, anyway?"

The taller Gem grinned and winked. "Trade secret, bucko! Though..." she leaned over him and examined the gemstone on his back. "You might be able to learn someday! After all, you got a gem!"

Steven's eyes sparkled. "Whoa...can you teach me?! I wanna be able to shapeshift like you!" Greg's head shot up.

"Whoa, whoa, whoa! Is this a magic thing? Should I leave? Is something gonna blow up?" he panicked as he wrung out his hair.

Bismuth chuckled and ruffled Steven's hair. "Don't worry, Greg! I'm at least 75% sure this won't end with an explosion."

Greg still looked uneasy, but a glance at his son seemed to reassure him a little. "It's okay, Dad! Bismuth knows what she's doing! Right, Bismuth?"

The rainbow-haired Gem elbowed him playfully. "Yeah, I guess you could say I know a thing or two about the shapeshifting _bismuth!_ " She held her hands up and pointed them like guns. Greg stared blankly at her.

"Yyyeaahh...well, if something goes wrong, odds are I'm not gonna know how to fix it, so I need you to promise to be _very careful_ with Steven. Okay?"

Bismuth nodded. "I understand, Greg. Besides, there should be nothing to worry about! I'm a pro at shapeshifting, so as long as Steven is with me at all times, everything will be fine!" She looked to her side as if to affirm this, only to discover that Steven wasn't there. "Uh...Stee-man?"

"WOOHOO!" the boy was cheering, already on his way back to the temple. "Shapeshifting, shapeshifting, shapeshifting!"

Greg narrowed his eyes, causing Bismuth the rub the back of her head sheepishly. "...From this point on, that is." she said.

* * *

Steven clapped excitedly at each new transformation Bismuth made. This time, she had taken on the form of a blue-gray jaguar with rainbow-colored spots.

"Ooh, do more! Do more!" he chanted as Zircon watched closely from the other end of the room. She had been asked to help monitor the situation as an extra precaution just in case anything went wrong, but so far nothing had happened except for Bismuth's continuous shapeshifting.

"Don't you think you might be overdoing it?" asked the blue Gem nervously. Bismuth (who had turned into three different varieties of animals during the entire time span it took to ask the question) stretched her falcon wings nonchalantly.

"Relax, Zirc. I'm obviously not going to teach him all of this stuff yet. I was just putting on a show for the little rascal!" She nuzzled her beak into his fuzzy hair.

"Well, show's over! Before you know it, it'll be three hours later and you still haven't taught him anything." She adjusted her monocle matter-of-factly. Bismuth sighed and turned back to normal.

"Eh, fine. But only because I missed being able to flex these babies." She held up her beefy arms proudly, causing Zircon to roll her eyes.

Steven turned towards her curiously. "Can you shapeshift too, Zircon?"

She swelled her chest out in pride and tapped her monocle, causing screens to appear before her. She flipped through them, showing pictures of random Gems changing their forms. "Well, of course I can! All Gems can shapeshift, Steven. We can also grow taller, shorter, and change certain parts of our bodies!" she explained.

Steven's eyes widened in awe. "I wanna try all of it!" He looked over at Bismuth, who had just transformed into Zircon. "Can you show me how to turn into a lion?"

Bismuth-Zircon put a hand to her chin in thought. "Well..."

The real Zircon interrupted anxiously. "Oh, no! That's a bit too dangerous right now! Besides, we don't even know if you can shapeshift at all yet!"

Bismuth nodded and reverted back to her normal form. "Z's got a point there, kiddo. Why don't we start with something small, like...a cat? Cats are basically tiny lions, right?"

Zircon fiddled with her neckerchief uneasily. "I-i don't know..." she stammered. "What if something goes wrong?"

Bismuth approached Steven and ruffled his hair. "Then I'll fix it. I promised Greg I'd watch over Steven for him, and that's what I'll do." She turned to him encouragingly. "What do you say, little buddy?"

Steven nodded eagerly. "Yeah, don't worry, Zircon! Bismuth knows everything about shapeshifting!" He looked up at her with starry eyes, and she smiled down at him warmly. Zircon sighed reluctantly and sat down to watch in silence.

"Okay, so you want to be a cat, right?" she asked, standing up straight and stretching. Steven followed her lead, albeit crudely, and affirmed her statement. "Alright. Just imagine what you want to be, relax, and soon..." Before long, she had taken the form of a small cat with rainbow stripes. "See?"

"Hmm..." Steven mumbled, closing his eyes and trying to concentrate. "I wanna be...a cat!" He opened his eyes and looked down at his body hopefully, but he was still the same. Bismuth watched him, the beginning of an idea forming in her mind.

"Maybe changing your entire body is too easy...why don't you try to change your hand or something, like me?" She changed back to normal and held out her arm, the hand replaced with an uncanny likeness of a cat's head. "Then, when you feel like you've got that down, you can try it with your entire body. How's that sound?"

"That's...actually a reasonable idea, Bismuth. I'm surprised!" Zircon commented.

"What? Aren't I always full of great ideas?" the muscular Gem countered, feigning shock. Zircon groaned and waved her hand dismissively.

Steven narrowed his eyes, trying to focus on his arm. "I just gotta...feel it..." he told himself, curling his hand into a fist. "Feeeeell itttt!" He pressed his other hand against the side of his head and rubbed at it with his fingers. "HAAAAH!" He opened his eyes triumphantly and looked down at his outstretched arm. His smile quickly faded when he realized that nothing had changed. "Aw, man..."

Bismuth patted him on the back consolingly. "Aw, cheer up, man! You can do it! You just gotta-" She stopped abruptly, staring down at his hand. Her mouth hung open, and Zircon gasped in shock.

"GREAT COMETS OF THE COSMOS, HE'S DONE IT!" she shrieked in disbelief. Steven gasped and held out his hand in front of him, only to be greeted by a...

" _Meow._ " said the tiny white cat head on the tip of his finger. Its nose twitched amiably as it stared up at him with beady eyes. Steven felt a wave of affection and elation at the sight.

"I...I did it!" he shouted victoriously. "I can shapeshift! I HAVE A CAT FINGER!"

"Well, whaddaya know!" Bismuth remarked, rubbing the cat's head with her large pinky. "This isn't what I expected!"

"Fascinating..." Zircon murmured once she had recovered from her state of shock. She leaned forward, examining the feline appendage with interest.

"This is so cool!" Steven exclaimed, watching the cat wriggle around. "I can't wait to show my dad!"

"Wait!" said Zircon. "Are you sure that's a good idea? You don't know how to control that thing! What if it kills you?!"

The cat mewed softly and nuzzled against another one of his fingers. Bismuth snorted.

"Oh, yeah, how will he ever survive without us?" she joked, elbowing Zircon teasingly. "Go ahead, Steven. Show your dad. What's the worst that could happen?"

Zircon looked indignant. "B-but what if-"

"WOOHOO! Cat finger!" cried Steven as he ran out the door. Zircon and Bismuth stared at him and then each other blankly.

"Huh. That's the second time he got away from me like that today. I hope I'm not letting my guard down too much." Bismuth said to herself. Zircon rolled her eyes.

* * *

Greg hummed to himself nonchalantly, taking a sip from his water bottle. The day was still warm, and not much had transpired since he had washed the mayor's car. Absentmindedly, he found himself wondering what his son was up to. He often worried about him, being his dad and all, but the Gems had graciously offered to take care of him once he was old enough. After all, a young boy couldn't spend his whole life living in a van, especially one with magical powers.

"Hi, Dad!" came a voice from behind. Greg smiled and turned around; surely, Steven had just finished his little shapeshifting stunt with Bismuth and was returning to-

"Hey. Stu-BaaaaAAAAAHHH!" Greg shrieked mid-sentence, the water bottle flying from his hand. Steven was holding up his index finger triumphantly, whereupon a small, white _cat_ was seemingly merged with his skin. It hissed when a drop of water from the bottle (which had landed on Steven) splashed onto it.

"Dad, check it out! I have a cat finger!" Steven said proudly. "I can shapeshift after all! Isn't it cool?!"

Greg put a hand over his chest momentarily as if to still his beating heart. "Y-yeah...cool..." He swallowed. "Is that just...a thing you can do now? It's not permanent is it?"

"Hmm..." Steven put a hand to his chin in thought. "Well, when Bismuth shapeshifts, her arms go back to normal, sooo...probably not!"

Greg sighed in relief. "Oh, thank goodness."

Steven seemed oblivious to his father's discomfort. "I can't believe I can really do it! I'm gonna take this show on the road!" The cat finger mewed loudly in response, almost as if it agreed. "Bye, Dad! Wish us luck!" Steven called as he walked away, the cat purring happily as he went.

For a moment, Greg stood there, frozen to the spot. No matter how many times he replayed the incident in his mind, he still couldn't wrap his head around it.

"...I'm getting too old for this." he murmured, picking up the now-empty water bottle with a groan.

* * *

"Okay, that'll be a dollar 'o five." Sadie said as she handed Steven his donut. The boy smiled eagerly and dug into his pocket.

"Okie dokie, Sadie! Here's a nickel..." In one hand, he produced a small coin. "And heeere's a buck!" With a flourish, he held up the dollar bill so that his cat finger was facing the counter. It meowed agreeably, and Sadie and Lars gasped.

"Whaaaat?!" they cried in unison. Lars looked considerably freaked out, but Sadie tentatively stuck out a finger to pet it. It purred and rubbed against her, causing her heart to melt.

"Oh, Steven! It's adorable!" she cooed affectionately. "Are you making it purr?"

"Actually, it just kinda does what it wants!" Steven informed as the kitty gave Sadie's finger a tentative lick. Lars leaned forward.

"R-really?" he asked, cautiously sticking out his finger. The cat sniffed it with disdain and bit it haughtily, causing Lars to shriek and retract it quickly.

"Hey! Bad cat finger!" Steven scolded. The cat simply hissed at Lars in response.

"Ohh, I'm sure it just wants to play!" Sadie said reassuringly as she tried to inspect Lars' finger. He held it away from her and wiped it on his shirt. Steven gasped.

"You could be right! He doesn't have any friends!" he exclaimed, looking down sadly at the feline. Lars rolled his eyes.

"Gee, I wonder what _that's_ like." he murmured sarcastically. Sadie gave him a concerned look, and he blushed and quickly waved his hands. "N-not that I know! I'm just saying, b-because I have _so many-_ "

But Steven wasn't listening. He closed his eyes and concentrated, trying to recreate how he felt back at the temple before the first cat finger appeared. When he opened his eyes, he saw Lars and Sadie gazing at him in a mixture of horror and amazement. Four more cats of different colors had now replaced the rest of his fingers on his right hand, mewling and wriggling impatiently.

"Yeah, that's more like it!" Steven said, completely oblivious to his friends' terror. "Come on, you guys! Let's go out on the town!" Confidently, he strutted out the door and began walking down the boardwalk, Lars and Sadie watching him the whole time.

"...He...forgot his order..." Sadie realized, looking down at the donut on the counter. Lars immediately grabbed it.

"Well, that's too bad! Guess we're gonna have to stay here!"

Normally, Sadie would have objected to her coworker's cowardice, but remembering the squirming mass of cat fingers made her shudder in unease. With a sigh, she nodded and stuck her hand out. Reluctantly, Lars gave her the donut, and she took a slow, tired bite.

* * *

"Here we are, guys! Shh!" Steven whispered to the cats as he approached Fryman's store. Smiling, he approached the young blond boy behind the counter and slammed his normal fist down. "Heya, Peedee! Gimme the bits!"

Peedee, Fryman's son, seemed less agreeable than his father. "Steven, we have an actual menu, you know. Could you please use it for once?"

Steven began chanting insistently. "The bits! The bits! The bits!"

"Just give him what he wants, Peedee. It'll be over sooner that way." Fryman said from the kitchen. Peedee sighed and turned to retrieve them, but Steven interrupted.

"Oh, they're not for me! They're for..." Triumphantly, he held up his feline-covered fingers. "These guys!"

Fryman yelped as Peedee slowly passed the fry bits over, open-mouthed. Steven dunked his fingers into the bits, and the cats ate up hungrily.

"I can't look away..." Fryman whispered in awe. Peedee just stared, transfixed.

"Steven, that is _freakish._ " he said. Steven smirked proudly.

"No, it's not! It's natural! Watch!" He held up his other hand, forcing his mind to concentrate and his body to relax. "Shake itttt...out!"

In one swift motion, all of Steven's fingers on his other hand were replaced with even more cats. They moved together in a wriggling group, mewing in unison.

"Whoa!" Fryman and Peedee exclaimed in a combination of terror and amazement. From inside, a loud gasp sounded.

"Steven!" cried an older teenage boy with curly blond hair. He dropped the potatoes he was carrying and darted over to the counter. "What is THAT?"

Steven beamed proudly. "Oh, nothing much, Ronaldo. Just some hot shapeshifting action!" He held up his cat fingers for emphasis.

Ronaldo dug into his pocket and produced his phone, snapping a picture of Steven's hands. "I gotta post this to my blog, Keep Beach City Weird!"

Steven's eyes lit up. "I'm gonna be on the internet?! Cool!" Eagerly, he extended his hands. "Can I see the picture?"

Ronaldo nodded and handed the phone over. Unfortunately, as soon as it made contact with Steven's fingers, the cats hissed and growled in protest. The phone dropped to the wooden ground of the boardwalk harshly.

"Yikes!" Steven cried, unsure how to comfort the cats without getting them even more riled up. He grimaced apologetically at the Fryman family. "Sorry, guys. I guess cat fingers don't really function well as...fingers. Huh."

He looked down at the felines sadly, watching them gradually collect their bearings. He felt the urge to pet them, but realized that he could not. Sighing, he turned around dejectedly and walked back to the temple.

* * *

Steven grunted in frustration as he tried to carry the plate out of the refrigerator. On it was a delicious-looking sandwich that made his stomach growl. Sadly, the cat fingers were protesting heavily at the weight of the food.

"Uggh, I'm just trying to get a snack!" Steven groaned, shutting the fridge's door with his foot. With some effort, he managed to put the plate on the counter. Just as he was debating how to eat it, however, he heard a voice from behind him.

"Hey, Steven!" Bismuth called as she entered the beach house. "How ya doin'?"

Steven shrieked and stuffed his hands in his pockets. "Oh, uh, I'm just fine! Nothing to worry about!"

Bismuth cocked her head, the sound of furious growling reaching her ears. "What's that noise?"

"Hahaha, what noise? I don't hear a noise!" Steven insisted, but Bismuth was unconvinced. She narrowed her eyes and slowly walked forward.

"Come on now, Steven, let me see."

"No! There's nothing to see, everything is ju-" Before he could finish his sentence, his cat fingers interrupted, growling and hissing at Bismuth as she leaned forward. They seemed to lunge out of Steven's pockets on their own, with no input from the boy they were attached to.

"Whoa!" Bismuth exclaimed, taking a step back. "You made more?"

Steven panicked. "I-I didn't mean to! ...Okay, I did, but I had a really good reason! Everybody thought they were so cool, and I couldn't just leave 'em hanging!"

"Well, do you know how to change back?" Bismuth asked, concern in her eyes.

Steven looked back and forth between both of his hands. He closed his eyes and tried to concentrate like before, willing his body to change back to normal. Finally, after a minute of quiet contemplation, he opened his eyes in triumph...

...Only to see that the cat fingers were still there.

"Ahhh, it's not working!" Steven cried. "How do I get it to stop?! What do I do?!"

Bismuth's face fell. "St-stay calm! Zircon and Imperial Garnet are outside, maybe they'll know what to do!" Hurriedly, she scooped Steven up in her arms (much to the vocal displeasure of the cats) and rushed outside towards the ocean.

Imperial and Zircon appeared to be preparing some sort of boat for sea travel. It looked as if it were made of blue crystal, and Steven wondered how it was managing to stay afloat.

"Hey! It's an emergency!" Bismuth called, plopping Steven on the ground in front of them.

Imperial Garnet gasped. "Oh my, Steven! You've transformed your fingers into cats!"

"What?!" cried Zircon. "I thought you only had one!"

Steven looked down, ashamed. "I did, but then I kinda...added some more..."

Zircon shot an annoyed glance in Bismuth's direction. "Bismuth, I blame you for this."

The muscular Gem groaned and rubbed at her face. "That's fair..." she grumbled.

"But we can't help Steven!" Imperial interjected. "We have to take the Gem Sloop out to sea to fight a living island, right?"

Steven gasped. "That sounds so cool! I wanna come, too!"

Bismuth gave uncertain looks at each of her teammates. "Can he do that?"

"Hmm...I don't see why not!" Imperial said after thinking it over.

"No! He has to change back before things get worse!" Zircon protested. "Who knows what will happen if he tries to fight in this condition?! You know what happens when a Gem stays shapeshifted for too long!"

Steven's pupils shrunk in fear. "Wh-what happens?"

Imperial opened her mouth to respond, but Bismuth held up a hand to stop her. "Nothing's gonna happen to you, Steven! We just need to get you to change back, and then we can all go and fight a giant moving island-monster thing together."

Zircon fiddled with her neckerchief nervously. "But there's no time! If we don't go and intercept the island now, it'll make it to Beach City and crush everything!"

"Oh, what do I do?" Steven mumbled sadly. "I don't wanna have cat fingers forever! It was cool for the first couple minutes, but now the novelty is really wearing off!"

Zircon bent down and put her hands on his shoulders. "Steven, whatever you do, _stay calm._ We'll fight the island and be back as soon as we possibly can, okay? In the meantime, stay in the house. Don't go anywhere, don't do anything too strenuous. Can you do that?"

Steven swallowed hard. Everyone was looking at him intensely; even Imperial seemed distressed. He didn't want to upset his family.

Sucking in a deep breath, he nodded.

* * *

Steven had been sitting on the couch for nearly three hours now. The sky outside was completely dark, and the cats were caterwauling in boredom. He had been remaining stationary, too afraid to make even the slightest move. He tried talking to them in an attempt to console them, but stopped when his words proved useless.

Finally, he let out a frustrated groan. "Why did I have to give myself cat fingers?! I want Steven fingers!" He paused, raising his eyebrows in alarm. "A-and I don't mean little me-heads on fingers, I mean REGULAR fingers!"

He scrunched his eyes shut once more, trying desperately to will away the horrible abominations that now occupied his hands. He imagined them disappearing, vanishing out of existence like the bubbles that the Gems always sent to the burning room. He imagined them all disintegrating, leaving him alone once and for all...

...And then he felt a _pop_ on the side of his head.

Opening his eyes with a gasp, he could just barely see a squirming, wriggling cat's face in his peripheral vision. On instinct, he leaped from the couch with a cry.

"AAAH! STOP!" he shrieked, losing his balance and falling to the ground. To his horror, another cat had replaced his right hand completely. He struggled to stand up, but a cat on his right foot caused him to wobble and fall again.

"B-bismuth! Zircon! Imperial!" he cried in agony. He felt his jeans tear above his knee, and a whining kitty began moving its head around. As he stared up at the ceiling, his mind racing, a single thought popped into his head. There was still one person who could save him, one person who never failed to come through for him before.

"DAD!" Steven screamed, dragging himself across the floor. As the pain of shapeshifting began to increase, he moved forward with all of his might.

* * *

Greg hummed to himself as he prepared to close up shop. Aside from the mayor's visit, it had been a rather uneventful day at the car wash. He had headphones over his ears, music playing from an old MP3 player in his pocket. He was so caught up in his tunes that he didn't realize that the hose he was holding was still running, spraying water onto the ground. He didn't think anything could possibly deter him from-

"DAAAAAD!"

Greg's eyes snapped open. "Steven, is that you?" he called out, putting his headphones around his neck. He turned his head, trying to look for his son, but the only thing he saw was the darkness of the night beginning to fall on Beach City...and a horrible mass of cats painstakingly crawling towards him.

With a scream, Greg stumbled back and shot his hose at the creature without thinking. It propelled it backward, but he immediately stopped upon seeing his son's face among the horrific amalgamation of felines. "Steven?!"

"Dad!" Steven said, tears running down his face. "Please, you have to help me! The cat fingers are taking over my body!" He let out a scream of pain as more cats began to spawn on him, letting out cries that could barely be classified as meows.

Greg stood, frozen in fear and confusion, but he quickly snapped out of it. "Hold on, I'll get you out of there!" he said, running up to his son. Panicking, he reached a hand out in an attempt to pry the ugly growths off of him. He didn't get very far, however, as one of the cats viciously bit into his hand and flung him away with its strong jaws.

"DAD! NO!" Steven screamed, the cats lurching and propelling him away. As he stumbled into a puddle, their fur bristled all at once, and he found himself jumping onto the roof.

"C-can't you make them go away?!" Greg asked in fear. "The Gems can do that, right?!"

"I tried, but that made it worse!" Steven responded. As more cats began to pop up through his skin, he found it increasingly difficult to hold on. "M-my life is over! I can't go on magical adventures anymore! I can't even open the fridge! And I'll never be able to have another water fight with you, Dad, because these things hate..." Suddenly, an idea formed in his mind with amazing clarity. "WATER! They hate water! Dad, spray me again!"

Greg, tears welling up in his eyes, looked away as he shot the hose at Steven. The burst of water sent the boy tumbling down, angering the cats. They attempted to charge at Greg, but Steven held them back with all his might.

"It's not enough!" said Steven. "Quick, Dad! You have to use the super-wash!"

Greg nearly dropped the hose in shock. "N-no! It's too dangerous!"

"You have to! I'm a monster! An adorable cat monster!"

"No you're not! You're my son, and I can't lose you!" sobbed Greg, burying his face in his hands. "I already lost your mother!"

"You won't lose me, Dad! You just have to trust me!" Steven pleaded, forcing himself to move toward the entrance to the car wash.

Greg stared at him reluctantly. It pained him to watch his son suffer, but he knew he had only one choice. Sucking in a deep breath, he went behind the car wash's controls and turned them on.

As soon as Steven entered, he was blasted with water from all of the jets. They hit every side of him, causing the cats to recoil in anguish. As he passed through the brushes, he felt the cats mold and shift, some of them being crushed into nonexistence. More water jets blasted him, and he felt more of them dissolve under the acid-like bursts of liquid.

Finally, Greg saw a burst of water vapor erupt from the exit. He aimed his hose, ready to fire if necessary. Much to his relief, Steven was lying on the ground, not a single cat protruding from him anymore.

Steven looked up at his father weakly and smiled. His clothes were torn in many places, he was exhausted, and he wanted to go home, but he felt immensely grateful.

"Dad..." he mumbled, weakly pushing himself up. "We did it."

Suddenly, they both yelled in surprise. There was still one more cat finger resting on Steven's index. Greg furiously sprayed it with the hose, and it too disappeared without a trace.

* * *

The next morning, Steven was kicking his feet against the ocean when the Gem Sloop pulled up to the dock. Zircon was the first to leap forward and inspect his arm.

"Steven, hold still! Where is it?!" She scanned both of his hands, but was shocked to find that they were completely devoid of cats. "They're...gone?"

Steven grinned. "Yep!"

Zircon sighed and rubbed her forehead as if she had finally been relieved of a migraine. "Oh, thank the stars. This is why you should always listen to me and never listen to Bismuth."

The aforementioned Gem had now scooped Steven into a hug, laughing. "That's fair!" she said, nuzzling the boy's head affectionately.

"I think," Imperial Garnet spoke up, "you should have a little more faith in Steven!"

Though the comment clearly wasn't meant as an offending one, Zircon felt her face heat up in embarrassment. Bismuth snickered at the look on her face.

"Yeah," Steven spoke up, "that could have been a total CATastrophe!"

Zircon groaned and rolled her eyes at the pun, while Bismuth simply played a long and laughed. Imperial just stood there, looking confused.

"But I'm feeling much better MEOW!"

Bismuth's chuckle lessened. Zircon facepalmed. Imperial still didn't know what was going on.

"Hey, what's the matter? CAT got your tongue?" Steven continued, wiggling his eyebrows.

Imperial frowned. "I don't get it." she said. Without another word, she and her companions walked away. Bismuth simply plopped Steven on the ground.

"Hey, wait! Don't go! I'm FELINE fine! Everything is just PURRfect! I'm just KITTEN with ya!" He ran after them eagerly, making cat jokes as he went.

* * *

 **AAAAAA FINALLY IT'S BEEN FOREVER**

 **SORRY I HAVEN'T BEEN UPDATING GUYS, BUT HERE HAVE MY TAKE ON THIS INCREDIBLY DISTURBING EPISODE**

 **lol but seriously, it was fun writing this! I really liked describing how creepy the cats were. I got serious horror vibes from this ep and horror is one of my favorite genres, so I tried to emulate it when writing them.**

 **Once again, sorry for taking so long! Next episode is Bubble Buddies, which means the introduction of Connie...and a new power for Steven! Stay tuned!**


	6. Bubble Buddies

The sunrise had finally crept just over the top of the temple by the time Steven raced out of the house. Eagerly, he pulled his new bike alongside him, helmet strapped firmly onto his head. He had special plans for today, and he could hardly wait to get to the beach and-

His train of thought was suddenly interrupted by a loud, earth-shaking rumble that nearly sent him tumbling down the stairs. He tried to grab his bike, but it slid down towards the sand where the rest of the Crystal Gems just happened to be walking.

"I'm telling you, they're not earthquakes!" Zircon was explaining to her friends. "These are way too frequent."

Before she could continue, the bicycle landed right in front of them, Steven following close behind. Bismuth laughed and raised an eyebrow. "Hey, Stee-man! What's with the sweet ride?" she asked.

Steven blushed and hefted the bike back up. "Oh, uh...I just thought it would be a fun idea to try this thing out!"

"In the sand?" Zircon said quizzically.

"...Yep!" Without any further explanation, Steven picked up the vehicle and ran farther down the beach.

When he was far enough away, he planted his bike down and attempted to pedal forward. However, the sand greatly hindered his movement, and he struggled to move forward. He grunted and pushed hard with his feet, only to stop upon noticing somebody sitting beneath the shady cliffside.

It was a girl, and she appeared to be at least a year younger than him. Despite this, she was tall, and she had fair dark skin and hair. Her eyes, shielded by pink glasses, did not stray from the book she was reading as Steven stared at her in awe.

He had seen her before, but he had always felt too nervous to approach her. Now, with great effort, he forced himself to pedal harder and parked his bike some distance in front of her.

"Wow, this is some smooth ride!" he remarked, glancing over at her to see if she noticed. She gave no indication that she even knew he was there. "F-five speeds..." Again, his head turned toward her in-between each phrase. "Hand brakes...electric-blue finish...a tiger bell!" To prove his point, he gave said bell a little ring. The girl remained absorbed in her book.

"Yeah, I bet there are a lot of kids who'd love to ride this-" He stopped mid-sentence, attempting to mount his bicycle again. Instead, he fell onto the sand with a yelp, not noticing the stand still holding the bike upright.

Groaning, he scrambled back up, his heart sinking when he saw the girl's eyes now staring at him in surprise. He could feel the red burning at his cheeks as he threw his helmet to the ground and ran away in shame.

"AAHHH!" he yelled, slamming the door to the beach house shut. Panting in exhaustion and embarrassment, he saw the other three Gems standing by the window. They, too, were looking at him inquisitively.

"...What up?" he said, trying to act casual.

A faint smile crept its way onto Zircon's face. "Who were you talking to?" she asked.

Steven chuckled nervously and scratched the back of his head. "Wh-what do you mean?"

Imperial Garnet looked particularly excited. "That girl down on the beach!" she said. "The one that you fell off your bike in front of, remember?" Bismuth elbowed her lightly with a snicker.

"Oh! Well, uh, she's just...a girl I know! I mean, we've never talked, so she doesn't really know me, but-"

Bismuth burst into laughter, stooping down to give him a teasing noogie. "Oooh, do you _liiiike_ her?" she teased.

Steven struggled to push her hand away and rubbed his arm. "I like everyone!" he protested.

"We should set up a playdate!" Zircon gasped, flipping through her screens. "Yes, we can make a schedule and send out an invitation...is she old enough to drink coffee? Maybe we should settle for tea..."

Imperial quickly interrupted, clapping her hands together happily. "Steven, I think you should just talk to her!" she said confidently. "Trust me, I'm sure it'll work!"

"Really?" Steven asked, looking out the window again. The girl was still reading calmly, as if nothing had ever happened. Sucking in a deep breath, he nodded. "Okay! But, uh...don't watch me. It'll mess with my funky flow."

Bismuth and Zircon looked confused, but Imperial saluted dutifully. "I have no idea what that means, but don't worry! We won't watch!"

The other two Gems didn't object to Imperial's suggestion, though they looked slightly disappointed. Steven inhaled resolutely, marching over to the freezer and opening it. He peered inside (briefly reminiscing on the lack of Cookie Cats) and pulled out a mysterious glowing bracelet.

"Isn't it a little early to be proposing?" Bismuth teased, earning a harsh nudge from Zircon. Steven's face went red as he raced out the door, clutching the bracelet to his chest.

"Okay...'hi, my name is Steven!' No, no, too casual..." Steven murmured to himself shyly. "'Hi, my name is...Stee-ven.' Nah...'hi, my name is Stee-van?'"

He felt the knots in his stomach tightening as he drew closer, the girl turning a page in her book absentmindedly. All of a sudden, the ground began to rumble yet again. Steven stumbled, nearly falling on his face for the second time that morning. His eyes widened in terror as a bit of rock began to crumble from the shade of the cliff that the girl was sitting beneath. Without thinking, he rushed to push her out of the way.

"Hi, my name is Steven!" he shouted, squeezing his eyes shut. He felt a tingling sensation on his back, where his gem resided, and in a flash everything went blue.

When he opened his eyes, he saw the girl looking bewildered beneath him. He heard what sounded like a crash from above and looked around. To his surprise, they were surrounded by a clear blue bubble, shimmering against the rays of the sun.

"Whoa..." Steven mumbled. "Did I do that?" Then, finally remembering who he was with, he turned to her and said, "Oh, hi! My name is Steven!"

The girl adjusted her glasses breathlessly, confusion etched across her face. "I'm...Connie..."

Getting up, Steven reached out a hand to help her to her feet. The bubble that they were in seemed to be made out of water, but for whatever reason, neither of them were wet. Connie stared at the liquid walls in amazement. "What happened?"

"Oh! I'm magic! Well, uh, half-magic. On my mom's side." Steven explained, turning around and pulling down his tank top to show her his gem. Her eyes widened.

"Doesn't that hurt?" she asked incredulously. Steven shrugged.

"Eh, it doesn't really feel like anything. But, uh..." He surveyed the bubble, scratching his head. "I guess this felt kinda weird."

"You made this?" Connie said, still in a state of disbelief. Steven laughed nervously.

"Apparently! I'm, uh, a member of the Crystal Gems! We live on the beach, and we fight monsters and protect humanity and stuff."

"Oh." said Connie, trying to find some way to connect everything to normalcy. "That's kinda like my dad. He's a cop...or, well, a private security guard."

Awkward silence permeated the bubble. Steven rubbed his foot into the watery ground.

"So...how long does this usually last?" Connie finally asked.

Steven blinked before realizing what she meant. "Oh! Right!"

He grunted and strained, trying his hardest to make the bubble go away. Sweat dripped down his forehead the harder he concentrated, but to no avail. The bubble remained, much to his dismay.

"What's wrong?" asked Connie.

"It doesn't seem to want to go away." Steven replied sheepishly.

"Oh..." Connie examined her surroundings. "Well, this thing is made out of water, right? Can't we just walk out of it?" Tentatively, she tried to stick her hand into the watery walls of the bubble, but it didn't come out through the other side. Though it was made of water, it felt solid, like an actual barrier.

Steven blushed nervously. This was bad. This was very, very bad. He was trapped in a bubble that he somehow created with a pretty girl he barely knew and he didn't know how to make it go away.

As always, he tried to look on the bright side. "Well, maybe the Gems will know what to do! Our house is just around the corner!"

With effort, he tried to roll the bubble away. Soon, Connie joined him as they set off in the direction of the temple. Steven tried to make conversation.

"So, I don't see you around that often!"

"My dad works for a bunch of different beaches. We're usually never in the same place for very long."

"Well, I go on adventures with the Gems sometimes! They usually say it's too dangerous for me, though." He stumbled clumsily, but managed to prevent himself from falling again.

"Do you always go in a bubble?" Connie inquired. Steven rubbed his head sheepishly.

"No, this is new. I didn't even know I could do this, actually." He broke into a smile as he saw the temple in the distance. "Hey, look! That's where I live! Don't worry, the Gems will know what to do!"

He and Connie pushed with all their might, but the sandy slope leading up to the beach house made it impossible for them to reach the door. Whenever they made any sort of progress up the steep dune, gravity would force them back to where they started.

"Aww, man!" Steven groaned. Cupping his hands around his mouth, he attempted to call to them. "Hey, guys! Can you hear me? We're kinda stuck over here!"

Silence was their only response. In a fit of realization, Steven slapped his hand to his forehead. "Darn it! I told them not to watch!"

"We can just wait here until they come out." Connie suggested.

"I don't know..." Steven said doubtfully. "They're usually gone for a long time. But don't worry! I have other friends who can help!" Encouragingly, Steven pushed the bubble in the opposite direction and motioned for Connie to join him. He didn't know how long they were going to be stuck like this, but at least he could show her around town.

Hesitantly, she followed suit.

* * *

Sadie grunted in frustration as she banged the hammer hard onto the bubble. The only thing she got in return was a splash in the face.

Meanwhile, Lars was trying (and failing) to stifle his laughter. "Steven, what did you _do?_ " he asked. "Is this some kinda magic love bubble or something? Do you do this to every girl you meet?"

"That's Lars," Steven explained to Connie. "He's my BFF."

The girl tilted her head in confusion. "Are you sure about that?"

Lars was now abandoning all attempts at containing himself, laughing uncontrollably. Sadie glared at him, annoyed.

"Lars, stop being a jerk and help!" she scolded angrily. Lars wiped a tear of mirth from his eye.

"What? I'm just trying to help Steven on his date!"

"You're embarrassing him!" Sadie exclaimed, pointing at Steven.

The boy blinked, not paying too much attention to the conversation. "What?"

"Oh, come on, Sades, he's fine!" Lars said, recovering.

"No, he's not! He's trapped in a BUBBLE!"

"Well, what can we do about that?! I don't know anything about this magic stuff!"

As the two bickered and argued, Steven continued making conversation. "He and Sadie run the Big Donut right over there. They're like the sacred guardians!"

Connie blinked. "Do they...get along?"

The two couldn't hear the coworkers' argument very well through the bubble, but they could tell it was getting heated by the way Sadie shoved Lars aside.

"They're crazy about each other!" said Steven obliviously, smiling at the thought of them together.

With a tired sigh, Sadie trudged back into the donut shop. "Just wait here. I'm gonna try something else. If YOU want to help, be my guest."

Steven went on without a hitch. "Anyway, I come here almost every day! They make the best donuts!"

"Oh, my parents don't let me eat donuts." Connie said sadly. "They say they have too many trans fats."

"Whaaaat?!" Steven exclaimed in horror. "It's still a cool place to hang out, though!" Blushing, he averted his gaze before adding, "Actually, if you want to, maybe we cou-"

He was cut off by a drop of water falling from the watery ceiling and onto his head. They both looked up in confusion, only for another drop to land on one of Connie's glasses lens.

"Oh, sorry!" Steven panicked. "I swear, I'm not doing this!"

"It's okay," Connie murmured, wiping the glasses on her dress. "I just hope it doesn't continue doing this. My parents will be so mad if I get my clothes all wet."

Steven opened his mouth to apologize again, but his attention was stolen by a loud war cry from the Big Donut. Sadie was charging toward them, raising a stool high above her head. With a shout, she smashed it against the bubble, only for the chair to break into pieces.

"Um..." Steven said nervously. "Maybe we should go somewhere else."

* * *

Steven and Connie rolled along the pier, stopping when they reached a cluster of boats. They were all lined up neatly against the docks, each one a unique size. Connie seemed excited when she saw them.

"Whoa, look! There's a trawler, and a little skip-jack!"

Steven smiled in awe. "Whoa, you know a lot about boats!"

Connie laughed. "Haha, I guess! That's just what happens when you...hang out at the beach all day...and don't swim...and don't have friends..." She trailed off suddenly, a disappointed look crossing her face. "You just look at boats."

Steven felt a pang of pity for her. Spending every day alone? He thought boats were cool, but having nothing to do but stare at them all day must really suck. He opened his mouth to reply, but his gaze was quickly averted by a small, pale child with a tuft of blond hair.

"Oh, hey, Onion!" he called out, catching the younger boy's attention. Onion said nothing, merely waving in response. "We need a harpoon gun!"

Connie's eyes widened in horror. "What?!"

Steven smiled at her reassuringly. "It'll pop the bubble!"

Connie began to sweat nervously. "Can't we just go back to your house?"

"It's okay, I'm a Gem! We'll be fine!" Turning back to Onion, he tried his best to make his request audible. "Onion, we need a harpoon gun! Understand? HAR-POON GUN!"

Onion said nothing. His beady little eyes stared blankly at Steven as he shoved popcorn into his mouth.

The black-haired boy put a hand to his chin in thought. Then, another drop of water plopped onto his head. He looked down at his feet, and to his surprise, the water had begun to pool around their ankles. Connie seemed concerned, but Steven got an idea.

He bent down and raised his hands just above the water. "Harpoon gun!" Steven said again, moving his right hand along the surface as if it were a boat. His left hand sprung up, and he made a roaring noise to go along with it. He pointed his right index finger at it and made a firing sound, causing the "sea monster" to sink into the depths below.

Onion looked completely clueless. Steven sighed, but Connie put a hand on his shoulder and stepped forward. "Wait."

Steven watched in awe as Connie began moving her own hands, but in a much more complex pattern. Onion's eyebrows raised upon seeing the movements, his eyes shining in comprehension. He nodded silently and gave a simple thumbs-up before running off.

"Whoa..." said Steven. "What did you do?!"

Connie shrugged. "Sign language. I learned some from my mom. She's a doctor, and sometimes she works with mute or deaf patients. She thought it would be useful to teach me."

Steven's eyes sparkled. "That's so cool! I didn't know Onion could speak sign language, and I've lived here my whole life!" _Then again, there's a lot of stuff I don't know about Onion..._ he thought, shuddering.

Connie blushed at the admiration. "W-well, I don't know a whole lot. Just enough to explain that we needed something from that boat to pop the bubble."

Steven laughed appreciatively. Maybe when he and Connie were free, she could teach him how to-

The blare of a boat's horn sounded loudly, interrupting his train of thought. Onion aimed the newly-found harpoon gun straight at the bubble. Steven and Connie yelled and tried to move out of the way as Onion pulled the trigger.

Unfortunately, things took a turn for the worse. Instead of popping the bubble, the harpoon merely bounced off of it. It flew back, embedding itself into a nearby boat. Steven and Connie watched in horror and disappointment, their hearts sinking along with the trawler.

* * *

It was getting harder to push the bubble. The water was up to their knees, and the occasional droplets that fell from the ceiling were becoming more frequent. Connie tried to hide her face behind her hat as they traversed the amusement park, noticing the odd stares people were giving them.

"Steven, what are we doing at..." She glanced up briefly to read the name of their location on one of the signs. "'Funland?'"

Steven smiled at her. "Tons of horrible accidents happen here every day!" he explained. "There's gotta be something around here that can break this bubble!"

Connie felt her face go pale. She opened her mouth to protest, but Steven's attention was already on a large roller coaster in front of them.

"Here we go! This is perfect!" he said cheerfully. "All we gotta do is roll onto the tracks, and once the carts hit us, we'll be free!"

Connie swallowed hard. "B-but what will happen after the bubble pops?"

"We'll be free!" Steven obliviously replied. Connie stared at him in complete shock.

"Steven, this is a bad idea!" she said firmly. "We have to turn around and find some-" She was cut off by a much bigger drop of water splashing between them. It was almost at waist-length now.

"Don't worry!" Steven said confidently. "This will work!" Suddenly, another loud rumble caused them to lose their balance. They were sent rolling along the tracks, crying out in alarm. Water splashed about, soaking their clothes even more.

Connie had never been on a roller coaster before, much less a waterslide, but the rush of speed and water made her stomach churn. Steven seemed just as terrified. A cart was coming their way, and both of them closed their eyes in anticipation.

However, the cart did not pop the bubble. Instead, it continued onward, pushing Connie and Steven along with it. They screamed as the man behind the coaster's controls slammed the emergency brakes. The momentum of the sudden stop did nothing to slow down the bubble; instead, the children were propelled off of the track and into the air.

 _This is it_ , Connie thought, her eyes shut tight. _I'm going to die. I'm going to die I'm going to die I'm going to-_

A sudden splash caught them off-guard. She opened her eyes in disbelief as they sank into the murky depths of the ocean. Their descent gradually slowed as they continued to fall, and eventually they landed on the sandy ground.

Connie coughed and spluttered as she raised her head above the now-still water inside the bubble. It was almost up to their waists. "Where are we?" she asked once she had regained her bearings. The lack of light made it difficult to see their surroundings.

Steven rubbed his arm nervously. "The bottom of the ocean..." he replied. Connie gasped in shock, and Steven rushed to console her. "D-don't worry! I can breathe underwater, we'll be fine!"

"Are we even close to the shore?" Connie groaned.

Steven had no idea, but he didn't want to cause her any more distress than he already had. The pang of guilt that had been building up in his chest all day was beginning to rise, but he pushed it down with his usual optimism.

"Yeah, sure!" he said in an effort to stay positive. "Come on, let's keep pushing!"

Connie sighed, trudging through the half-full (or was it half-empty?) prison. The water greatly slowed her movements, but Steven appeared to have no trouble at all.

"So, uh..." the boy said, trying to lighten the mood, "pretty crazy how we're in a water bubble underwater, right? Haha, at least we're not drowning!"

Connie looked uncertainly at the water level and shrugged. Steven frowned in concern.

"It's okay," he said, taking on a more reassuring tone. "Once we get back, I have another idea that won't involve property dama-"

He stopped short. Floating in front of them was a large red worm with a huge, gaping mouth full of fangs. It had some kind of translucent covering over its body, and it looked like it was over twelve feet long. Connie screamed.

The creature didn't have eyes, but it turned in the direction of the noise. It seemed to know that Steven and Connie were there, but it paid them no heed. Instead, it turned around and ate a patch of glowing red seaweed.

"Hey, it's not dangerous!" Steven said. "Look, it just wants to eat that bright stuff! Not scary at all!"

As if on cue, the monster plunged itself into the ground, created a large fissure. The bubble wobbled yet again before plummeting even deeper into the abyss.

Steven groaned as he got up, panicking when he realized that his foot was in Connie's face. He gasped and quickly removed it, and only then did he realize that the water was even higher than before.

"I-i'm sorry!" he stuttered. "Don't worry, it's okay! Everything's okay, we just-"

"It's NOT okay!" Connie exploded. "You keep saying that, but you obviously have no clue what you're doing! Now we're going to drown at the bottom of the ocean, and only my parents will notice because no one else cares about me!" Tears began to well up in her eyes. Steven's heart sank.

"What do you mean?"

Connie looked away, ashamed. "I'm going to die down here without ever making a single friend." She began to sob quietly, her tears dripping into the water below.

Suddenly, a dim glow caused her to look up. Steven was offering her a glowing red bracelet. "We could be friends!"

She looked back and forth between his face and the offering, confusion written across her face.

"I saw you at the Boardwalk Parade last year," Steven explained. "You dropped this bracelet when you left. I wanted to give it back to you, but I never saw you again. I kept it in the freezer in case you came back."

Connie's eyes widened. She remembered the parade, one of the first places she had gone to once she had moved to Beach City. She hated being surrounded by so many people, so she turned and left to go someplace quiet. She never realized that she had dropped her bracelet.

"Oh!" she exclaimed, another memory flashing in her mind. "You were the kid on the car wash float, right? You had soap bubbles in your hair!" She giggled at the thought. Steven joined in.

"I was supposed to be a scrub brush!" he said, blushing. Suddenly taking on a softer tone, he gently put the bracelet on her arm. "I'm sorry, Connie. If I had just returned this to you right away, we wouldn't be stuck here right now."

Connie's face went red, but she actually cracked the first genuine smile Steven had seen her make all day. "No, no, it's fine. Actually, as crazy as it sounds, I'm having fun."

They both laughed together, not caring that the water was almost up to their necks. Then, all of a sudden, the bubble popped, and a rush of saltwater flooded their senses.

Steven gasped in alarm, instinctively grabbing Connie's hand and swimming toward the surface as fast as he could. When they breached into the open air, they both breathed deep sighs. It was finally over. They were free.

...Until the worm broke out behind them, roaring a mighty roar that seemed to shake the entire ocean.

The children screamed, paddling as fast as they could toward the shore. Luckily, they made it before the creature did, but it was still in hot pursuit.

"Come on!" Connie yelled, scrambling up a pile of rocks and furiously motioning for Steven to follow her. The boy ran under the pier, trying to shake the monster off of them. For a moment, it seemed to work, but a quick look over his shoulder told him that the monster was heading straight for Connie.

"NO!" Steven cried, running toward her in a panic. Connie leaped away from the rocks just as the creature rammed into them, shattering them into pieces. Suddenly, Steven remembered the glowing bracelet around her wrist.

"Wait a minute...bright stuff!" he shouted, recalling the monster's appetite for the glowing red seaweed. "CONNIE! IT EATS BRIGHT STUFF!"

Connie looked confused, but Steven had reached her and was now pulling at the bracelet. "What are you doing?!" she asked.

"There's no time to explain! Hurry!" He shoved her out of the monster's path, retreating back underneath the pier. "I'm sorry!"

As fast as his legs could carry him, Steven ran around the poles supporting the wooden boardwalk. He held the bracelet high above his head, waving it around frantically. The monster screeched and darted after him, its long eel-like body snaking around every obstacle in its path. Connie watched in horror as Steven swung around another beam and skidded in front of her. He grabbed her hand and squeezed it, the monster rearing its ugly head to charge towards them.

Then, much to Connie's surprise, the creature made a pained choking sound and fell just short of them. It squirmed and tried to reach them, roaring angrily, but it was no use. Its long body was completely tangled through the pier's support beams. The wood cracked and splintered the more the monster struggled, and soon the boardwalk collapsed.

Steven and Connie coughed as a cloud of smoke rose from the rubble. Footsteps from behind them alerted them to the presence of the Gems.

"Steven!" they all yelled in unison. Zircon grabbed both of the children and began scanning them for any potential cuts or bruises, while Imperial and Bismuth went to assess the damage to the pier.

"Sweet merciful stars, are you okay?! What happened?! Why is the pier destroyed?! Are you hurt?! Are you-" Zircon shouted each question at lightning-speed, only to be interrupted by Connie.

"That was INCREDIBLE!" she cried, her eyes sparkling from the rush of adrenaline. In the distance, Bismuth had hefted a piece of wood twice her size over her head. Imperial Garnet carefully lifted a tiny gemstone from the debris, encasing it in a bubble. With a simple wave of her hand, it disappeared with a _whoosh_.

Steven was still blushing at Connie's comment. "Heh, really? You mean it?" he asked when Zircon had finally let go of them. The girl nodded breathlessly. Steven stuck out his hand, the bracelet still fully intact. "Here. Sorry I didn't give it to you from the beginning."

Connie smiled and accepted the gift. "Thanks."

"Ooooh!" Bismuth cried, leaning in teasingly. "Hey, Steven! Aren't ya gonna introduce us to your new friend over here?" She winked and nudged him, wiggling her eyebrows. He flushed and let out a nervous laugh.

"Yes," Zircon said, recovering from her mini panic attack. "Steven was very excited to meet you. Isn't that right, Steven?"

Steven sputtered nervously, trying to prevent Connie from getting the wrong idea. Then, Imperial approached them and wagged her finger at her teammates disapprovingly.

"Hey, cut it out, you two! You'll mess with his funky flow!" she scolded, pulling them behind her by the arms. Connie raised an eyebrow, confused.

"'Funky flow?'" she asked. Steven swallowed nervously. He had a lot of explaining to do...

* * *

 **Aaaand finally, this chapter is done! I've been working on this throughout all of November. The idea of adding water to the whole bubble situation just sort of came to me when I was thinking of a way to make this chapter more interesting and different compared to the original episode. Looks like Steven still has a long way to go before he learns how to master his hydrokinesis!**

 **Next episode is Serious Steven, which I'm super excited for. I always love writing Steven-Gem interactions. Stay tuned!**


	7. Serious Steven

Steven groaned in pain as he opened his eyes. His head was pounding, his stomach aching, his ears ringing as he tried to focus. Gradually, the blurry image before him became decipherable.

Funland. Yes, that's right, he was in Funland. He recognized the now-frowning face of Mr. Smiley, the man who owned the park, running around in a panic. There were shattered remains of giant teacups all over the ground. People were just regaining consciousness, pulling themselves free of the wreckage with great difficulty.

It was at that moment Steven realized he messed up.

* * *

Two weeks later, Imperial Garnet, Bismuth, and Zircon were gathering at the Warp Pad, getting ready to teleport to their next mission.

"Where is Steven?" Zircon asked impatiently. "I thought I told him we were going."

"I'm coming!" the boy in question cried, rushing over to them in excitement. He was clutching a yellow and orange ukulele tight in one hand.

"There you are, little guy! What took ya so long?" Bismuth asked. Steven rubbed the back of his neck sheepishly.

"Heh, I was so busy tuning my ukulele I kinda lost track of time." he said apologetically. Before any of the others could reply, a flash of blue sent them warping to their destination.

"Are you ready, Steven?" Imperial asked with concern. "I'm pretty sure this mission is going to be way more serious than any of the others we've brought you on."

Steven nodded, floating around in the pale blue light. "Oh yeah, I'm ready!"

Zircon shook her head disapprovingly and wrapped her arms around him. Turning him upright, she scolded, "Don't do that. You could get sick. Humans aren't built to adjust to the gravity of-" She was cut off when Steven's ukulele jabbed her in the eye that was unprotected by her monocle. Bismuth burst out laughing, and Imperial hid a faint snicker behind her hand.

"Steven, why in the galaxy did you bring that?" Zircon asked in aggravation. Steven rubbed his arm.

"I-I don't know..." he stammered. "I thought I could be like a bard or something! You know, like in those medieval stories?" Suddenly, the instrument slipped away from his arms and began to float away from him. In a panic, he tried to paddle after it, but Zircon held him back again.

"Steven, you have to be careful! You could get seriously-" Before she could continue, the blue aura surrounding them disappeared, and both Steven and the ukulele went flying. With a loud _splat,_ they landed in a field of strawberries.

"...Hurt." Zircon finished with a sigh. She leaped off of the Warp Pad and immediately ran in his direction. "Are you okay?!"

Steven got up dizzily, wiping some of the red juice from his body. "I'm fine, just really gooey!" Curiously, he stuck his tongue out to lick some of the strawberry juice off. Before he could process the taste, however, a swarm of butterflies covered his body.

"AAAHHH!" Steven cried, frantically trying to bat them away. "THEY'RE IN MY EYES!" He screamed as he scrambled to get away from the hungry bugs, tripping and falling flat on his face in the process.

"Hey, hey," Imperial said soothingly, outstretching one of her arms. The butterflies seemed to calm down at the sound of her voice, and they flew away obediently. "Don't worry, Steven! Butterflies don't eat humans!"

"Eheh...w-well, they looked pretty scary when they were on my eyeballs..." the boy said sheepishly, rubbing the back of his neck. Bismuth let out a hearty laugh, snorting as she did so.

"Don't worry, Stee-man! I'll be sure to let you know if any killer butterflies try to sneak up on you!" she teased.

"You know, I'm starting to doubt this idea." Zircon said flatly to Imperial, just out of Steven's earshot.

"What?" said Imperial, "Why would you ever think that?"

In the distance, Steven was making a goofy face and crossing his arms in determination. There was still strawberry goo all over his body.

"Looking good, Steven!" Imperial called to him, giving a thumbs-up. "Now, come on, everybody! Let's go, uh..." She paused momentarily, racking her brain to remember the purpose of their mission. Then, with a snap of her fingers, she said, "Ah, yes! Recover a gemstone!"

As the four of them traversed the field, Steven began to take note of their surroundings. Giant weapons were littered across the ground; the blades of axes and swords were embedded in the dirt. Steven had never seen weapons so large before, and he wondered who would have even needed to use them.

"Fascinating," Zircon murmured. "To think, this place was once filled with death and destruction, and now new life is growing in its place. Earth never ceases to amaze me." She smiled faintly. "Maybe this mission won't be as dangerous as I thought!"

Steven opened his mouth to ask what the battlefield used to be like, but was cut off when the Gems came to a halt. "Ah, here we are!" said Imperial. "This is the place, I think..."

In front of them was a giant, upside-down pyramid made out of gray stone. Beautiful carvings of triangles were etched on every side, making an elaborate pattern. Steven gaped at it in awe.

"Hmm..." Imperial said, examining the structure. "How do I open this again?" Thinking hard, she smiled and waved her arms, summoning a much smaller pyramid. It gently floated into a gap in the wall, becoming engulfed in a golden light. In a flash, a rectangular chunk of the wall evaporated, revealing a staircase leading inside.

"Whoa..." Steven murmured as they all went inside.

The inner walls of the pyramid were covered with even more strange murals. However, these seemed to depict actual people (or Gems, more accurately). In fact, looking closer, he could have sworn he saw his mother in one of the carvings. She was holding up what appeared to be some sort of...blue diamond...?

"Yo, Steven! What do you think?" Bismuth interrupted his train of thought. "Isn't this place cool?"

Forgetting the mural for now, Steven looked around at the rest of the room. The high ceiling in particular caught his attention, and he nodded in Bismuth's direction.

"Yeah! Hey, watch this!" Taking a deep breath, he yelled, "STEVEN'S THE BEST!" His words then proceeded to echo and bounce around the room, causing him to giggle. Bismuth ruffled his hair.

"You're a weirdo," she said.

Finally, Steven's attention was drawn to arguably the most intriguing object in the room: another small pyramid floating above a pedestal. "Hey, what's this?" he asked curiously, running up to get a better look at it. "It looks important!"

Zircon rushed to his side, brushing him out of the way. "Don't touch it! It could be dangerous!" A blue light shone from her monocle and appeared to scan the mysterious object. Some screens appeared before her, all displaying information regarding the strange artifact. "Hmm...from what I can tell, it doesn't seem dangerous..."

At those words, Steven casually leaned in closer to the object. He stuck out a finger gingerly to tap it, just as Zircon said, "However, I would still advise against touching iiiaaaAAAHH!" Suddenly, the temple began to shake violently. The gravity in the room seemed to reverse, causing all of them to float above the ground toward the ceiling.

"Oh...oops!" Steven said, blushing.

"Steven!" Zircon exclaimed. "I wasn't finished with my assessment yet! Don't you ever listen to my assessments?!"

The boy decided it would be wiser to not answer that question. Instead, his focus was shifted to the hole in the ceiling that appeared to be pulling them in. With a harsh yank, the Gems tumbled through the tunnel. Steven's stomach churned as they fell, the sharp twists and turns reminding him of...something he'd rather forget about.

Then, with a loud _thump,_ he was face-first on the ground. Groaning in pain, he picked himself up and looked around. The gravity seemed to be back to normal, but he heard the hole that they fell through close above them, preventing them from backtracking. Instead, many doorways were surrounding them, and none of them looked like the way out. Torches lit the room, but the the contents of each doorway were still shrouded in darkness.

"Hmm..." Bismuth said, surveying each angle of the room. "Looks like we're gonna have to split up."

"Very well," said Zircon. "You two can go on and explore while I stay here with Steven and keep him safe."

"What? I want to help solve the mystery!" Steven protested. Bismuth laughed and picked him up, carrying him on her shoulders.

"Hey, that's the spirit!" she jeered. "Let's go on an adventure!"

"Yeah! Adventure time!" Steven chimed in. Zircon yanked him down from the taller Gem impatiently.

"Oh, no, no, no. You two are a disaster waiting to happen!" she scolded.

"Um...I could take Steven!" Imperial Garnet volunteered, raising her hand shyly. "I might forget things sometimes, but I can remember them just as quick! Steven can count on me!"

Bismuth and Zircon eyed each other knowingly, nodding their heads in agreement. They both knew fully well that their comrade was much more knowledgeable than she appeared to be, even in situations like this. Steven watched them in confusion. To him, it was almost as if they knew something he didn't.

"Fine." said Zircon. "Just be careful, okay?"

"Okay!" Steven replied eagerly. "Come on, Imperial! Let's go!"

"Hold on!" the magenta Gem called out. "Steven, I think it's a good idea for you to stay by me. Is that alright?"

"Oh, okay..." To tell the truth, he was hoping that he would be able to go on ahead and find something important before anybody else, but he didn't dare object. Instead, he threw his arms in the air courageously. "Serious Steven...activate!"

Zircon sighed. "Just don't bite off more than you can chew. We don't want this to be another teacup incident." Steven winced. He had been trying to forget about that when they were falling through the tunnel.

"Don't worry. That was in the past! Serious Steven exists in the present!" With those words, he confidently followed Imperial through a random doorway as the rest of them split up.

Upon entering the hallway, he was surprised to find that it was much lighter than it appeared to be. The realization that he was finally beginning his first real, serious mission made him giddy, and he started to sing. " _Ohhh, we're on a magic treasure hunt for some magic treasure junk..."_ He trailed off, trying to think of new lyrics. "Um... _something, something, magic, something..."_

He lost his train of thought as they entered another room. The door immediately shut behind them, and random tiles on the floor began to glow a faint white.

"Hmm..." Imperial said, studying the ground. "I got it! Steven, we need to stay on the glowing panels!"

Steven had already figured that out, but he nodded anyway to show that he was ready. "Right! Serious Steven...GO!" This was it. Finally, his chance to prove that he could make it through danger!

Closing his eyes, he tried to remember all those old spy movies he used to see on TV. When he opened his eyes again, he leaped nimbly from one tile to another. The more he jumped, the more he realized that it was less like being a spy and more like playing an elaborate game of hopscotch. Oh, well. He was good at hopscotch, too.

When he finally landed on the last tile, he rejoiced. "Oh yeah! Another victory for Serious Steven!" He did a little victory dance, making up a tune in his head as he did so.

"Great job, Steven!" Imperial called from her position on the other side of the room. Steven, excited at the praise, began to dance even more. Unfortunately, he wasn't watching where he was going, and he slipped and fell hard onto an unlit tile.

"Uh-oh..."

The room began to shake slowly as the panels started to fall one by one. Steven screamed when he saw a giant pit of fire beneath each new square-shaped hole and tried desperately to hold on. He could feel the heat of the flames nipping at his feet. As the tile he was holding on to began to crumble, Imperial swooped in and grabbed him effortlessly in the nick of time.

"Hi, Steven!" she chirped cheerily, as if nothing had ever happened. She sank her foot into a stable platform, holding him upside-down by the leg. "Are you okay? You could have burned to death!"

Steven blinked a bit to run through the previous events in his mind. It had all happened so fast, yet the rush of adrenaline was totally worth it.

"Woohoo! That was..." Coughing, he remembered that he was supposed to be serious. "...Very dangerous. Thank you, Imperial." He opened his eyes when he felt a warm sensation on his hair. His eyes widened when he noticed that it was starting to catch on fire.

"Oh! Sorry!" Imperial winced, leaping through the next doorway deftly. Steven rushed to pat out the flames as they entered the next room. Once again, the door shut behind them automatically.

"Steven...I sense that you're not feeling well." Imperial said, leaning down to look him in the eyes. "If you want, you can take a break!"

"No, no, I'm fine," Steven lied. "Let's keep going!" To emphasize his enthusiasm, he flexed his flabby biceps proudly. Imperial chuckled.

"Alright, but be careful, okay?" she asked.

"Don't worry! I wouldn't wanna trigger a trap with this gun show!" he boasted. Imperial cocked her head in confusion.

"Guns? What guns? I don't see any."

"Uh...never mind." Nervously, Steven shifted his focus to the task at hand. He approached a nearby wall and began inspecting the carvings. "Hmm...maybe there's some kind of clue over here! There's a lot of triangles..." He felt around the smooth stone inquisitively until he felt his hand sink into a section of the wall. Once again, the temple began to shake, causing Steven to groan.

"You know, I'm starting to think this isn't good..." Imperial said. All of a sudden, the ceiling began to lower as sharp, deadly spikes descended toward them. "Yep. Definitely not good. Steven, run!"

Quickly, he obeyed, huffing and puffing with the effort of moving fast. Just when he was about to make it, a spike caught on the back of his shirt and tore his precious ukelele off of his back. "NO!"

"Steven, hurry!" urged Imperial. She was doing a handstand and using her cleats to hold the spikes up. It would almost be comical if they weren't in the face of certain doom, but Steven didn't care. Recklessly, he lunged forward and grabbed the instrument, checking it for any damage. Thankfully, it was safe, but he could tell Imperial wouldn't be able to hold the spikes up for long. He ran out of the way of the spikes just as Imperial slid his way, unscathed.

"We didn't die! Yay!" the magenta Gem cheered, picking herself off of the ground. "That was close! Right, Steven?"

The boy was still panting, trying to collect his bearings. To tell the truth, he felt like he was on the verge of throwing up, but he forced himself to wipe the sweat from his brow. "Y-yep...that was pretty serious."

There was just one more doorway ahead of them now. Steven hoped against all hope that this would be the last room, or that it would even lead to safety. Taking a deep breath, he and Imperial stepped inside.

"Oh no..."

The room was worse than Steven could have imagined. Blades swung back and forth from the ceiling, looking sharp enough to cut through even the strongest steel. Spikes stuck out in every direction from the walls, ceiling, and floor. The only areas that weren't covered by them were small platforms, but every so often a spray of lava or a spiked mechanism would pound into them.

"Well, this looks dangerous!" Imperial said nonchalantly, as if she were completely oblivious to the fact that they might die. "Get ready, Steven! I have a feeling this is going to be intense!"

As soon as the words left her mouth, a rush of memories flooded Steven's mind, and everything went black.

* * *

"Get ready, Steven! I have a feeling this is going to be intense!"

Steven scoffed at Imperial's words as he buckled the seatbelt of his teacup. "Don't worry! I can totally handle it!"

In another cup, Zircon and Bismuth were seated. The larger Gem yawned and stretched, leaning back in her seat. "Lemme know when this is over, Zirc. Human rides are pretty boring."

Zircon nodded, not really paying attention to her companion's words. Instead, she kept switching her gaze back and forth between the rest of the ride and a small teapot she had brought with her. "This doesn't make any sense," she mumbled. "These cups are too big!"

"Alright, everybody! Please keep your hands and arms inside the ride at all times!" the always-cheerful voice of Mr. Smiley announced from behind the controls. Then, with the push of a button, the cups began to rise and spin.

At first, it was gentle; the rotation of the cups and the beams that supported them caused the breeze to fly in Steven's face. However, the pleasant sensation was short-lived. The ride gradually began to accelerate, blurring his surroundings and causing his eyes to water. In time, he felt his stomach begin to churn uncomfortably.

Imperial seemed perfectly fine. She turned to Steven and said, "You know, I think this is actually kind of fun!"

"Uggh..." Steven attempted to reply, but words seemed to fail him at the moment. He knew this feeling. This was nausea. "I have to get off the ride!" With shaky hands, he unbuckled his seatbelt and took a flying leap off of the ride.

"...I feel like that's a bad idea." Imperial said thoughtfully.

Below, Mr. Smiley screamed as Steven plummeted toward him, landing on him before he got the chance to move out of the way. His hand had already been moving toward the lever controlling the ride in an attempt to get it to stop, but the weight of the child falling on him caused the switch to break in half. The lever now broken, the teacups began to spin out of control, going unbelievably fast until they soared off of the beams holding them and went in various directions. Steven vaguely thought he could hear Bismuth shouting, "WOOHOOOOO!"

"STEVEN!" Mr. Smiley said, his famous smile now distorted by rage. "You are banned from all the rides forever!"

The boy's eyes widened despite his fading consciousness. He opened his mouth to protest, but all he could manage was a weak, "Noooooo," before his world faded into darkness.

* * *

Steven gasped when he realized that he and Imperial were already at the end of the seemingly-impassable room. Time had flown by so fast, he couldn't even remember navigating it.

"We're here already?" he inquired shakily as she set him on the ground.

"Yeah! You decided you wanted to take a nap, so I carried you!" Imperial responded. Had this been any other Gem, Steven would have assumed she was teasing him, but now he felt his face flushing in shame.

"N-nap?" he asked, following her down the next hall. "What do you-"

He trailed off when he took in his surroundings. They were exactly where they started, in the room with the many doorways.

"Oh, my, it looks like we're back where we began!" Imperial pointed out not-so-helpfully. Steven felt his knees wobble and fought to keep himself upright. A frustrated Zircon approached them, sweat pouring down her forehead. Uh oh. Zircon only got sweaty when she was more nervous than usual.

"It's all leading us back here!" Her words came out fast and jumbled, as if she had a million things she wanted to say. "I've tried to map this place out, but every path either leads to a different room or one we've already been in every single time! It's like the temple is somehow randomly generating rooms that all take us back here!" She had several screens in front of her, all displaying maps she had attempted to make of the place. Most of them had confused notes written next to them and scribbled-out rooms.

Bismuth emerged from one of the rooms, snapping a bear trap in half. "What she said." She entered another room casually, and within a few seconds she had returned through another doorway with her arm encased in ice. "Hey, I don't suppose any of you could gimme a _hand_ over here?" she joked, waving her frozen arm around.

Zircon looked unamused. "Just for that, I'm leaving you that way."

Bismuth shrugged. "Alright, but you gotta admit that was funny." She banged her still-frozen fist on the floor, causing the ice to shatter into pieces. "Not like I really needed your help anyway."

"What do we do?!" Steven interrupted, the weight of the situation hitting him at full force.

Imperial seemed to be thinking hard. "Hmm...well, it seems like our only option is to keep going again and again and again and-"

"NO!" Steven shouted, clutching his head. "I can't!"

"Steven?" Zircon and Bismuth asked in concerned unison.

"Don't be upset, Steven. We'll probably survive!" Imperial said consolingly. Steven paid her words no heed and felt tears welling up in his eyes.

"This is a disaster! I wanted to do this so bad, but instead I feel like I'm gonna throw up!" he said sadly. "This is just like...the teacups..." Suddenly, his eyes began to sparkle.

"Oh, Steven," Zircon said, oblivious to his realization, "it's not like the teacups. I didn't mean to-"

"No, that's not what I meant!" the boy exclaimed, an idea dawning on him. "What if the entire temple is just spinning us around until we come back here? That's why I'm feeling so sick! That's why we're getting so lost!"

The Gems gasped at his words. "Steven is right!" Imperial said. "There must be something powering this temple that causes all of the rooms to spin us around!"

Bismuth cracked her knuckles in determination. "Well, why didn't we realize this sooner? Leave this to me!" She reeled up her fist and sent it smashing into the floor. This time, they were prepared as they fell into the gap and landed on individual pyramids, floating around in a circle.

Steven, however, was tightly holding on to Imperial. His eyes scanned the room until his eyes landed on a strange-looking obelisk in the center of the floating platforms. A gleaming gemstone was embedded in it. "Whoa..."

"Of course!" Zircon cried from above them. Her screens were all displaying an image of the obelisk, and she was scrolling through one excitedly. "This is undoubtedly a Gem-powered mechanism! That explains how the temple has managed to function after all these years!"

"That's so cool!" Steven said, his eyes sparkling once again. He had no idea Gems could power entire facilities.

"Yes," said Zircon, quite proud of herself, "you see, even when a Gem is-"

"Zirc, now isn't the time!" Bismuth interrupted, swinging her arms and legs from the platform she was on. Zircon blushed and put away her screens with a poke of her monocle.

"Oh...heh, right."

"Imperial," Steven said, turning to the magenta Gem, "I think it's time for me to get off the ride!" Imperial stared at him blankly. "...Just throw me towards the Gem thingy."

"Oh! Alright! Serious Steven...GO!" She hefted the boy above her as if it were a breeze and threw him directly at the obelisk. Steven launched forward, his arms outstretched, and clung tightly to the strange artifact. He backed away just enough to grab the gemstone inside of it and yank it from its stone prison triumphantly.

Before he could rejoice, however, the gemstone began to glow. The pyramid rumbled for what felt like the hundredth time that day, and soon the only thing Steven could see was the gem's flash of light as the temple exploded.

* * *

Zircon dug through the rubble blocking her way until she reached the surface, coughing and fanning the air. Her keen eyes surveyed the wreckage with anxiety, searching for her comrades. She found them by a patch of bushes not too far away and raced to meet them.

"Steven?! Does anybody know where Steven is?!" she panicked, her head moving around frantically.

"Relax, Z. He's over there." Bismuth reassured her, pointing over at a patch of strawberries. Once again, Steven was covered in the mushy red goop, but this time it didn't bother him. He was staring at the gemstone in his hand in awe, marveling at his success.

"Oh, thank the stars!" Zircon rushed over to the boy and hugged him tightly, getting strawberry juice all over herself. When she realized that she had just dirtied her clothes, she quickly placed him back down and wiped at her suit disdainfully. "Ahem...well, Steven, I'd say you handled that pretty well!"

"Really?!" The boy beamed at her, still clutching his trophy to his chest. "Does that mean I can go on more serious missions now?" Zircon hesitated to reply as she gently took away the gemstone and sealed it in a bubble.

"I don't see why not!" Bismuth boomed, hugging the both of them tightly. Zircon sighed as even more strawberry juice got on her. "Hey Imp, what do you think? Can Serious Steven join us for more missions?"

Imperial smiled knowingly, adjusting her sunglasses. "Well, I don't know about Serious Steven, but I'd much rather just have Regular Steven." Then, with a wink from her single eye, she handed the boy his prized ukulele.

"Hey, my ukulele!" He grabbed the instrument happily and began to strum an improvised tune.

" _Oh, that's the end of another day!_

 _It was mighty serious, I have to say!_

 _The Crystal Gems looked really cool,_

 _When they made the temple explo-_ ooooAAAAHH!" Steven's song was interrupted as a swarm of butterflies covered his face. "THEY'RE IN MY EYES AGAIN!"

The rest of the Gems just laughed as he ran away, tripping into another patch of strawberries.

* * *

 **Lol, don't worry about Steven! He's fine, they're only butterflies after all. Anyway, hooray for finally finishing this chapter! I made a New Year's resolution to write more this year, so expect many more chapters in 2018 as well as other short stories!**

 **Next chapter is Tiger Millionaire, a Bismuth-centric episode! I love Bismuth, she's one of my favorite characters. Stay tuned!**


	8. Tiger Millionaire

A flash of light briefly illuminated the temple as the Crystal Gems warped in. Bismuth was laughing boisterously at Zircon, who appeared to be hopping mad. A spot of some unidentifiable red gunk was on the blue Gem's arm, and she was NOT happy about it.

"Honestly, Bismuth!" she exclaimed, "I can't believe you, punching a blood polyp! You know how much I despise those things!" With disgust, she flicked away the bit of goop on her arm. "And just look at Steven!"

Sure enough, the boy was practically enveloped in the unsanitary red slime. He didn't seem to mind, however, as he spread his arms wide to dissuade her. "No, no, it's fine! It's not so bad once you get used to it!"

"That's the spirit!" Bismuth cheered, elbowing Zircon. "See? He doesn't mind!"

"Well, he certainly WILL mind when it hardens!" the shorter Gem retorted, causing Steven's eyes to widen.

"Uhh, I think I'm gonna go wash!" he announced to no one in particular, struggling to move to the bathroom. Suddenly, his stomach rumbled, and his gaze was averted to the fridge. It wasn't too far away from the bathroom...ultimately, his hunger got the best of him and he waddled over to the refrigerator.

"He shouldn't have been so close to it in the first place!" Zircon continued. Steven paid her no mind and reached for the door of the fridge, only to find that his hand was stuck. He tried to move, but it was no use; the goop had hardened.

"Uh, guys?" he said nervously, but the Gems didn't hear him.

"Hey, hey!" Bismuth raised her hands defensively. "How was I supposed to know they were gonna pop? It's not my fault!"

Zircon let out a loud grunt of frustration. "Actually, according to my calculations, it IS your fault! You're constantly putting us in danger with your reckless behavior!" As Zircon was speaking, Bismuth kept opening her mouth to interrupt her, but the blue Gem would always raise her hand to stop her. "I swear, Bismuth, sometimes you can just completely underestimate the danger of a situation!"

"Hey, can I actually get a word in over here?!" the muscular Gem finally interrupted. "Look, I know you think I'm too 'cocky' or whatever, but I love who I am! So what if I can get carried away sometimes? Nobody got hurt! Besides, isn't danger part of the fun, Imperial?" She looked over to the tall magenta Gem standing off to the side expectantly.

"Oh, um..." Imperial murmured awkwardly, rubbing her arm, "Well, I think...m-maybe you should tone it down just a little bit? I mean...we're all Crystal Gems, and part of being a team is looking out for each other, right? And sometimes it feels like...like you don't take things too seriously." She bit her lip apologetically, obviously not wanting to get involved in the conflict.

Bismuth's gaze wavered, a pang of hurt flashing in her eyes. Finally, she shook her head and sighed, looking away from her teammates. "Fine. If that's what you think." Sulking, she opened the door to her room and disappeared inside.

When she was gone, Zircon smiled and patted Imperial's arm. "You did a fine job, Imperial. I know you don't like arguments, but I think you really got through to her."

"You think so?" the taller Gem asked anxiously. "I didn't want to hurt her feelings..."

"Oh, she'll be fine. She's Bismuth. Nothing ever hurts her feelings." As the two continued their conversation, they walked out of the beach house together, completely ignoring Steven's frozen form.

"Uh, guys?! Hello?!" the boy called out. Nobody answered him.

* * *

It was finally nighttime when Steven woke up. He was still encrusted in the strange red substance, causing him to roll his eyes. As he tried to wiggle his way out, however, he noticed a familiar sound: the temple door was opening.

His eyes darted in the direction of the noise just as he opened his mouth to draw attention to his predicament, but his eyes widened when he saw who had left. Bismuth was wrapped in a dark cape and was moving much quieter than she normally did. Her eyes darted around suspiciously before she left the beach house, making sure to close the door quietly on her way out.

Steven's curiosity was piqued. He forced himself to fall over, shattering the crust around him and finally freeing himself. "Bismuth...?" he wondered aloud, silently creeping after her.

It was easier than he thought it would be to follow her, since she was much farther ahead of him. He trailed behind carefully as she darted through the city, eventually stopping at an old abandoned warehouse. Steven swallowed hard, wondering what his caretaker could be doing at such a scary-looking place. Trembling, he opened the door and peered inside.

What he saw was not at all what he expected. Instead of being dark and spooky, the warehouse was brightly lit. A small crowd was scattered throughout a bunch of chairs, and some concession stands ran along either side of the walls. Near the back of the room was a giant wrestling ring with spotlights shining in its direction.

"Welcome, folks," the voice of Mr. Smiley announced from a speaker, "to another exciting match here in Beach City Underground!" There was polite applause from the crowd.

Steven didn't understand. Why would Bismuth keep the fact that she was into wrestling a secret? It wasn't nearly as surprising as he thought it'd be. Dejected, he turned to leave.

"Please welcome our reigning champion, the Rainbow Rhino!"

...Wait, what?

Steven turned around and gasped. Onstage was none other than Bismuth herself, shapeshifted slightly to look like she was wearing a wrestler's uniform. Her trademark rainbow dreadlocks were pulled back in a ponytail, and a mask appeared to be covering the upper half of her face (save for her eyes).

"For those of you who are somehow unaware, the Rainbow Rhino is probably the most hated wrestler in Beach City Underground's history!" Mr. Smiley continued, prompting the crowd to boo. Bismuth seemed unfazed by the heckling; in fact, she began taunting the audience in response.

"Yeah, that's right!" she teased. "I know you love me! I love me, too!"

 _Whoa,_ Steven thought, _I've never seen her like this before!_ Usually, Bismuth was an easygoing Gem; most of her teasing was friendly and harmless. This time, though, she was deliberately egging on the crowd...and she was loving it.

"Alright, ladies and gentlemen," Mr. Smiley said, "let's have a look at our next opponent...or, more accurately, victim." He chuckled at his own joke. "Give it up for the Loch Ness Bloggster!" He motioned to the other side of the stage, where Ronaldo was dressed in probably the most ridiculous wrestler's outfit Steven had ever seen. He had on a necktie and jacket, a kilt over his shorts, and a "mask" that resembled a long, green dinosaur neck.

"I will end your reign of terror!" Ronaldo said, though he sounded incredibly uncertain. "Put up your fists, monster! AAAH!" He charged with a battle cry in Bismuth's direction, and Steven gasped. Then, with little to no effort, Bismuth backhanded him as if she were swatting a fly. In an instant, the powerful blow caused Ronaldo to collapse with a groan.

"Well, that was quick!" said Mr. Smiley. The crowd roared with outrage, and the man shrugged. "Yeah, yeah, I don't like it either, but what can you do?"

Steven stared in awe at Bismuth. She was holding Ronaldo up in one hand and hefting him up and down as if he were a weight. She yawned exaggeratedly as she lifted him. "Another lightweight!" she remarked sarcastically. Then, dropping him on the ground, she disappeared through the back door.

Steven raced after her immediately, ignoring the cries of his name from some of the people who recognized him in the crowd. He cautiously opened the door and saw Bismuth stretching calmly. She was now back in her normal attire, leaning leisurely against the wall.

"Bismuth!" Steven shouted, running at her from behind. In an instant, she turned around and grabbed him, flipping him onto his back. Her eyes glowed with recognition as she looked at his face.

"Steven?" she asked incredulously. "What are you doing here?"

"Are you a secret wrestler?!" Steven blurted without thinking. Bismuth's cheeks turned a faint tinge of violet.

"W-well...yeah..."

Steven gasped and stood up, his eyes sparkling. "But HOW? When? Why?!"

"Whoa, whoa, whoa, kiddo. One question at a time!" she chuckled, sitting down and patting her lap. Steven sat on it eagerly, looking up at her with stars in his eyes.

"Listen, kid," she said, putting an arm around him, "when you're in the ring, nobody can tell you what to do. It's just you and the thrill of battle, just like the old days."

Steven tilted his head. "The old days?"

Bismuth's face went violet again and she shook her head. "Never mind. What's important is I get to relieve some of my stress and get away from Imperial and Zircon's nagging for a little while, y'know? I can be as thrill-seeking as I want."

"And people like that?" Steven asked.

"Like it? Ha! They LOVE it!" Bismuth cleared her throat. "Well, actually, they kinda hate it, but it's all part of the fun. They understand." She sighed, suddenly wistful. "Sometimes it can be pretty tough having your friends on your back all the time."

"Are you kidding?" Steven interjected. "I know exactly how you feel!" He grabbed his hair and held it up, doing an impersonation of Zircon. "Steven, what is the purpose of peanut butter?! I told you not to bring that on missions!" He pulled his hair over his eyes, doing a high faux-British accent like Imperial's. "I'm going to stand quietly in the background, but I still expect you to understand that that was wrong...I think."

Bismuth snorted with laughter, slapping her knee. "Not bad, little guy! Not bad!"

"So, can I be a wrestler with you?" Steven pleaded. "I'm so stifled!"

Bismuth put a hand to her chin in thought. "Well...I haven't won the tag team belt yet, and I'll be doing most of the fighting anyway..." She ruffled his hair affectionately and shrugged. "Ah, why not? Just don't tell Zircon and Imperial, alright?"

Steven laughed. "Deal!"

* * *

It was the afternoon before the next big wrestling match, and Steven was _ready._

He had slicked back his hair with only the finest margarine. He was wearing the classiest suspenders and necktie, adorned with a yellow question mark. To top it all off, he had put a tiny mask over his mouth that resembled a a feline snout with fangs and whiskers.

"Are you ready?!" he announced loudly, leaping in front of Bismuth dramatically. "Introducing Tiger Millionaire! Rich feline industrialist from Jungle Island, once the single child of the wealthy Tiger Family, he clawed out his own destiny by making money in the coconut mines!"

Bismuth stared at him blankly before bursting into laughter. "How did you come up with all that?"

Steven puffed out his chest in pride. "I just thought it all up while eating breakfast this morning. What's your backstory?"

Bismuth smirked. "My backstory, huh?" she asked. "Hm...rhinos are cool."

Steven scratched the back of his head. "Uh...it could use some improvement. We'll work on it later."

* * *

The match could not come soon enough.

Steven's heart was racing with anticipation as he and Bismuth approached the stage. He adjusted his mask nervously and looked out into the crowd. Most of the people were looking at him with disdain, but Bismuth didn't seem concerned. Once again, Mr. Smiley was the announcer.

"Alright, everybody! In the opposing corner, we have two local heroes! They build hospitals for the sick AND muscles that look slick! Give it up for Concrete Heat and Chunk Truck!" He motioned over to the two wrestlers, resulting in applause and cheers from the audience.

Steven surveyed their opponents cautiously. As far as he could tell, they looked harmless. Concrete Heat was tall and lanky, while Chunk Truck was slightly shorter and pudgier. While Concrete Heat was shirtless, Chunk Truck appeared to be dressed in stereotypical construction worker garb. Maybe this wouldn't be such a difficult fight after all.

"And in the home corner," continued Mr. Smiley, "we have our reigning champion, the Rainbow Rhino, and his newest, mewest sidekick, Tiger Millionaire!" The crowd roared in disapproval after the announcement, causing Steven to flinch.

"That little guy's gonna get creamed," Lars said flatly from the crowd.

"You know, from here, he kinda looks like Steven." said Sadie, chewing on some popcorn. Lars scoffed.

"Yeah, right. I don't see the resemblance."

Steven swallowed hard and prepared to climb on, but a gesture from Bismuth stopped him. "Steven, wait!" she said, "Let me do most of the fighting, okay? I can handle this on my own. That way, we can win the tag team belt!"

Steven wasn't sure whether to be relieved or disappointed, but he conceded. "Do I at least still get to wear the costume?"

"I don't see why not."

Steven smiled, suddenly perking up. "Okay!" He gave her a thumbs-up as she entered the ring, rooting for her victory.

Bismuth smirked confidently, and in one swift motion she was upon Chunk Truck. He groaned in pain as he was easily overpowered by her strength. The Gem laughed at the uproar from the crowd, momentarily distracted. Steven's eyes widened as he saw Concrete Heat creeping up behind her.

"Rainbow Rhino! Watch out!" he cried, but it was too late. Concrete Heat slammed a traffic cone over Bismuth's head, blinding her.

"Oh!" shouted Mr. Smiley, "What a gross misuse of safety equipment...and your tax dollars!"

"That's not fair!" Steven protested.

"It may not seem fair," said Mr. Smiley, as if he had heard him, "but anything goes in wrestling!"

Steven's eyebrows raised. "It does?"

"Oh, yes it does!" Mr. Smiley echoed.

Steven narrowed his eyes. "Looks like Tiger's gonna have to be a cheetah!" He climbed into the ring determinedly, pointing at Chunk Truck. "Hey, you! I'll give you a million jungle bucks to throw the match!"

"What's this? It looks like Tiger Millionaire is offering a bribe!" Mr. Smiley said.

Steven took out a briefcase and held it up, patting it suggestively. Chunk Truck approached him, eyes wide. "Why, we could fill a thousand potholes wi-" He was cut off as Steven smacked him across the face with the briefcase, knocking him to the ground.

"Oh, snap!" Lars said from the crowd, "Did you see that?" He motioned dramatically with his hands, causing Sadie to spill some of her popcorn. She glared at him, but he was too invested in the match to notice.

Finally, Bismuth successfully removed the cone from her head. Eyes brimming with anger, she knocked Chunk Truck out in one blow, signalling the end of the match.

"Wow! What a comeback!" Mr. Smiley cheered. "Another victory for the Rainbow Rhino and his partner, Tiger Millionaire!"

Bismuth turned to Steven and winked, holding out a hand. "Hey, great job out there, Tiger!" she said, lifting him onto her shoulder. Together, they flexed, resulting in a rush of boos from the crowd. This time, however, Steven didn't care. He had just made a crucial discovery.

Wrestling was very, very fun.

* * *

Ever since he began fighting alongside Bismuth, Steven started to change.

Zircon noticed it. Even Imperial Garnet noticed it. Something about the way he and Bismuth were acting together just aroused suspicion in the two comrades.

Sometimes, when he was reliving the previous night's match in his head, he would put on his Tiger Millionaire mask. Whenever any of the other Gems walked in, he would quickly try to hide it. As far as they knew, there was no reason for this unusual behavior, making them even more suspicious.

But Steven couldn't help it. The thrill of each fight was beginning to entice him more and more. Bismuth handled most of the actual hand-to-hand combat, while he provided distractions and obstacles to hinder the other competitors' progress. Together, they made a great team, and eventually he stopped caring about the boos from the audience.

One night, after another successful brawl, Steven tossed his signature purple necktie into the crowd. He didn't see who caught it, but he could have sworn he heard a cheer suspiciously like Lars'. It didn't matter to him; he was no longer Steven Universe. He was Tiger Millionaire, richest feline in the jungle, best wrestler in the ring.

But the others couldn't find out. He had promised that to Bismuth.

* * *

The heat in the warehouse was unusually intense, even for summer. The crowd was sweating profusely, and the ones who didn't bring their own drinks were starting to consider buying some from the concession stand.

"Whew!" Mr. Smiley exclaimed, "This is some record-breaking heat tonight, folks! Wait, could it be?" In the middle of the crowd, Steven was holding an armful of soda cups. "What's this? It seems Tiger Millionaire has just bought out our entire soda stand! Maybe he'll share with his thirsty fans!"

Steven smirked under his mask. With a feigned cry of "Oops!", he dropped all of the beverages on the ground, spilling them everywhere. The audience gasped in horror.

"Oh! Now there's no sodas for anybody!" Mr. Smiley cried. Steven grinned in sick satisfaction, but he wasn't done yet. Reaching into his briefcase, he pulled out a pair of galoshes and began to dance around in the spilled soda.

"Wow, folks, this is really hard to watch!" lamented the announcer, feeling a pang of thirst hit him.

Lars, on the other hand, was cracking up. He leaped out of his seat and ran up to Steven, holding out his own drink. "Hey, Tiger! Could you sign this? It'd be so rad!"

Steven turned to face him, malice in his eyes. With one swat, he knocked the cup out of Lars' hand, laughing maniacally. "You couldn't AFFORD it!" he shouted, relishing in his role.

But Lars' reaction was not what Steven had expected. Instead of laughing like he normally did, he simply stared at the dropped drink, crestfallen. Steven's gaze softened as he saw the hurt look in his friend's eyes. Then, with an embarrassed huff, Lars sulked back to his seat.

"Wait! Come back!" he called out, "I didn't mean it!"

But it was no use. Angrily, Lars ripped off the tie he had received many matches ago and threw it onto the ground. Steven felt his heart sink when he spotted tears pricking the corners of the teen's eyes.

"Whoa..." said Mr. Smiley somberly, "I never thought I'd see the day when a contender turned down his own fan."

"B-but I thought we were just having fun!" Steven yelled, a sudden wave of nausea hitting him like a brick.

Mr. Smiley looked him dead in the eyes, his gaze suddenly serious. Steven winced at the look in his eyes, and he thought he could detect venom in his voice when he said, "Tiger Millionaire, you are the cruelest creature on the planet."

When Bismuth finally arrived (Steven was starting to beat her to the warehouse now), he didn't say a word about what happened.

* * *

A week after the incident had passed, Bismuth ran up behind Steven and patted him on the back. He jumped in alarm at the force, but she didn't seem to notice.

"Heya, Tiger! Ready to win our final match?" she said enthusiastically. Steven attempted to feign a smile, but it just wouldn't work.

"Oh...yeah, I guess." he said morosely, staring at the mask in his hands. Bismuth raised her eyebrows in concern and sat down next to him.

"Uh oh. I know that face. What's wrong, buddy?" she asked, concerned. Steven frowned and avoided her gaze.

"Bismuth, am I...the cruelest creature on the planet?"

Bismuth's eyebrows raised skeptically. "What? Of course not! I mean, just look at you!" Suddenly, she squinted at him hard. "Did somebody say that to you?"

Steven sighed. "I got carried away before you arrived last night and knocked Lars' drink out of his hand when he asked for an autograph. He seemed...really upset."

Bismuth put an arm around him comfortingly. "Oh, sweetie, it's okay. You can just apologize to him, and it'll be alright!"

"But will that really fix everything?" He put his head in his hands, distraught. "Ever since I've started this whole wrestling thing, I've been letting it go to my head. Maybe you should just compete without me."

"What?" Bismuth cried, "But I need you to win the tag team belt!"

"I know, but...I'd rather not compete at all than participate and act like a jerk in front of an entire crowd." He sniffled bit his tongue to keep from crying.

"Listen, Steven," Bismuth said, suddenly serious, "You made a mistake, and that's okay. You can't let those mistakes get you down. It's not your fault, understand? There are some things you can never predict!" There was something peculiar about her tone. She sounded as if she were trying to convince herself of something more than she was trying to convince Steven.

"...Are you okay?" he asked uncertainly. Bismuth bit her lip and looked away.

"I'm...fine. Look, let's just forget all about this and compete tonight. I've been excited for this match for a while!" She was making an effort to appear happy, but Steven could tell it was forced.

His feeling of guilt returned, compelling him to stand up as well. "Okay," he said, "I'll go."

* * *

"Ladies and gentlemen, fans of wrestling, welcome to the final tag team championship battle!" Mr. Smiley announced, cheerful as ever. "In the opposing corner, we have two fine young men who stomped their way into our hearts. Give it up for Dashing Danny Doober and Handsome Hank Hackleschmidt!"

The two men in the ring looked almost exactly the same. Both were blond and had rippling muscles, making it difficult to discern which one was which. Regardless, the audience went wild over them.

"The only thing that could make these two look even better is the tag team belt, folks!" Mr. Smiley laughed. "However, in the other corner, we have none other than the fearsome kings of the jungle! They'll eat your kids and fire your parents! That's right, it's the Rainbow Rhino and Tiger Millionaire!"

Just as Steven expected, the crowd booed and jeered at them angrily. He swore he heard a random audience member cry out, "Don't you dare hurt those men, you monsters!"

"Wow," said Sadie, "people sure are hating on Tiger M tonight."

Lars, who was perhaps the most annoyed person in the entire crowd, scowled, "It's because he hurt me specifically." He held up a giant sign that read "TIGER IS A JERK!"

Just before the match was about to start, however, something unexpected happened. The lights went out momentarily, causing a murmur of confusion that spread throughout the building. When the lights turned on again, Steven gasped; standing in front of them were none other than Zircon and Imperial Garnet, looking incredibly displeased.

"What?!" cried Bismuth in alarm, "What are you two doing here?!"

Zircon was furious. "What are _we_ doing here?! How in the Milky Way do you explain THIS?" She held up a crudely-drawn sign that depicted Bismuth and Steven in their wrestler attire. The taller Gem looked at the boy incredulously.

"I, uh...thought we could use some promotion..." Steven muttered sheepishly.

"Looks like we have some new opponents!" Mr. Smiley chimed in.

"No, you don't!" Zircon snapped irritably. "This match is cancelled!"

"What?! Why?!" cried Steven.

"WHY?! I'll tell you why! You two have been sneaking off to this...this circus of barbarians!" Turning to face Bismuth, Zircon's expression grew even more hostile. "And YOU! Using your Gem powers on humans?!" She said the last part in a hushed tone, but her words were still laced with fury.

Bismuth narrowed her eyes, an unfamiliar glint coming into them. It took Steven a moment to realize what it was, and he was gripped with fear when he did; it was _anger._

"Zircon, it's no big deal! Do you honestly think I would _seriously_ injure any of the humans who fight here?!" she snapped, looming over the blue Gem.

"It doesn't matter! You KNOW how easy it is for you to get carried away!"

"G-guys..." Imperial stammered, "let's not fight, okay?"

The crowd didn't share the same idea. They were all chanting, "Fight! Fight! Fight!"

"Come on, Bismuth," said Imperial in a gentle tone. "Let's just go back to the temple."

Suddenly, Bismuth turned on her, her rage now directed elsewhere. "We're not leaving!"

"W-well, I mean...wouldn't you rather discuss this in private?"

"I don't think I want to discuss this at ALL!" Then, in a sudden outburst, she shoved the magenta Gem back. It wasn't hard, but she immediately regretted it as soon as she saw the betrayed look in her friend's eyes. "Imperial, wait...I didn't mean-"

"You pushed me?" Imperial interrupted, heartbroken. "Why...?"

"Imperial, I promise, I would never-"

"I th-thought we were friends..." Imperial's one visible eye began to water, and tears began to stream from under her sunglasses.

"Impy, sweetheart, we are friends! Oh, gosh, please don't cry, I'm sorry..."

"WAIT!" Steven shouted, running up onstage. Mr. Smiley tossed him a microphone, which he caught and began to speak into. "I want to tell you all the Rainbow Rhino's backstory!" A mumble of disbelief rose from the audience, and even the Crystal Gems looked confused.

"Growing up," he began, "she- I mean, _he_ was very upset and lonely. He would always hide his true feelings by smiling and trying to get the other cats in the jungle to lighten up, but they never took him seriously. That's why he came here; because he felt like he could truly express himself and vent."

"That seriously sounds like Steven." Sadie whispered. Lars shushed her almost immediately, invested in the story.

"Isn't that why we're all here? To let loose and have fun with no restrictions? To make up cool nicknames and wear costumes?" He turned around, facing Zircon and Imperial. "Don't we all deserve to have this? Can't we just...wrestle?"

Silence permeated the air. Finally, Imperial reached out and gently took the microphone from Steven's hands.

"...No." she said unexpectedly, resulting in a gasp from the crowd. "W-we are the...evil group of wrestling haters!" She sounded like she was improvising, and she motioned for Zircon to help her out anxiously.

"Hm? Oh!" The blue Gem cleared her throat and made a dramatic pose. "Yes! We want to destroy all wrestling forever! You will never defeat us!" She laughed a surprisingly chilling evil laugh, but it was clear by the way she winked at her friends that she wasn't being serious.

"Don't let them destroy wrestling!" Lars cried. He had now fixed his sign, having previously scribbled a hasty "NOT" in between the words "A" and "JERK." "Tiger! Rhino! Tiger! Rhino!"

The rest of the audience began chanting along with him, clapping their hands in time with each shout. "Tiger! Rhino! Tiger! Rhino!"

"We'll stop you!" Steven said, linking arms with Bismuth.

"What a stunning turnaround!" Mr. Smiley said. "It looks like the Jungle Duo are fighting back!"

Steven punched the air in front of Zircon, and she pretended to fall to the ground in agony. Bismuth lifted him up and swung him around, just missing Imperial Garnet's face. The magenta Gem fell as well, landing flat on her back.

"Oh, and they've taken down the Cotton Candy Captain!" the announcer continued. "And what's this?! It's the Good-Looking Gang with a ladder! Are they planning to steal the belt?"

Sure enough, the two blond men from earlier had hefted a ladder into the ring. Dangling from the ceiling above was the tag team championship belt. They set the ladder up underneath it and ushered Steven forward graciously.

"It looks like they're helping Tiger up!"

Meanwhile, Bismuth had leaned down to whisper to Imperial Garnet. "Hey, uh...sorry for...all that."

Imperial smiled at her. "It's okay. I understand."

Bismuth rubbed her arm. "You do?"

"Yes." The look in her eye was oddly knowing. "I'm sorry, too. If I had known-"

Bismuth held up a hand to stop her. "It's fine. I guess I just...missed having real battles, y'know? That's kinda why I'm always looking for something exciting to do."

Imperial subtly put a hand on her knee. "I know." The two of them were silent for a moment, as if they were reminiscing on something only they knew.

"And it looks like Tiger Millionaire has claimed the tag team belt!" the sudden voice of Mr. Smiley exclaimed. "Congratulations, Jungle Duo! You two have won the championship and saved wrestling!"

Steven clambered down the ladder and presented the belt to Bismuth excitedly. "Look, we won! Isn't this awesome?!"

The muscular Gem smiled at him, and for a split second he thought he saw her wiping away tears. "It sure is, Tiger. It sure is."

"I love you, Tiger Millionaire." whispered Lars. A single teardrop fell from his eye. "You're my hero."

* * *

 **Wow, I finished that chapter much sooner than expected. Who knew?**

 **But yeah! I decided to throw in little hints about Bismuth's past in this one. What did she mean by "there are some things you can never predict?" Why does she like battling so much? What do she and the rest of the Crystal Gems know that Steven doesn't?**

 **...Well, that's a story for another episode. In the meantime, get ready for Steven's Lion! "But wait," you may ask, "how can there be a Lion if Rose Quartz isn't around?" Well, this is a much different Lion. Trust me, it definitely has something to do with Lapis.**

 **Stay tuned!**


	9. Steven's Lion

The only thing that disappointed Steven the most in regards to the desert was the fact that it wasn't as hot as he was expecting.

Other than that, though, it was pretty cool. Towers made of slightly-corroded sandstone stood tall in the gleaming sun, and the endless sea of peach that coated the ground seemed to stretch on for miles. He had never been to a desert before, but he was already having fun just looking around.

"W-water...water..." Steven said dramatically as he pushed himself over the ruins of a collapsed tower. "I need...water..."

"We're in the desert, Steven. There is no water here." Zircon stated flatly, reaching forward to help him up. "Besides, I'm sure it would be much safer for you to just walk."

"You don't...understand..." Steven gasped, "this is how...you're supposed to act...in the desert..."

Zircon looked unamused. Groaning, Steven stood up and wiped some of the sweat from his brow, most of which was due to the struggle of dragging himself across the ground.

"Is this the place?" he inquired once he noticed that all Gems had come to a complete stop. In front of them were several sandstone ruins, springing up and collapsing at random.

Imperial nodded. "I think so...it looks like whoever's behind this doesn't know what they want to build."

"It keeps creating and destroying things endlessly. Columns with no roofs, stairs that go nowhere...if we don't stop it, it could go out of control!" Zircon said exasperatedly, wincing at the terrible architecture.

Bismuth leaned on one of the fallen pillars. "Guess we better..." She gave the pillar a simple poke, causing it to crumple to pieces. "Smash it to bits."

Zircon looked annoyed. "That was unnecessary, you know. All we have to do is just capture the gemstone. No 'smashing' is required."

Bismuth waved a hand dismissively. "Yeah, yeah, speak for yourself. I don't know about you, but I like a little challenge."

"Please," Zircon huffed, "this is nowhere near a challenge for you." A roar cut off her train of thought, directing her attention back to the shifting sand castle.

"What was that?" Steven asked, looking around for the source. The Gems ignored him, still focused on the rising staircases and walls.

"You don't suppose there's a monster in there, do you?" Bismuth said, looking excited.

"There's no monster. It's just some Desert Glass in a pillow." said Zircon, peering up at a newly-formed tower.

"Steven," said Imperial Garnet, "I think maybe you should stay here."

"But what if a monster eats me?" Steven cried, still shaken by the noise.

"There is no monster!" Zircon elbowed Bismuth angrily. "Now, look! You've got him all worried!"

"Don't worry, Steven," said Bismuth, unfazed, "if there's a monster, we'll just beat it up! You can count on us!"

"Wait, there's a monster?" Imperial piped up suddenly, butting in to the conversation.

"No!" Zircon groaned and motioned toward the wreckage. "Come on, let's just get this over with."

"Okay!" said Imperial, giving Steven a quick hug. "Be careful, Steven! We'll probably be back soon!" The boy nodded, somewhat reassured, as the Gems hurried off to further investigate the mysterious Desert Glass.

Steven sighed and wiped some more sweat from his brow. In retrospect, the desert _was_ quite hot. _Is there an oasis around here?_ he thought, his eyes darting around in search of a place to cool off. When he found nothing, he sat down against a lone column and tried to bathe in its shade.

 _Whoosh._

Steven's eyes widened. A shadowy figure was looming at him from afar, and it looked nothing like the Gems. He screamed and ran away to another nearby column, hiding behind it and pressing his limbs together.

 _It's a good thing this pillar was here,_ he noted, only for it to collapse in a wave of sand. His heart felt like dropping into his stomach as he slowly turned around, shrieking when he discovered that he was face-to-face with a large lion.

But this was no ordinary lion. It appeared to made entirely out of water, with a blank, expressionless face and pupil-less eyes. Its body glimmered in the sunlight, the brilliant sparkles reflecting off of its watery mane.

Steven had little time to admire its appearance, however. Instead, he cried out in alarm, backing into another column. "No, no!" he said, holding up his hands. "Don't eat me, please!"

The lion followed him as he scrambled to back away, stopping when he had him cornered against the pillar. Then, it opened its large, fang-filled mouth and yawned.

...Wait, what?

Steven, who had shut his eyes out of fear, opened them upon hearing this strange noise. The lion was stretching lazily, plopping down on the sand with indifference. Cautiously, he pulled himself up and took a tentative step forward. The lion twitched.

"Ahh! Don't bite!" Steven cried, taking a step back. Thankfully, the creature didn't appear to be interested in him. It simply rolled over and yawned again, more sunlight reflecting from its body.

Steven sucked in a breath and reached out to touch its liquid...skin? Fur? Whatever it was, it was mesmerizing, and he was more tempted to touch it now that he knew it was harmless.

To his surprise, its body was fairly solid, and his hand did not slip through it. The lion purred slightly and turned to give the boy further access. Steven, motivated, began to pet it earnestly.

"Aww, you just wanted attention, didn't you?" he cooed. "You're a nice desert water lion thing!" The lion made another noise, but this one sounded like one of contentment.

"I can' t believe you're made of water," Steven continued, pressing his face against the wet fur (yes, that was what it was, he decided). "So, are you from around here? I'm just here on business." He climbed on top of the creature, transfixed by its liquid body. "I really like your water fur! What are you doing in the desert, anyway? There's no water here."

The lion did not reply, but Steven didn't care. He lived in a magical world with rock people and monsters; a water lion wasn't too surprising for him.

"I've always wanted an animal friend, but I thought it would be a goldfish...or a dinosaur!" He laughed, leaning against the lion and draping his arms over its stomach. "But I guess fate had other plans for Steven Universe and his new best friend, Lion."

A gust of sandy wind shot toward them, causing Steven to cough. When he had finally rubbed the sand out of his eyes, he saw the Gems in the distance, approaching him. Bismuth had what looked like a small pillow in her hand and was tossing it up and down.

"Bismuth, why don't you bubble that thing already?!" Zircon scolded.

Bismuth shrugged. "I dunno, I kinda like how it looks! Normally these things are giant monsters, but this little gal's just a tiny pillow."

"Well, that 'little pillow' is going to rebuild everything if you drop it. Bubble it right away!" the blue Gem replied in frustration.

Steven gasped. "The Gems are coming! Quick, put my head in your mouth!" He put his hands to the lion's maw and tried to pry it open, but he was stopped by the panicked voice of Zircon.

"Steven, what is that?! What are you DOING?!"

Quickly, the Gems summoned their weapons and got into fighting stances. Steven held up his hands defensively.

"Wait, stop! Don't worry, he's totally tame!"

"Nonsense! It's a wild...animal..." Slowly, she lowered her weapon and stared at Lion in shock. It looked like the rest of the Gems had noticed the same thing that she did, as they too loosened their grip on their weapons.

"There's no way," Bismuth said, stepping closer, "Steven, where did you find this thing?"

"He's not a thing, he's a lion!" Steven said, hugging his mane. "And I don't really know where he came from. He just...showed up."

Imperial leaned closer to Zircon and whispered, "I think this lion is made out of water."

"That's because he is!" Steven chimed in. "Pretty cool, right? Do you think he came from an oasis?"

"Steven..." Zircon twiddled her thumbs anxiously. "That lion was made by your mother."

Steven blinked and looked over at the liquid feline. Huh. That made sense.

"Lapis could create sentient beings entirely out of water. She could make perfect copies of already-existing creatures, but...I don't recall her ever having a lion..." The blue Gem was lost in thought, scanning her memories for any possible recollections of the mysterious water lion.

"Why would she make a lion?" Imperial said. "They're cute, but they're not very friendly..."

"This one is friendly! Look, I taught him to say 'I love you!'" Steven moved his hands to the lion's mouth again and opened and closed it repeatedly. "I love you!" he said in a high-pitched voice.

Imperial's one visible eye widened. "Awww, that's so sweet! I...I love you too!"

Bismuth snickered a bit uncertainly. "Yeah...that's real nice and everything, but I'm still unsure about this."

"Why?" Steven continued. "He's not gonna hurt anybody! If he did belong to my mom, then I'm sure he'd trust you guys! You were her friends!" The Gems exchanged hesitant looks.

"I don't see why not!" Imperial chimed happily. "It's one of Lapis' creations, right? Won't it be nice to have something else to remember her by?"

Bismuth rubbed her arm. "I don't know...we've never seen that thing before. It could be dangerous. Zircon, what do you think?"

Zircon said nothing. Her eyes kept darting back and forth between her own folded hands and Lion, a look of desperate confusion on her face. "I don't understand..." she kept murmuring.

Steven frowned. Something was obviously wrong, but he couldn't fathom what it was. He looked over at Lion sadly and patted his mane.

"You know what, Lion? I think it's best that you stay here. The Gems are still kinda missing my mom, and we're both pretty big reminders of her existence. I don't want to upset them any more." He stood up and waved. "I'm sorry, Lion. It was nice meeting you. Maybe we'll see each other again someday."

Lion didn't respond. He merely shifted his position slightly. Steven sniffled and approached the Gems.

"It's okay, guys. Lion's gonna stay here."

"Are you sure?" Imperial asked. "I kinda like him!"

"I'm...sure." Steven replied hesitantly. "Come on. Let's go bubble that Desert Glass."

Bismuth, who had seemingly forgotten about the monster until just now, gripped the pillow tightly. "If you say so, meatball. I gotta say, I wasn't expecting one of Lapis' creations to still be...y'know, still around. She usually just made 'em disappear when we didn't need them anymore."

"That's why this doesn't make sense..." Zircon said, slightly more audible. When everybody turned toward her, she blushed and shook her head firmly, putting on a fake smile. "Never mind! Let's just...go home."

Bismuth and Imperial both had sympathetic looks on their faces, but before Steven could ask what it was all about, Zircon pulled him away to the Warp Pad.

"Hey, wait!" he said, turning around to get one last look at Lion. Unfortunately, when he did, he was gone.

* * *

Steven was jolted awake by a loud scratching sound. He gazed up at the ceiling of the pillow fort he and Bismuth had been making together, remembering with a start that the Desert Glass was still on top of it. He stumbled out of the fort to make sure it was still in place and breathed a sigh of relief when he saw it.

"Hey," Bismuth yawned, opening her eyes, "what's wrong, little guy?"

"Do you hear that?" he responded. "It sounds like scratching."

"All I hear is your mouth." said Bismuth plainly, shoving two pillows over her ears.

"I thought Gems don't need sleep?" said Steven.

"Nah, we don't. It feels pretty good, though, not gonna lie."

Steven was about to ask about the Desert Glass when the scratching sound echoed through the quiet house. He realized it was coming from the door.

"Gah, it's probably some young whippersnapper trying to sell me lava insurance." he grumbled, rubbing his eyes and trudging to the entrance. "Hold your britches, young'un!"

He turned the doorknob and opened the door, gasping when he saw who was standing on his porch. "Lion! It's really you!"

" _What?!_ " Bismuth tumbled down the stairs, frantically running behind Steven. "What's it doing back here? I thought you left it back at the desert!"

"I did! It looks like he loved me so much he followed me!" Steven wrapped his arms around Lion's mane, pulling him in for a hug. "I really am meant to have a magical animal sidekick!"

"Look, Steven, normally I'm the 'fun mom,' but I don't know about this thing." Bismuth said, folding her arms. "I never liked Lapis' little water clones. They were kinda creepy and they only listened to her and none of us. Make it go away or something."

"What? But he's not hurting anybody!" Steven frowned and narrowed his eyes. "I don't know about you, but I'm gonna hang out with him. It feels like he really wants to get to know me!"

Bismuth sighed and rubbed her forehead. "Ugh...fine, fine. You can play with it. Just keep it away from the temple, alright?"

Steven smiled. "Okay! Yaaay, Lion!" He ran outside, motioning for the creature to follow him. "Come on, let's go do best friend stuff!"

Bismuth felt the faintest trace of a grin on her face as she shut the door. Then, sighing, she muttered, "What is that thing doing here?"

* * *

"Okay," Steven said, perching on the edge of a cliff, "this is our first friendship test! I'm gonna jump off, and then you gotta catch me! Ready?"

Lion scratched at his ear nonchalantly. He didn't move an inch from where he was standing, which happened to be a considerable distance away from where Steven was going to land.

"Uh...alright! I'm jumping! Catch me!"

Lion remained stationary, pawing at his face. Steven still stood on the cliff's edge, waiting expectantly for the lion to run up and at least try to catch him.

"I'm falling!" he continued. "Catch me, or I'll die!" Lion still didn't move. Steven sighed.

"Okay..." he said, climbing down the steep rocks. "Obviously, you're not into this- WHOA!" His foot slipped, and he actually tumbled down the cliff for real, landing on the sand below.

"...game." he mumbled, his voice muffled by the ground. Lion simply rolled over and yawned.

* * *

"Alright!" Steven said, lifting the tennis ball over his head. "This is really simple! All I gotta do is throw this ball, and then you catch it! Do you think you can do that?"

Lion stared at him, unmoving. Steven rubbed his arm and chuckled awkwardly, wishing that his new friend could talk so that this would be way easier.

"Well, I'm gonna throw it anyway! Here it comes!" With a slight grunt, he threw the ball as hard as he could. It soared over Lion's head, but the transparent feline did not chase after it.

"Aw, come on! That was a really good throw!" Steven complained, rushing to retrieve the ball himself. "Look, all you gotta do is catch it in your mouth! See?" He put the ball in his mouth to emphasize the point, but the lion remained indifferent.

"Aw, you don't like that one either?" Steven frowned, spitting the ball back out. Lion turned around to walk away, but the boy rushed in front of him and held up his hands.

"Wait, wait! Don't go! I know something you've gotta like!"

Lion tilted his head, which Steven took as a sign of possible interest. It was now or never. In order to truly cement his title of _Steven Universe, the Lion Whisperer,_ he needed to focus all of his energy on this one, crucial task.

* * *

"Aaaand, here we are! Fish Stew Pizza!" He motioned to the building enthusiastically, scanning Lion's face for a reaction. Nothing.

"Cats love fish," Steven said, the words rapidly flowing from his mouth, "and everybody loves pizza, so you're gonna love this!" Lion remained still, as if waiting for a more valid reason as to why he was here. Steven ignored him and opened the door to peer inside. "

"Whoa! This place is jumpin'!" he said, shutting the door before Lion could look in. "Wait here. We're about to blow some minds!"

He entered the restaurant with a slight wave to his watery friend and observed his surroundings further. In the corner of the room, Onion was silently eating pizza. Ronaldo was on his laptop, presumably blogging about whatever new "weird" thing had just happened to him.

"Hey, guys! How are you on this fine day?" Nobody responded. The only person who acknowledged his entrance was Onion, who stared at him eerily.

"Oh, I'm doin' okay, y'know? Just getting some pizza." Steven continued as if anybody had noticed him. Leaning over the counter, he rang the tiny bell next to the cash register. "Kofi? Kiki?"

"Oh, coming!" called a voice from the kitchen. A tall teenage girl with dark eyes and curly black hair pulled back by a white bandanna approached the counter. She smiled sweetly when she saw Steven standing there.

"Hello, Steven! What're you having?" she asked cheerily.

"Large pizza, please! Extra fishy." the boy replied, pointing a finger-gun at the wall.

"You must be hungry!" Kiki commented, heading to the back to get his order.

Steven chuckled. "I'm ordering for two."

Suddenly, Ronaldo spat his drink all over his laptop. "Steven is pregnant?!" he exclaimed wildly.

Steven tilted his head. "I don't think so...but I have a giant pet water lion outside!"

"Heh, you're not 'lion,' are you?" Kiki asked as she brought the pizza to the counter.

Steven laughed. "That's pretty funny, but no!"

"I believe it!" said Ronaldo, standing up. "Lots of weird stuff happens in Beach City! You'd know if you read my blog, Keep Beach City Weird! I also have buttons!" He opened his jacket, revealing a small collection of buttons with the name of his blog written on them.

"Just go outside and see for yourselves!" Steven said proudly, holding the door open. Onion, Ronaldo, and Kiki all stepped out to see, and Steven smiled when he heard one of them gasp.

"I can't believe it!" said Ronaldo. "It's invisible!"

"Wait, what?" Steven ran outside and was shocked to discover that Lion was nowhere to be found. "N-no, he's not invisible! He's made of water!"

"Made of water?" Ronaldo asked skeptically. "Then how come I can't feel him?"

"There's nothing out here, Ronaldo," said Kiki, "Steven was 'lion.' Sorry for using the same pun twice."

Before Steven could respond, Kiki and Ronaldo went their separate ways (though he could have sworn he heard the latter say, "I bet you aren't even pregnant").

"Guys, wait! Come back! He's real, I swear!" Desperately, he turned to Onion, who was still standing behind him. "Onion, you believe me, right?"

The pale boy glared at him menacingly, causing Steven to shudder. He pulled a slice of pizza from seemingly nowhere and took a harsh bite, all while staring directly into Steven's eyes.

"I, uh...I gotta go!" the older boy cried, turning around and running as fast as his legs could carry him.

* * *

By the time Steven had made it back to the temple, he could already see the telltale paw prints in the sand. Sure enough, there was Lion, peering through the screen door intently. Steven gasped when he saw scratch marks on the wooden frame, rushing over to stop him.

"Lion, stop!" he yelled, pulling his paw away from the door. "What are you doing here? You left me at the pizza place! I looked like a fool! I had to eat a whole pizza by myself!"

Instead of idly ignoring Steven's words, the lion shoved the beach house's door off of its hinges and smashed into the house. As if on cue, Bismuth walked through the door of the temple, stretching idly.

"Is someone here?" she asked, gasping when she saw Lion approaching the pillow fort. "Steven! I thought you said you'd make that thing go away?"

"I didn't bring him here! He came here on his own!" Steven replied, hurrying after the lion. The water feline let out a loud roar that knocked the fort over, causing the Desert Glass to fall to the floor.

"Hey! Only I get to destroy things around here!" Bismuth yelled, climbing up to the bedroom. Steven held up his arm to stop her.

"Bismuth, wait! Let me try to talk to him!" Stepping in front of Lion, Steven folded his arms. "What was that for?" Frowning, he looked down at the fallen Desert Glass at his feet and gasped.

"Did you just want this pillow the whole time?!" he exclaimed, holding up the offending artifact. "I've been trying to play with you and feed you 'cause I thought we were best friends! Did all of that mean nothing to you?"

Lion paid Steven's words no heed and lunged forward in an attempt to grab the pillow. Defensively, Bismuth rushed up to protect him, but Steven dodged out of the way.

"Fine! I don't care!" Angrily, he stormed toward the front door, Desert Glass in hand. Bismuth tried to call out to him, but he ignored her.

"If you want it," Steven said loudly, holding the pillow high above his head, "you can have it!" With that, he threw the Desert Glass onto the sandy beach.

Suddenly, the beach began to rumble. Upon realizing what he had just done, Steven's stomach dropped. "Uh...oops."

With a _whoosh,_ several columns, walls, and spikes made out of sand began to spring up all across the beach, carrying the Desert Glass with them. Steven struggled to stay upright as the shaking of the earth caused him to wobble. In an instant, the Crystal Gems were on the porch, gazing in horror at the sand structures.

"Good grief, the Desert Glass is rebuilding its structures!" She turned to Bismuth exasperatedly. "Why didn't you bubble it earlier?!"

The taller Gem rubbed the back of her neck, embarrassed. "I guess I kinda...underestimated it..."

Rolling her eyes, Zircon turned her attention to Steven, who was still standing on the beach. "Don't worry, Steven, sweetie! We're coming! Just don't move!"

"Okay!" Steven replied over the noise of the sandstorm. Unfortunately, just after he responded, the sandy winds began to surround him, eventually lifting him up and forcing him away from his family.

Steven screamed as he was carried through several sandstone structures, occasionally bumping into some of them. He coughed loudly when sand entered his mouth each time, rubbing his eyes to clear his obscured vision. As he struggled to take note of his surroundings, however, something caught his eye. Atop a nearby pillar was the Desert Glass pillow, unmoving despite the raging sandstorm.

"There it is!" he said aloud. "I have to get it!"

He reached out and grabbed the nearest structure, climbing onto it with a grunt. The wind was pushing him back, but he forced himself to move forward, jumping from column to column, platform to platform.

Meanwhile, a giant wall had completely encased the sandstorm. The Gems struggled to break it, but it was much tougher than any of the other structures they had encountered in the desert. Even Bismuth was finding it difficult to make even a dent in the strong sandstone.

"You know," Imperial Garnet observed, "I have a feeling this won't break!"

"Don't say that!" Zircon shouted, trying hard not to panic. "We have to keep trying before things get any-"

"WHOA!" Bismuth cried suddenly. A giant pillar had erected just under her feet, propelling her into the air. She laughed the higher it got, diving headfirst into the raging sandstorm with a thrilled scream.

Steven thought he could hear her, but the sand was becoming too heavy. The only thing he could see was the Desert Glass, only a few feet away. He reached out desperately, taking a leap of faith toward the pillow...

...Only to fall down, down, down to a spike-covered ground.

"AAAAHHHH!" he screamed, plummeting closer and closer to the pointed sand. This was it. He had made it so far, and now he was going to die. No more Gems. No more adventures. No more Lion.

Then, unexpectedly, a loud roar seemed to penetrate the uproar of the storm. Before long, Steven found himself not falling, but _flying_ toward a nearby wall. He opened his eyes and gasped. He was on the back of none other than Lion himself, who was staring forward determinedly.

"Lion!" Steven cried in joy. "You didn't come here to steal the pillow! You came here to protect us from it, didn't you?"

For the first time, Lion seemed to actually acknowledge Steven's words, growling in what seemed like agreement. Steven nodded firmly, gripping his friend's watery mane.

"It's that way!" the boy said, pointing to the pillar on which the Desert Glass rested. "It's putting up its defenses! What should we do?"

With a roar, Lion smashed through every obstacle in his path. Steven gasped as he stretched his liquid form to maneuver around certain debris that was flying in his path, carrying the young Gem with him.

"Whoa..." Steven said, catching his breath. "Sounds good to me! Let's go!"

He swore he saw Lion nod before jumping from wall to wall, almost like a video game character. Every time a new obstacle appeared to block them, one roar would cause it to crumble to pieces. Before long, they were closer to the pillow than ever before.

"Now, Lion!" Steven cried, bracing himself for impact. With a final roar, Lion smashed through the walls surrounding the Desert Glass, allowing Steven to jump forward and grab it.

As soon as he did, everything collapsed. An avalanche of sand crashed onto the beach, carrying Steven and Lion with it. They rolled down the mountain of debris, Steven coughing and spluttering to clear sand from his lungs.

"STEVEN!" yelled Zircon, rushing forward and hugging him. Steven barely had time to register her actions before she snatched the pillow away from him, shaking her head vigorously.

"We should have bubbled this in the first place!" she scolded, summoning a bubble and warping the Glass to the temple. Bismuth, who had just poked her head out from the rubble, laughed nervously.

"Uh, yeah...sorry about that. In my defense, I forgot."

Steven smiled and turned to Lion, patting him gently. "Well, my friend, I guess this is goodbye." He sniffled and wiped his eyes. "We had some good times together, but I guess you must have other magical stuff to smash with other magical boys."

Then, he reached out and grabbed Lions lips, opening and closing them as he spoke in a high-pitched voice. "'I love you, Steven! I want to stay with you forever!'"

Gasping, Steven turned to the Gems. "Guys, did you hear that? Lion wants to stay!"

"...Huh. I guess that thing's not as creepy as I thought." said Bismuth, nodding in approval. "Anything that can survive a sandstorm that huge has got my respect."

Zircon blinked uncertainly. "Are you sure you want to let him keep that? We don't even know why Lapis made it!"

"Well, we kept Steven, didn't we?" Imperial asked, being entirely literal. Bismuth snorted in laughter as Zircon burst into a fit of giggles.

"Ohohohoho! 'Kept' Steven!" the blue Gem laughed. "Imperial, that's priceless!"

The taller Gem looked confused. "What did I say?"

Despite the joke at his expense, Steven was overjoyed. He wrapped his new friend in a hug. "Yaayy, Lion!" He reached up to grab one of Lion's eyelids to make him wink, only to find that he didn't have any.

"Oh, uhh..." Hastily, he resorted to covering the creature's eye instead. "Wink!"

Lion yawned absentmindedly and stretched, lying down for a nap in the sand.

* * *

 **Aaaand that was Lion! I based him off of those water clones that Lapis made to fight the Crystal Gems in Ocean Gem. Why is he still around, though? Could it have something to do with Steven? How will the Gems react to Lion as time goes on? I guess we'll just have to wait and find out!**

 **Next time, we'll be taking a look at Arcade Mania. Stay tuned!**


	10. Arcade Mania

The cave would have been completely dark if not for the glowing crystals illuminating it. Steven found himself transfixed by their soft turquoise lights, too focused on them to notice the obnoxious noise his heavy coat was making every time he took a step forward.

"Hm..." Imperial Garnet murmured as she surveyed the path ahead of them, "Was it this way...? Yes, yes it was."

Zircon kept trying to focus as she followed her teammate, but Steven's coat noises were driving her crazy. "Steven!" she whispered harshly. "This is supposed to be a stealth mission! Take off the jacket immediately!"

"But I don't wanna catch a cold!" the boy protested.

"Logically, if you really cared about catching a cold," Zircon muttered, "then you wouldn't be wearing sandals."

"I can be quiet!" Steven insisted, sticking his arms out in a "T" pose. "See? Stealth!"

"I think we might be getting closer!" Imperial informed them, oblivious to their argument. Zircon seemed relieved and motioned for Steven and Bismuth to keep going.

"Come on, then. No dilly-dallying."

For a while, the two followed in silence, Steven's raised arms preventing his jacket from making any more noise. Smirking, Bismuth began to imitate the sounds herself, causing Steven to turn toward her, annoyed.

"Bismuth!" he said softly yet sharply. Zircon turned around, frowning at the newly-resumed racket.

"Steven, I told you to keep it down!" she warned. Bismuth snickered and waved her hands in an attempt to placate the blue Gem.

"Relax, Zirc, it's only me. No hard feelings."

Zircon rolled her eyes and began to scold her, Steven tuning them out in the process. He resumed his sightseeing, admiring the radiant glow of the crystals. He was just wondering where Imperial Garnet went when his foot slipped, causing him to let out a yelp as he slipped against the edge of the cliff he was just walking on.

"AAAHH!" Steven screamed, flailing his arms wildly. Bismuth and Zircon gasped and darted to the cliff's edge to catch him. Unfortunately, they were too late, and he fell with a final whisper-cry of "Stealth!"

"Steven!" Zircon called out worriedly. Bismuth immediately used her shapeshifting powers to elongate her arm, thrusting it down for Steven to grab on to. Before he could, however, he bounced off of a piece of rock jutting out of the wall and landed in a familiar pair of hands, holding him just above the ground.

"Oh, hi, Steven!" Imperial chirped happily upon catching him. "Where are the others?"

Steven's head was still spinning from the suddenness of his rescue, preventing him from answering her question. Just as he opened his mouth to reply, a low growl sounded from deep within the cave. Both of them looked around for the source, their eyes resting fearfully on a hole in the ceiling above them.

Then, without warning, a creature seemingly too large to fit through the gap crawled out and landed on five tentacle-like appendages. It was a bright blue-green, not unlike the crystals scattered throughout the cave, and it was covered in spikes. It resembled a giant rock more than any type of living creature, but that didn't make it any less ferocious.

It shot its spines at them at full force, but Imperial only seemed mildly surprised. She dodged just as they were about to collide with her, letting out an, "Oh, my!"

Bismuth and Zircon leaped down from the cliff to assist her, helping Steven get to cover safely.

"I'm going to need you to stay put, Steven! Sorry!" Imperial said, summoning her cleats and running toward the monster.

Steven got up and tried to run after her, but Bismuth grabbed him and lifted him up. "Not so fast, poofy! We don't want you to get hurt!" she warned.

"But what about Imperial?" Steven asked, reaching toward her anxiously.

The monster roared and shot its tentacles toward the magenta Gem, who just barely dodged them. She seemed to only recognize their presence seconds before they were about to collide with her, but that didn't stop her from avoiding them.

"Go, Imperial, go!" Steven cheered from Bismuth's arms.

Imperial jumped onto one of the creature's tendrils and practically skipped across it, leaping toward its stomach. Several tinier tendrils slithered from a mouth-like opening within its belly, darting toward her in an effort to shoo her away. Imperial looked shocked momentarily, but she batted the tendrils away with seemingly little effort.

Finally, the gap in the center of the mass of tentacles widened. Summoning her cleats once more, Imperial reeled her foot back and stuck her tongue out, as if trying to decide where to kick. Then, with a small gasp of triumph, she delivered a sharp kick to the opening, causing the monster to disappear in a flash of light.

"Wow..." Steven said breathlessly, watching as Imperial bubbled the creature's spiky gem with a smile. "That was amazing! How did you do that?!"

Imperial opened her mouth to reply, only to be interrupted by Zircon. "Look!" she exclaimed, pointing to the ground. "The little ones are getting away!"

Indeed, the spines that the monster had shot at them earlier had grown tiny legs and were burrowing into the ground in an attempt to escape.

"Don't worry, I got it!" Bismuth said confidently, dropping Steven. She rushed over to one of the holes and dove, trying to shove her arm inside. She tried to shapeshift to be able to fit, but it was no use; the parasites had gotten away.

"I don't think they'll be much trouble!" Imperial mused, sending the bubble away. "They're too tiny to hurt anyone! I say we let them go."

Steven picked himself off the ground and ran over to give Imperial a hug. "You were so cool!"

"Uh, guys?" Bismuth said sheepishly. "I think I'm stuck." She was trying to pull her arm free from the hole, but even her immense strength seemed to be no match for the tiniest of gaps.

Zircon groaned. "Stay still. I'll help."

* * *

"Well," Steven proclaimed the next day, "we all worked hard, so I think we deserve a reward!"

"And just what exactly did you have in mind?" Zircon asked. The three Gems were trailing behind Steven as he led them across the boardwalk. His excitement made him walk faster, making it a bit difficult for them to keep up at a reasonable pace.

"I'm taking you guys to the best place in Beach City!" Steven continued, halting in front of a building the Gems barely recognized. "Behold, Funland Arcade!"

Zircon furrowed her brow, examining the flashy place with disdain. "Can't we do something else instead?"

Imperial tilted her head. "But there are no monsters attacking anything today. There isn't anything else to do."

"Hey, don't you need money for that place?" Bismuth asked. Steven smiled confidently.

"Don't worry! This one's on..." He opened his jacket, revealing pockets overflowing with golden tokens, "...me!"

The bright glow of the coins reflected in the sunlight caused each Gem to flinch and cover their eyes, but Steven didn't notice. Instead, he turned around and stepped into the arcade, the Gems following suit.

The room would have been dark if not for the large amount of flashing machines that illuminated everything. A few children were playing some of the games here and there, but for the most part, the room was empty.

"Welcome to a wonderland of futuristic gameventions!" Steven proclaimed, allowing the Gems to soak it all in.

"Hm...fascinating. Humans keep finding new and interesting ways to waste their time." Zircon mused, inspecting a nearby arcade machine. Before she could get a closer look, however, Steven grabbed her arm and lead her toward another nearby game.

"Zircon, check this one out! You'll love it!"

"Uh...if you say so...?" Zircon responded, setting down in the seat in front of the machine. A steering wheel protruded from the controls in front of her, and a small gas pedal rested beneath one of her feet.

"' _Road Killer_?'" she said inquisitively as she read the title of the game.

"Yeah! You just pick the car you like and go nuts!" Steven explained.

"B-but I don't have a license!" Zircon panicked. "Is this illegal? Can I get in trouble? Which one of these buttons is my turn signal?"

"None of them!" said Steven. "Have fun!" Turning around, he took his leave to help the rest of the Gems find games that suited them.

"Oh yeah! Kill the road!" a voice from the game said, causing Zircon to jump.

"I will do no such thing!" she retaliated.

* * *

"Bismuth!" Steven said, waving at the tall Gem when he saw her. "Come on, I'll show you how to play skee ball!"

"Oh, uh...alright!" Bismuth had absolutely no clue what Steven was talking about, but she followed along anyway.

Steven lead her to what looked like a miniature bowling alley. However, instead of pins, there were hoops with holes in the middle at the end of each lane. There was a slot next to each one, with tiny plastic balls lining the inside.

"Here!" Steven handed her a ball. "You just roll the ball into the hole, and if you get a lot of points, you can win tickets for prizes!" He pointed to a booth in the back of the arcade, where Onion was handing a mountain of tickets over the counter to Mr. Smiley.

"Whoa...Onion's a ticket master!" Steven said in awe.

"Hmm...prizes, huh? Okay! That sounds cool!" Bismuth tossed the ball up and down in her hand, and Steven smiled eagerly up at her.

"I knew you would like it!" he exclaimed. "Alright, have fun! I gotta go find a game for Imperial Garnet to play!"

"You have fun, sweetie!" Bismuth waved as he left, smirking at the skee ball lane. "Humans call this fun? This will be easy."

* * *

"Ah, Imperial! There you are!"

He waved over at the tall magenta Gem, catching her attention. "Come with me! I know the perfect game for you!"

"Okay!" Imperial chirped, skipping behind Steven as he lead her to an arcade machine.

"Here we are! _Teens of Rage_!" He inserted a coin into the game's slot and moved the joystick around to select a character.

"Hmm...you seem like a Joe Rock kinda gal!" he said, picking a spiky-haired blond boy who was flexing biceps that looked much heavier than the rest of his body.

"Let me think...his special move is...forward, forward, back, tap towards half-circle, medium-kick...wait, maybe that's an aerial move..." He paused in deep thought, noticing the look of utter confusion on Imperial's face.

"Uh, just punch and you'll be fine!" he clarified, watching her eye light up in understanding.

"No problem!" she said eagerly as the game started up.

The screen changed to a view of her character facing off against an anthropomorphic wolf.

"Come on, punk!" the wolf taunted, waving his fists. Imperial gasped at the insult and hurriedly rammed her fist directly through the screen of the arcade machine.

"That wasn't very nice!" she said, shaking her head in disapproval. Then, as if forgetting the previous events, she smiled enthusiastically at Steven. "Did I win?"

"Uhh..." Steven swallowed hard at the cracked-beyond-repair screen. "Let's just try something else!"

His eyes scanned the arcade in search of something new to play. Eventually, they rested on a nearby dummy with cartoonish blue skin and red boxing gloves. An idea formed in his head.

"Imperial, look over here!" He pointed to the new game. "This is _Punch Buddy_! You can actually punch this one!"

Steven inserted another coin into the coin slot, causing the dummy to speak.

"Come on, give it your best shot, kid!" it sneered, only to be sent flying by Imperial's fist.

"Tell my wife I'm sorry!" the dummy cried as it flew away, completely severed from the machine it once rested on.

"I did it! I won again!" Imperial cheered, practically jumping in place. "What's next? This is fun!"

"Uh...um...!" Steven felt sweat starting to form on his brow as he frantically searched for a game that Imperial most likely wouldn't destroy. "Let's try that one!"

He pointed at a game with a large screen and two ham-shaped controllers resting on an artificial "grill." They approached it together, Steven handing the ham to Imperial.

"This one is called _Meat Beat Mania_! There's no violence in this game. All you have to do is shake the meat to the beat!"

"Are you ready?" the game said as soon as it started up. "Let's meat it!"

A cute cartoon pig popped up onscreen, pointing in random directions. Steven watched with bated breath as Imperial started off slowly, gradually coming to a faster pace the more she played and shook the controllers in time with the pig's movements.

"That's it! Well done! Keep it up!" the game encouraged her. Imperial smiled at the praise.

"I like this one a lot!" she said happily, not missing a beat. Steven sighed in relief.

"Good! You play that one for a while, okay? I'm gonna go see how the others are doing!"

Imperial didn't respond. She merely continued to play the game, smiling widely at each compliment the announcer gave her. Steven shrugged and wandered off.

* * *

"You're horrible!" the game blared.

"Stop saying that!" Zircon snapped irritably, turning her in-game car.

"Hey, Zircon!" Steven called as he approached her. "Having fun?"

The blue Gem turned to him, her face flushed with anger. "Why am I doing so badly? I haven't crashed into anything!"

"What?" Steven looked at the screen. Sure enough, she was obediently following every rule of driving. "But you're supposed to crash into stuff!"

"Are you serious? That's horrible!" Zircon glared at the game with disgust.

"You're horrible!" the announcer repeated, eliciting a scream of frustration from Zircon. Nervously, Steven looked over at the skee ball lanes, only to gasp in shock.

"Bismuth!" he cried, "What are you doing?!"

Bismuth was sitting on top of the lane and dropping each ball directly into the center hole, beaming proudly at the stream of tickets that came from the machine at the other end.

"I'm about to win an airplane!" she responded proudly, dunking another ball in.

"You can't do that! That's cheating!" Steven protested. His eyes darted around the arcade in search of Mr. Smiley, praying that he wasn't nearby. "Oh, you're gonna get us in so much trou-"

"Hey," said a sudden voice from behind, "do you guys know what happened to Teens of Rage?"

Steven yelped when he turned around and saw Mr. Smiley himself looking down at him with a mixture of anger and concern.

"Run!" he yelled without answering, grabbing Bismuth's hand and practically dragging her away.

"What? But this place is fun!" the taller Gem said, reaching out vainly for her tickets.

"Zircon, we're leaving!" said Steven as he ran toward the exit.

"Uggh, it's about time!" Zircon replied, abandoning her game almost immediately. On-screen, her car crashed into a wall, prompting a cry of "you're fantastic!" from the announcer.

"Imperial?" Steven said, scanning the building for the aforementioned Gem. "Where are you? We're leaving!"

Suddenly, a scream erupted from nearby as Mr. Smiley raced to the destroyed _Punch Buddy_ dummy.

"Punch Buddy! What happened?! Who did this to you?!" he cried. Steven swallowed hard and shoved his companions out the doorway without looking back.

"Uh, I guess we'll see you at home!" he cried. Nobody responded.

* * *

The next morning was a relatively peaceful one. Steven was sitting at the table shoveling cereal in his mouth, while Bismuth stretched on the couch and lifted the coffee table up and down as if it were a weight. Zircon was absorbed in a book she was reading, barely paying attention to what was going on around her. Imperial Garnet, however, was mysteriously absent.

"So, what's today's mission?" Steven asked with his mouth full of cereal. "I hope it's...fighting a giant foot!"

"Huh?" Zircon murmured, briefly looking up from her book. "We're not fighting a giant foot, Steven. Even if we were, I'm sure Imperial would let us know."

"Yeah, she's the boss." Bismuth added. Zircon rolled her eyes.

"She's not the 'boss.' We're all a team. Despite how forgetful and confused Imperial may seem at times, she's actually quite observant, which comes in extremely handy."

"In other words," said Bismuth, dropping the table and stretching, "she's the boss."

Zircon glared at her, but returned back to her book with a huff. Steven swallowed some more of his cereal and asked, "So, where is she now? Fighting the foot?"

"She's not fighting the 'foot,' Steven. Imperial goes on missions without us all the time. Surely, whatever she's doing must be important." Zircon muttered, clearly annoyed about being interrupted while reading.

"Yeah, she can handle herself. Sometimes it seems like she's two people at once, y'know?" Bismuth smirked, turning her attention toward Steven. "Oh, that reminds me! Steven, Imperial told me she has a special mission for you."

Steven gasped and hastily wiped his mouth with a napkin. "Really?! What do I have to do?!"

Bismuth held back giggles. "She says you have to dunk your face into that bowl of cereal."

Steven gasped and nodded firmly, promptly shoving his head into the bowl and re-emerging with a soggy, milk-covered face and head. Bits of cereal clung to his hair, but he looked proud of himself. Bismuth erupted into laughter and clapped her hands together.

"Great job, Steven! You saved everyone from the foot!"

"For the love of Mercury, there is no foot!" Zircon snapped, slamming her book shut.

"Not anymore!" said Steven proudly. Zircon groaned and went toward the temple door, retreating into her room to read.

Steven wiped his face off with his shirt. "Welp, now that that's done," he said, "it's time to scan the beach for quarters with my..." From seemingly nowhere, he produced a metal detector with a dog's face on the base.

"Metal Mutt!" he proclaimed with a flourish. Bismuth chuckled and stretched again.

"Yeah, you have fun with that, kiddo!" she called after him as he ran onto the beach. "If you see any monsters, just scream and we'll hear you, okay?"

* * *

Steven scanned the beach diligently, holding the Metal Mutt over the sand. It had been a good fifteen minutes or so, but he was determined not to give up. Finally, the metal detector let out a series of beeps that sounding not unlike the yipping of a dog, causing Steven to gasp in excitement. Eagerly, he dug into the sand where the Mutt had started to go off and produced, much to his dismay, a silver coin.

"Aww, man!" he lamented, "A silver dollar? Useless!" Frustrated, he tossed it over his shoulder and resumed his scanning.

When the Mutt began to beep again, he sighed. "This better not be another cap..."

Once again from out of nowhere, he pulled out another metal detector. "Double Dogs!" he exclaimed, pressing them both firmly above the ground.

Eventually, the two Mutts' noses began flashing, signalling that they had discovered something. Quarters! he thought, reaching down to pick them up.

Then, all of a sudden...

"WAAAUGH!" Steven cried out in horror as a green, plant-like creature wrapped around his hand. He waved his arm around frantically, trying desperately to shake it off, until it soared into the air. He blinked, realizing it was gone, and looked up.

The creature was now in the shape of a star, but it immediately turned into a much more familiar form: that of a drill. Steven gasped and dodged as it came plummeting down toward him, dodging as several more sprung out of the ground.

He swung one of his Metal Mutts like a baseball bat in a split-second effort to defend himself. However, the little monsters easily sliced it in half and went flying past him, away from the beach.

"STEVEN!" two voices called in unison. Bismuth and Zircon ran onto the beach, fending off more and more of the drill creatures as they emerged from the sand.

"It's those little parasite guys!" Bismuth said, sidestepping and just narrowly avoiding one.

Zircon summoned her weapon from the gem on her jugular and swung rapidly at the parasites. However, even her calculated motions were no match for their sheer combined speed, as she soon toppled to the ground, dizzy.

"They're everywhere!" the blue Gem yelled. "Why didn't we see this coming?"

"We need Imperial!" Steven said, remembering her actions in the cave. "She's the only one who can stop them!"

"No way!" Bismuth replied, swatting away more parasites. "She can be fast, but not this fast! Besides, we don't even know where she is!"

Steven's heart sank. Of course. Imperial was probably on a mission, fending off other monsters, just like Joe Rock from _Teens of Rage_...

Joe Rock... _Teens of Rage_...a video game...

"The arcade! _Meat Beat Mania_!" Steven screamed suddenly, taking off in a frenzy toward the boardwalk.

"Steven! Where are you going?!" Zircon demanded, but he ignored her. He had a feeling he knew exactly where Imperial was and what she was doing...

* * *

Imperial Garnet was hooked.

The game was absolutely mesmerizing. She didn't know how long she had been playing, but she didn't care; she was doing wonderfully. The announcer was heaping new, constant praise upon her now. She liked the announcer. She liked the game.

Steven was right. This was a fun pastime. She had to thank him for bringing her here later on, but for now, she had to keep playing. Left. Right. Up. Down.

"Imperial!" Steven panted, ducking into the arcade. "Imperial, come quick! Those little parasite things are attacking the city, and they're becoming a huge problem!"

But Imperial didn't notice him. She just kept moving, waving her arms furiously. Left. Right. Up. Down.

"Whoa..." Steven murmured as he watched her movements. "I've never seen anyone get this far!"

She thought she could hear something then, but she blocked it out. She was having fun. Left. Right. Up. Down.

"B-but," the boy continued, "you gotta get back and help the others!"

She had been moving at this pace for a good while now. It was coming easily to her, not that she minded. Left. Right. Up. Down.

"Imperial? Come on! Zircon and Bismuth are in trouble!" Steven climbed on top of her shoulders, waving his hand in front of her face. "Gah...why...are you...so hard to...climb?!" Then, with a slip of his hand, he accidentally smacked her glasses off of her face.

Steven gasped. Imperial had _three eyes_. He always figured that she had two other ones beneath her glasses, but actually seeing them was a great shock. They were all moving around in what looked like different directions, flashing with the light of the screen.

"Oh my gosh!" He fell off of her shoulders and landed on the ground with a thud.

Imperial felt as if her vision had suddenly gotten clearer. This was good. This was perfect. Left right up down.

"D-don't worry! I'll save you, Imperial!" Steven crawled behind the machine, and with one determined tug, he unplugged _Meat Beat Mania_.

For a moment, everything was quiet. Steven sighed in relief. Had she finally snapped out of it...?

No. Something was wrong. Imperial could no longer see the flashing of the screen, hear the gentle encouragement of the announcer. That wasn't right. She had to keep moving left right up down left right up down left right up down-

She let loose a _zap_ of plasma from her hands. The electricity caused the machine to spark to life, and Imperial resumed her movements, going left right up down left right up down left right up down.

Steven groaned in exasperation. "The rhythm has her..." Glancing over at the game, he suddenly shook his head resolutely. "The only way to defeat the beat...is with the meat!"

He inserted another quarter into the game's coin slot, lifting up two controllers that resembled chicken drumsticks. Immediately, a chicken popped up onscreen next to the pig. "Let's meat it!" the announcer said cheerfully. "Prepare your meats! Shake it! Tenderize!"

Steven got into a battle stance, holding the drumsticks out with a firm grasp. As soon as the chicken began pointing, he diligently moved the controllers in the indicated dire-

"Player one wins! You're toast, player two!"

Wait, what? Steven's head whirled over to Imperial, amazed. There was no way he could keep up with the speed of her movements. He had no idea she could even go so fast in the first place...

...But he had to do this. For her, for the Gems, for Beach City. He slid another coin inside and kept playing.

"Eat it up! A player two barbecue!"

Steven waved his arms frantically, feeling his pockets get lighter with each restart. He was beginning to run out of quarters, but he was determined to break his caretaker out of this strange trance.

Imperial, meanwhile, barely noticed the second player. She barely noticed anything now. All she could think about was left right up down left right up down left right up down _left right up down left right up down_ -

"This...is...IT!" Steven tried one last time to defeat Imperial, but was almost instantly beaten. Frustrated, he threw the controllers to the ground. "I can't do it...Imperial, what's wrong with you?"

The magenta Gem said nothing, eyes flashing and darting around like mad. It was no use. She was long gone.

"No! You've got to stop!" Angrily, Steven grabbed the grill in front of the screen and began tugging as hard as he could. "Stop...playing...this horrible...GAME!"

 _BRZZT_! Steven nearly fell back when the grill was ripped off of the machine, finally causing the screen to flicker into blackness once and for all. Just for good measure, he began repeatedly bashing it into the screen, making sure there was no possible way it could be reactivated again.

Imperial blinked, her eyes slowly regaining focus. She surveyed her surroundings curiously, almost as if she had forgotten where she was. Her memory was hazy, but she forgot all about it when she saw Steven destroying the _Meat Beat Mania_ machine.

"Steven?" she asked hesitantly, catching his attention.

"Imperial!" he shouted, leaping away from the wreckage and wrapping one of her legs in a hug. Imperial laughed slightly, completely unsure why she was being embraced in the first place, and looked over at the damaged game.

"Did you win?" she said. Steven opened his mouth to reply, but a sudden angry voice cut him off.

"HEY!" Mr. Smiley marched up to him, full of rage. "It was you! You're the one who's been breaking my games!"

Steven gasped in fear, but before he could defend himself, Imperial raced out of the building and rejoined her comrades. "Hey, guys! What's up?" she greeted them, accidentally stepping on a parasite and causing it to disappear in a cloud of green smoke.

"Hey, wait! I can help too!" Steven tried to run after her, but Mr. Smiley grabbed him by the back of his shirt and pulled him back.

"Oh, no, no, no! Don't you go flippity-flopping out of here!" the man warned, turning him toward the broken machine. Steven swallowed hard. Uh oh...

* * *

Steven sighed as he swept the debris from the floor for what felt like the hundredth time that day. He snuck a glance through the doorway and smiled when he saw Imperial skipping around, dodging parasites without even noticing that they were there. With her, the Crystal Gems seemed to be getting their act back together.

"Yeah! Go, Imperial!" he cheered, waving his broom in the air. From nearby, Mr. Smiley gave him a stern glare, and he quickly began sweeping again.

"I'm working, I'm working! See?" Steven said nervously, eyebrows raising as he looked at the ground. "Hey, a quarter!"

As he bent down to pick it up, admiring the battle going on outside, he could have sworn he heard the voice of the announcer saying, "Now you're cooking!"

* * *

 **Hello, Gemswap fans! I just want to remind anyone who hasn't been made aware that I will mostly be posting on Archive of Our Own now, so I strongly suggest checking out my account over there first! I will reupload any fics I write there over here, but expect to see updates there first, including this fic!**

 **It's been fun here on FF, but AO3 has a much better system for writing and tagging stories. I'm NOT abandoning this site completely, but I will be posting here less frequently.**

 **Anyway, next chapter is Giant Woman! Hooray, first fusion! Stay tuned!**


	11. Giant Woman

The calm breeze of the ocean blew across the beach as the seagulls cawed from their rocky perches. Waves lapped at the shore, the foamy tide turning the sand dark brown. A few feet away from the sea, Steven was perched on a tall lifeguard's chair, water balloons tucked next to him. Sitting below were Bismuth and Zircon, staring intently at a game of checkers.

"Hm...aha!" Bismuth exclaimed triumphantly, moving one of the red pieces forward. "Gotcha, Zirc!"

"Wow, Bismuth, I'm almost impressed!" Zircon said, nodding in approval. She suddenly screeched in surprise as Steven dumped a water balloon onto her from above.

"Now it's your move, Zircon!" the boy called down.

"Steven," the blue Gem said in agitation, "are the water balloons _really_ necessary?"

"Yeah!" Steven replied. "This way, the moves really matter!"

"It's checkers! Every move matters!" Zircon protested, wiping the water off in disgust.

Bismuth chuckled good-naturedly and twirled an orange dreadlock around her finger. "If I didn't know any better, I'd say you're bein' a sore loser right about now, Z."

Zircon spluttered indignantly, but a smirk soon crossed her face. "I'm not a sore loser," she said confidently, "because I just won the game!" With one move, she jumped Bismuth's last remaining checker, seizing it with a proud puff of her chest.

"Whaaat?" Bismuth gasped in mock defeat. "Oh noooo, here it comes!" She laughed happily as Steven dumped all the water balloons onto her, laying down in the sand. "Y'know, I normally can't stand losing, but if it's this fun, I don't really mind."

Zircon pursed her lips in a passive-aggressive manner. "Yes, well, losing in _battle_ isn't nearly as amusing."

Bismuth sighed and stretched as she got up. "You think I don't know that? Geez, Zirc, I love ya, but you take everything way too seriously sometimes. This is why we can't form Calsilica anymore."

Zircon rolled her eyes. "We don't form Calsilica because you're rowdy and overconfident."

Bismuth grabbed her chest as if wounded, a mixture of anger and genuine hurt on her face. "We don't form Calsilica because you're uptight and-"

"GUYS!" Steven interrupted, leaping between them. "What is Calsilica?"

Bismuth blinked, then smiled. "Oh, yeah, you don't know what fusion is, right?" She scratched her head, trying to think of a good explanation. "It's kinda like...me and Zircon, mashed together."

Zircon snorted. "Is water just hydrogen and oxygen 'mashed together?'" When she was met with a blank stare, she sighed. "Nevermind. Look here, Steven." She projected a screen from her monocle which displayed two Gems dancing and combining into one. "When Bismuth and I synchronize our forms, we can combine to form a powerful fusion Gem called Calsilica."

"Yeah, except I don't dance like that," Bismuth joked, poking at the screen for emphasis and accidentally causing it to disappear (much to Zircon's chagrin).

"Wow!" Steven shouted, starry-eyed. "Tell me more about Calsilica!"

Bismuth leaned in close and moved her hands theatrically. "Well, Steven, she's an ultra powerful…" Her face twisted into a corny smile. " _Stone-_ cold Betty!"

Zircon groaned at her pun, but Steven didn't mind. He listened attentively, eyes wide.

"She's also got kind of a big nose - that's from Zircon." she said in a confidential whisper, giggling when the blue Gem shot her a dirty look.

"What Bismuth's trying to say is that Calsilica is an amalgamation of our physical and magical attributes combined into a single entity." she explained.

"Whoa, can you do it right now?!" Steven cried, practically jumping in place. "Come on, form Calsilica!"

Bismuth snickered at his eagerness, but Zircon firmly shook her head. "We only form Calsilica when it's absolutely necessary."

Suddenly, a flash of light erupted from the windows of the quiet beach house in which the temple resided. Steven gasped and ran forward, calling out, "Imperial's back!"

Indeed, Imperial Garnet had just warped back into the temple after another successful mission. Steven and the rest of the Gems raced inside, and she waved amiably at them when they entered.

"Did you bring me anything?" Steven asked excitedly. Imperial smiled.

"Yes! I think you'll like it very much!" Proudly, she held out a rock in the palm of her hand. Steven immediately seized it with gratitude.

"Wow! A rock! Thanks, Imperial!" he said as he began examining it in fascination.

"So, I take it the mission was a success?" Zircon asked hopefully. Imperial nodded.

"Yep! I found out where the Earth and Heaven Beetles are! I think we should split up to get them, if that's okay with you."

"I'll come with you!" Bismuth offered, stepping forward. "Where are they?"

Imperial paused to rack her memory as Steven began absentmindedly gnawing on the rock she had given him. Zircon spoke up impatiently.

"I would prefer to go alone. I don't really want to go on a mission with grammatically incorrect people." She shot a glance at Bismuth, but Steven raised his eyebrows.

"Is her talking about me?" he asked inquisitively.

Imperial ignored him. "I'm pretty sure the Earth Beetle is in the middle of a constant thunderstorm, and I can't get hurt by lightning because I control plasma! So, you guys should go look for the Heaven Beetle at the top of the...Sky Spire? Yeah, the Sky Spire. It's safer!"

Bismuth faked a yawn. "That sounds boring-er to me."

"You mean _more boring._ " Zircon corrected. Bismuth, oblivious to her snobby tone, smiled.

"See? Zircon agrees with me."

The blue Gem rolled her eyes and marched to the Warp Pad. "Come on, you two. Let's get this over with. I've got things to do."

Steven dropped his rock and hurried after her, but Imperial put a hand on his shoulder tentatively.

"Um...Steven?" she asked timidly, rubbing the back of her head. "Can you just make sure that they get along, please?"

Steven winked and gave her a thumbs-up as he stepped onto the Warp Pad. "You got it!" he told her. "This mission is going to be all about HARMO-" Before he could finish, a flash of light enveloped the three of them, transporting them to the Sky Spire.

"-NY!" Steven finished, collapsing on the ground. Dizzily, he picked himself up, gaping in awe at the majesty of the tower before him.

Beyond several floating pillars of land was an enormous piece of rock with stairs curling all the way around it. They were protected by sturdy walls made of polished white marble (though Steven figured that nobody had been able to polish it for years), and a hooded doorway served as the entrance to the winding staircase. At the top, Steven could vaguely make out some kind of round structure, but he was too far down below to see it clearly.

"Whoa…" he muttered, "Is this where the Heaven Beetle lives?"

"It would seem so." said Zircon with a nod.

Bismuth whistled. "Allll the way at the top."

The sheer largeness of the spire reminded Steven of his conversation with his teammates that morning, and thoughts of Calsilica quickly flooded his mind again.

"So, when you guys fuse, do you turn into a _giant_ giant woman, or just a regular giant woman?" he asked, eyes darting back and forth between the two of them. Bismuth groaned with a slight chuckle, but didn't answer. "Does one of you control the right arm and the other control the left arm?"

"Come on, Steven." Zircon said curtly, briskly walking away with Bismuth not far behind. Steven rushed to keep up with them.

"Wait, these are extremely important questions!" he cried as they approached a lengthy stairway. "Wow, these are a lot of stairs! Maybe you two should form Calsilica and give me a piggyback ride!"

"No." Bismuth and Zircon replied in unison. Steven sighed and resumed his incessant questioning.

"What about if you guys eat a hot dog? Whose stomach does it go into? Do you guys share the same stomach?" He giggled at the thought. "Eww, that would be gross!"

Suddenly, the bushes in front of them began to rustle menacingly. Zircon summoned her cane, while Bismuth shapeshifted her arm into a hammer, both of them ready to attack if necessary. However, they heaved a sigh of relief when an ordinary mountain goat stepped out of the foliage and started gnawing at some grass.

"Oh, no!" Steven yelled. "It's a magical goat guardian! Quick, you have to form Calsilica before it kills us all! It's the only way!" He peered up at them expectantly, but neither of them looked amused.

"Steven, for the last time," Zircon grumbled impatiently, "we only fuse in deadly situations! Does this look like a deadly situation to you?!" She held out her hand for emphasis, only to shriek in pain as it was bitten by the goat. "OW! Why, you cheeky little-"

Bismuth's laughter drowned out the rest of her insult. She toppled over in a fit of mirth, wheezing as Zircon continued to chew out the animal that bit her.

Steven ignored them and sighed. "Aw, man...now I'll never get to see Calsilica…" Sadly, he began to sing as the wind blew through his hair.

" _All I wanna do_

 _Is see you turn into a giant woman._

 _A giant woman!_

 _All I wanna be_

 _Is someone who gets to see a giant woman."_

Zircon and Bismuth looked at each other and shrugged, dragging Steven along with them as he continued to sing.

* * *

" _All I wanna do_

 _Is help you turn into a giant woman._

 _A giant woman!_

 _All I wanna be_

 _Is someone who gets to see a giant woman."_

The three of them were climbing up a steep ledge. Luckily, there were ladder-like carvings in the wall that allowed them to safely scale the rocky chunk of land. As Steven sang absentmindedly, Zircon's foot briefly slipped, accidentally causing bits of rock to fall all over Bismuth's face, as she was just below her.

Bismuth coughed and looked up at Zircon reproachfully. The blue Gem spluttered and tried to explain herself, but Bismuth solemnly urged her to continue.

* * *

" _Oh, I know it'll be great_

 _And I just can't wait_

 _To see the person you are together if you give it a chance!_

 _You can do a huge dance_

 _Because you are a giant woman!"_

Steven's singing was distracting to Zircon as she tried her best to balance on a series of rocks to make it across a stream. She was doing pretty well at tuning him out, but that combined with Bismuth slipping and falling onto her ultimately resulted in her collapsing into the water.

* * *

The three Gems were crossing a rickety wooden bridge solemnly, Zircon clutching tightly at the rope supporting it. For a while, they traversed in silence, until Bismuth elbowed Steven playfully and began jumping up and down, causing the bridge to bounce. Steven laughed and joined in, shaking the already unreliable pathway they were walking on.

Zircon's head whipped around sharply, and she marched over and began to lecture her comrades, pointing an accusing finger at Bismuth as she did so. As the two began arguing, Steven intervened and wrapped both of his arms around them in an attempt to get them to reconcile. When that didn't work, he began singing again.

" _You might even like being together,_

 _And if you don't, it won't be forever,_

 _But if it were me,_

 _I'd really wanna be a giant woman._

 _A giant woman!"_

Neither of them seemed impressed, and they both wrenched themselves free from his hug. Steven watched, crestfallen, as they crossed the bridge without another word.

* * *

" _All I wanna do_

 _Is see you turn into a giant woman."_

Steven finished his song glumly as the three of them reached yet another floating platform of land. He turned around and looked at the little mountain goat that he had brought along with him, only to jump back in surprise when it bleated loudly in his face and leaped across the series of platforms in front of them gracefully.

"Wait up, Steven Jr.!" the boy cried out, attempting to leap after him. He was stopped by Zircon's protective arms wrapping around him, instantly stopping him.

"Good grief, Steven, what are you doing?!" she cried, yanking him back. "You can't make those jumps! It's far too dangerous!"

"Hm…" Steven put a hand to his chin in thought. "What if you guys formed Calsilica and laid across the gaps like a bridge?"

Zircon rolled her eyes. "We don't need Calsilica to get across."

"Aw, c'mon!" Steven pleaded. "Can you do it anyway? Pleeeease? It would be easier, wouldn't it?"

Bismuth cracked her knuckles confidently. "Not as easy as this!" Effortlessly, she picked Steven up in one of her large hands and stretched her arm all the way across several gaps, depositing him on a faraway platform. "That's about as far as I can take ya while still keeping you in our line of sight!"

"Whoa! Bismuth, that was a really good idea!" Steven called back at her. Bismuth puffed out her chest in pride.

"Aw, shucks, kid, I'm full of 'em." she said, rubbing the back of her head. Zircon swallowed hard, her eyes fixated on Steven.

"Bismuth, are you sure it's safe to leave him there? He's pretty far away…" she mumbled anxiously. Although Steven couldn't hear her from where he was, he could tell she was nervous just by looking at her posture.

"Hey, don't worry, Zircon! It's safe! Look!" He began to jump up and down on the platform, laughing at the way the weight of the ground seemed to shift beneath his feet. This only caused Zircon to become even more worried, and even Bismuth seemed a little concerned. Cautiously, she took a step forward to reach the next platform, but then…

"AAAAHHH!" Steven suddenly screamed as he lost his footing, plummeting through the sky. The wind ripped fiercely at his back, and he could just barely make out screams not too dissimilar from his own coming from Bismuth and Zircon.

The two Gems immediately sprang into action. Bismuth lifted up Zircon in one hand and gripped her tightly, elongating her arm to a ridiculous degree and whipping it toward the falling Steven. Zircon wasted no time and reached out, grabbing him tightly as they met in midair.

All three of them exhaled a large sigh of relief as Bismuth pulled her arm back up. She placed Zircon and Steven on the ground behind her, rubbing at the arm she had just stretched. Meanwhile, Zircon put a hand on one of her companion's large shoulders in an effort to catch her breath, as she was panting profusely.

"Whoa…" Steven said in awe, watching the two of them closely. "It was super cool seeing you guys work together like that! Why don't you do it all the time?"

Startled, the two Gems looked at each other in surprise. Bismuth gave Zircon a wide, awkward smile, but the other Gem blushed profusely and turned away, coughing. Slowly, Bismuth's face changed to a look of disappointment, and the three of them sadly continued onward.

* * *

By the time they reached the top of the Sky Spire, it felt as if hours had gone by. As far as Steven was convinced, his legs were not too far away from giving out, and he could feel the effort it took to inhale in every step.

"I can't feel my legs anymore…" he gasped as they exited the large, dome-like structure at the top of the tower. Then, when he saw what was in front of them, his eyes widened. "Hey, look at that! It's a tiny temple!"

Sure enough, there was a miniscule building roughly the size of a small dollhouse. Surrounding it was a deep pool of crystal-clear water, kind of like a moat. Fortunately, it did not block the direct path to the temple itself, and Steven ran forward to inspect it. He peered inside a tiny window to have a closer look at the interior.

"This is where Imperial said it should be. The Heaven Beetle must be inside." Zircon said matter-of-factly, relieved that this journey was finally coming to an end.

"Aww, check it out!" Steven laughed. "It's got a little beetle bedroom and little beetle bongos and a little beetle baby book!"

Indeed, the inside of the temple was surprisingly advanced. He even saw what looked like a video game console and a television at a far corner of the room, along with some potted plants in another window.

"But where's the beetle? It's supposed to be here! The Heaven Beetle wouldn't leave, would it?!" Zircon asked worriedly, one of her eyes scanning the inside of the temple. "Oh, where could it possibly be?!"

Bismuth cautiously approached her and put a hand on her shoulder. "Hey, hey, calm down, Z. I'm sure it's around here somewh-"

"But what if it isn't?!" the blue Gem interrupted, grabbing at the sides of her head desperately. "I can't believe this! The Heaven Beetle is gone, and you don't even care!"

"Hey!" Bismuth looked deeply offended. "It's not my fault the beetle isn't there! You're overreacting!" As the two argued, the goat that Steven had dubbed "Steven Jr." began to baa repeatedly. Neither of them noticed.

"I'm not overreacting! If anything, you're underreacting!"

"That isn't even a word!"

"Oh, don't you DARE lecture me on vocabulary!"

"HEY! Cut it out! You're scaring Steven Jr.!" Steven shouted, trying in vain to break the feuding Gems apart. Then, all of a sudden, a low rumble came from the water. The three teammates stopped and listened, fear brewing in their stomachs.

Suddenly, a monstrous, bird-like creature flew from the moat, screeching like a banshee. It had muddy brown "feathers" and no discernible eyes, but it seemed to know exactly where the Crystal Gems were, as it darted toward them with alarming speed. Its mismatched half-purple, half-brown beak opened wide as it lunged and swallowed Steven Jr. whole.

"My son!" Steven gasped, tears welling up in his eyes.

Hastily, Zircon summoned her cane and threw it at the monster, but it merely opened its beak again and gulped it down without ceasing its attack.

"Come on, in here!" Bismuth said, motioning toward the bigger temple. Quickly, Steven and Zircon followed her, breathing heavily in a combination of terror and desperation. By the time they got inside, the creature's beak was sticking through the doorway.

"It swallowed my cane!" Zircon shouted, dumbfounded.

"Guys, this is great! It's the perfect time to form Calsilica!" said Steven. He winced when the bird monster flew up and began pecking furiously at the wall, but that didn't completely get rid of the optimistic look on his face.

Bismuth and Zircon looked at each other uncertainly. Steven had a point. With their combined power, that creature surely wouldn't stand a chance...right?

The two gave each other firm nods and bowed, their gemstones glowing. Zircon clicked her feet on the floor and spun around, extending her arms. Meanwhile, Bismuth flipped her hair back over her shoulder and moved her own arms back and forth, up and down, in an extremely angular fashion. She gave Zircon a playful wink, causing her face to flush.

Shaking her head, the blue Gem continued her tap dance routine. She hopped from one foot to the other, steadily making her way toward her partner. Bismuth raised her hands above her head in a motion not unlike a stretch and effortlessly reached out to grab Zircon's waist. Unfortunately, as she attempted to dip her, Zircon's hand slipped and smacked her in the face. This caused Bismuth to nearly drop her on the ground, her head hitting the floor.

Steven cringed at their lack of cohesion, but his eyes widened when their bodies began to glow and merge. Was this it? Was this fusion? Were they finally going to-

Nope. In what seemed like less than a second, both Gems were repelled away from one another, collapsing on the ground and rubbing their heads.

"Well, that could have gone better." stated Bismuth. "Wanna try again?"

Zircon scowled. "Only if you make your movements less distracting."

"Distracting?" Bismuth stood up. "How was I distracting you? You should know how I dance by now. It's been over five thousand years!"

"Guys, stop!" Steven interrupted. "Now isn't the time to fight! If you don't fuse soon, I'm gonna get eaten...by a GIANT BIRD!" As if on cue, the monsters giant beak finally punctured the ceiling, snapping up Steven in one fell swoop.

"STEVEN!" Bismuth and Zircon cried, but to no avail.

Steven tumbled down a surprisingly spacious pink tunnel, landing with a thud in front of what he hoped against hope wasn't human remains (though they most assuredly were). As he picked himself off the ground, he noticed that there were quite a bit of random objects scattered about here and there, including swords, a shopping cart, and…

"Steven Jr.!" Steven ran toward the goat, who was sitting at the top of a junk pile and chewing on something. "How can you eat at a time like this?"

When the goat turned around to face him, however, Steven's eyes widened. Inside Steven Jr.'s mouth was a small yellow bug with a tiny green gemstone on its upper back. He knew enough about Gem stuff to know what that was.

"Is that the Heaven Beetle?" he asked no one in particular, despite knowing the answer. "Let me see it!" He tried to wrench the bug from the goat's mouth, but its teeth were firmly grasping the creature. "Hey, be a good mountain goat and give me the magic bug!"

After what seemed like forever, Steven Jr. finally couldn't hold on anymore. The boy snatched the beetle from him triumphantly and held it up. "I got it!" When the goat tried to snap at it with its teeth, Steven quickly pulled his hand away. "No! Bad goat! You're no son of mine!"

All of a sudden, without warning, he heard a sickening noise that sounded like both a squelch and a crack. He turned around, horrified, only to be met with a large, pale blue arm jutting out of the fleshy pink "ground" of the bird's stomach.

He screamed and tried to run away, but another arm popped up right in front of him. The more he tried to get away, the more arms kept showing up, until one of them wrapped itself firmly around the waist of the goat and yanked him down with it.

"Steven Jr.!" cried Steven, momentarily distracted. Unfortunately, his lack of awareness was what managed to help the mysterious arms to grab him as well, pulling him through the bird's stomach and...outside?

Steven blinked, dazed, as he realized what was going on. He was being held by...someone. He couldn't see them clearly, but whoever it was most definitely had four arms and was carrying him securely. Even though they were miles and miles above the ground, Steven felt safe in the stranger's comforting and oddly familiar presence.

The bird was gone now. Steven noticed it when he looked up to try to get a better look at the person's face. Instead of one giant bird, there were now several tiny ones, and none of them looked happy at all.

SPLASH! For a split second, Steven was submerged in water, but that quickly changed. The strange person who was holding him finally stood up, sunrays flickering over the water droplets that dripped down their body. They put him down, and Steven finally realized who they were.

"Calsilica…?!"

The fusion said nothing. She merely stared intently at the flock of angry birds that were darting toward them at a high speed. Steven took a moment to analyze her appearance, and saw that she indeed possessed characteristics of both Zircon and Bismuth. Her hair curved upwards instead of down, but there were rainbow-colored stripes in it that reminded him of Bismuth's own rainbow dreadlocks. She did indeed have four arms, mildly muscular in shape, and she was wearing a small apron that looked almost like a cube, kind of like Zircon's suit.

Before he could look at her some more, she suddenly grabbed him again and took off, sliding down the ceiling of the spiral staircase that lead up to the top of the spiral. When they reached the ground, she hopped deftly across every floating platform, planting her feet firmly on the biggest one, near the end.

"Stay low." she said in a surprisingly serious voice. With one arm moving toward her neck and another to her chest, she produced two familiar items: Bismuth's chain and Zircon's cane. The two weapons also fused together, creating a pair of nunchucks.

The birds were still on their tail, and Steven was surprised at how fast they were able to catch up to them. That wasn't a problem for much longer, though, as Calsilica began swinging her nunchucks at an incredible speed. Her movements were like lightning as she twirled and twisted both her body and her weapon, bashing every single bird that dared to fly within her presence. Finally, after what felt like only a few seconds, the monsters were gone, leaving only clouds of smoke in their wake.

Steven gaped at her as she turned to face him. Her periwinkle skin stood out against her tan apron. She had a monocle like Zircon, and he could make out the gemstones of both of his companions on the jugular and chest of the fusion. She smiled at him amiably, and Steven felt his voice finally return.

"Uh...do you...remember who I am?" he asked nervously. Calsilica chuckled.

" _All you wanna do...is see me turn into…_ " she sang softly. Steven gasped.

"A giant woman…"

* * *

Imperial Garnet was just dusting off the last bit of soot from her body when the loud flash of the Warp Pad startled her. She turned around with a tiny shriek, only to exhale in relief when she saw who it was.

"We're back!" said Steven cheerfully. Calsilica waved, and Imperial smiled and waved back.

"Hello, hello! Wait...weren't there three of y-" Suddenly, she noticed the two gemstones on Calsilica's chest and gasped. "Ohhh, I see! Did you guys get the Heaven Beetle?"

Suddenly, the fusion gasped and opened her eyes. "I don't have it!" she exclaimed before disappearing in a flash of light. Soon, Bismuth and Zircon were on the ground, looking dazed and panicked.

"Bismuth! I thought you had it!" Zircon yelled, pointing an accusatory finger at her.

"I swear, I didn't! I thought emyou/em had it!" The other Gem held up her arms defensively, looking more distressed than angry.

"Don't worry, guys!" Steven said, reaching into his pocket and producing the Heaven Beetle. "I got it!"

"Yaaay! Great job, Steven!" said Imperial. She gently took the beetle from him and put it into a tiny cage she had sitting on the counter. Inside was another beetle with the same gemstone on its back and a gray color scheme. Carefully, she bubbled the cage and tapped it, sending it to the Burning Room. "How did you get Bismuth and Zircon to fuse? They haven't done that in...hmm...14 years or so, right?"

The two Gems in question blushed, but something about Imperial's words caught Steven's attention. 14 years ago? He was 13…then wouldn't that mean-

"Ahem," Zircon cleared her throat, rising to her feet, "Bismuth, I would like to...apologize for all of the harsh criticisms that I gave you during our mission. I suppose I should have been a bit more understanding." She reached out a hand to help her teammate up.

"Hey, no problem, Zirc!" said Bismuth cheerily, putting a hand on her shoulder. "I'm sorry for bein' a bit too reckless at some points. Sometimes I get carried away. If it helps...I liked fusing with you." Zircon's face turned a darker shade of blue than normal for what felt like the hundredth time that day.

"And all I had to do was get eaten by a bird!" Steven exclaimed, ruining the moment. Imperial didn't seem to notice, however, and she patted him on the head affectionately.

"Steven, I can't predict the future, but I bet you're going to be great at fusing one day!" she said. The boy beamed at the praise.

"Yeah…" Suddenly, the impact of her words hit him. "Wait, I can do that too?!"

* * *

 **Aaaand that's another chapter in the bank! This one was fun to write, especially considering that it's our first real fusion in the series besides Imperial Garnet, of course. I designed Calsilica long before this fic was three to four chapters long, I believe. She was one of the earliest names I had in mind for potential Bismuth fusions too! I decided to go with calsilica as a gem because it's mostly blue, like Zircon, but with a lot of other colors as well, like Bismuth.**

 **Anyway, next chapter will be So Many Birthdays! This episode was what solidified Steven Universe as a show with some darker moments in it, and I have some...ideas in mind for the particularly feelsy scene near the end. I mostly write angst, after all. Anyway, feels aside, stay tuned!**


	12. So Many Birthdays

The boiling heat of Bismuth's room was so intense Steven wondered how he had been able to tolerate it the last time he was there. The pools of lava radiated a stifling aura that seemed to summon the sweat pouring down his body. Besides him, the only other Gem that seemed affected by the heat was Zircon.

"I swear, Bismuth," she panted, "could an air conditioner really be that bad of an investment?"

The taller Gem shrugged. "It's not so bad, really. It's kinda relaxing when you get used to it!"

"Well, if we don't fix that leak soon, it won't be very relaxing for the rest of the temple!" Zircon snapped. "We need to look for a crack in the floor somewhere…"

"Like this one?" Steven asked, pointing at the ground. Sure enough, there was a large crack, and lava was dripping from the edge of one of the pools and down into the gap.

"Hmm...according to my calculations, this does seem like the exact placement of the crack in question." Zircon concluded with a small nod of her head. "So, how do we fix it?"

"Don't worry!" Imperial butted in. "Bismuth asked me to bring something! Now, where did I put it…? Ah, here it is!" From seemingly nowhere, she produced a small bucket and a trowel, which Bismuth took from her gratefully.

"Thanks, Imp." she said, opening the container full of concrete. "It's been a long time since I've done any architectural work." She scooped up some concrete with the trowel and set to work filling up the gap.

Steven, meanwhile, took the time to survey the room. While he had been here before, he was mostly in a rush to try to convince Bismuth to have breakfast with him, so he didn't really have time to absorb his surroundings. Quickly, a painting on the wall nearby caught his attention.

"Whoa…" he muttered, stepping closer to investigate. The painting was of several people, including Bismuth, Zircon, and Imperial, who all appeared to be dressed in VERY old-fashioned clothing. They were riding in a boat, and Zircon and Bismuth were attempting to rescue a drowning human while a few others watched. Imperial's arms were spread wide in excitement, accidentally smacking an incoming shark in the face. What intrigued Steven the most, however, was the blue lady that was accompanying them on the ship, manipulating the water to aid their journey.

"That looks like you guys and my mom!" he said without thinking. Zircon's head whipped around at the mention of the words "my mom," eyes brightening with enthusiasm.

"Oh, Steven, that _is_ us!" She clapped her hands eagerly. Steven's eyes widened.

"Really?!"

"Oh, dear," said Imperial, adjusting her glasses, "I really didn't mean to hit that poor shark."

"Why's everyone dressed so old-timey?" Steven asked.

"Well, this picture was painted in the year 1778 just off the coast of Havana, Cuba, and-" Zircon began, before Bismuth interrupted her.

"It was made a looong time ago." she stated simply, chuckling at Zircon's annoyance.

"Wait, wouldn't that mean…" Steven paused to ponder over just how long ago 1778 was, gasping when he realized that it was, in fact, a loooong time ago. "How old are you guys?!"

"Much older than any human, that's for sure!" Zircon said, opting against stating their exact ages for the sole purpose of avoiding further interruption.

"Does this mean you'll live forever?!" Steven asked, starry-eyed. Zircon shook her head.

"Oh, no, no, no. You see, we may not be able to age, but we can still die if our gemstones are subjected to enough physical damage."

Steven's smile faded at the thought of his caregivers getting hurt, but knowing that they were unable to grow old fascinated him beyond belief. "I can't believe you guys are a bazillion years old! How do you find a cake big enough for all those candles?"

"Oh, that's easy!" said Imperial. "We don't!"

Steven gasped. "What?! You mean you don't celebrate birthdays?!"

"Nope! Why, should we?" Imperial looked concerned, as if she had been called out for making a mistake.

"You will now!" Steven declared, crossing his arms in determination. "I can't just ignore this travesty of injustice! I pledge that you will have your birthday parties, filled with all the cake, candy, and ice cream that you've been denied!"

"Sounds good to me!" Bismuth chimed in. She had finished repairing the crack in the floor, the concrete hardening almost instantly due to the intense heat. "How do we start, party boy?"

Steven turned to her with a smile, rubbing his hands together. "I'm glad you asked…"

* * *

The atmosphere on the beach was festive and merry, just as Steven had planned. Tables and chairs with balloons tied to them were set up in a quaint fashion, while a picnic blanket lay spread out on the ground. The sweet scent of cake and other snacks permeated the air, and in the center of all the festivities was a large throne where Bismuth sat, wearing a fluffy red and white cape. Imperial and Zircon sat on simple beach chairs in front of her.

"Aaaand the birthday queen is Bismuth!" Steven proclaimed, placing a big red crown with a fake candle on top onto the Gem's head. "I hope you like it! Dad made me this outfit, and it brings me special birthday luck every year!" He produced a plastic toy microphone and eagerly began to sing.

" _Ohh, it might as well be your birthday,_

 _So why don't we have a party,_

 _Even if your age isn't real and your bodies are an illusion?"_

He was quickly interrupted by Lion, who was gnawing at a blue party hat. Steven groaned and snatched it away, wrapping it onto the lion's head.

"No, no, Lion! It goes like this!" he said matter-of-factly. The feline didn't seem to get his message and began to bat at his head with one of his watery paws, trying to remove the strange headgear. "Lion, you're killin' me…"

Zircon cleared her throat awkwardly. "Um, Steven…" she said, examining a balloon with a smiling face drawn on it in marker, "I know you put a lot of effort into...putting faces on things, but could it be that we're just a tad _mature_ for this ritual?"

Suddenly, Bismuth leaned in to her comrade's face, a yellow party hat tied around her nose. Slowly, she got closer and closer, until their faces were almost touching, and then…

"Boop!" the muscular Gem giggled, pressing her hat against Zircon's nose. The blue Gem gasped indignantly, her face flushing.

"Y-YOU WILL REMOVE THAT THIS INSTANT!" she exclaimed, chasing after her teammate.

"Wait, wait!" Steven yelled, putting a hand on Bismuth's arm and handing her a wooden baseball bat. "Here, take this!"

"Uh...Steven, I appreciate the gift, but I'm not gonna bludgeon Zircon to death. Especially not with a weapon as terrible as this." She made to snap the bat in half, but Steven stopped her.

"No, no! It's for the piñata!" explained Steven. He swiftly retrieved a stick with a brightly-colored paper mache donkey dangling from it. Bismuth looked at it curiously, but she barely had any time to get a closer examination before she felt a blindfold being pulled over her eyes.

"Whoa, what's this?" Instinctively, she reached a hand up to remove it, but Steven stopped her with a hand over hers.

"No, you have to keep it on. That's part of the challenge!" He held up the piñata and waved it around. "Just swing the bat and try to break it open!"

Bismuth scoffed and tossed the bat over her head. "Pfft, I don't need this! I got something much better!" Confidently, she changed one of her arms into a replica of the baseball bat and began swinging blindly.

Steven yelped and dodged her powerful blows, quickly handing the piñata to Imperial. Bismuth's bat-shaped arm made contact with the other Gem's head, but she didn't show any signs of pain. The only people who could withstand Bismuth's immense strength were her fellow comrades, after all.

"Am I getting closer?" the muscular Gem asked, continuing to hit her friend. Imperial, unaffected by the blow, looked back and forth between Bismuth's arm and the piñata.

"A bit higher!" she said as she adjusted her sunglasses.

Smirking, Bismuth lifted the blindfold ever so slightly to take a quick peek and slammed the piñata hard into the ocean. Steven couldn't even see where it landed; it was too far away for him to see.

Bismuth took off her blindfold with an exhilarated "Whoo!" and turned to face the boy with a wide grin. "That was actually pretty fun!" she said. "What's next?"

"Um...well, you were _supposed_ to break open the piñata and get the delicious candy inside…" Steven stammered, still looking out over the ocean in disappointment. Bismuth gasped.

"You had candy the whole time?" She shook her head, a giggle rising in her throat. "Man, that would've been _sweet_ to know about!"

In the distance, Zircon let out a loud, drawn-out groan of annoyance. Steven ignored her and patted Bismuth's arm consolingly. "Don't worry! There will be more treats at Zircon's party!"

The blue Gem's head shot up, confusion etched all over her face. "My what?"

* * *

The cape fit oddly over Zircon's angular frame, the crown awkwardly placed over the large curl that her hood created. It was somewhat uncomfortable, not to mention quite bothersome, but for Steven's sake, she forced herself to ignore it.

A cupcake was placed in front of her, though she didn't touch it. Each of her companions had been given one as well, the sweet pastries decorated with a bright pink icing that matched the fabric of the picnic blanket they were sitting on.

"Happy birthday!" Steven exclaimed, his face decorated with white makeup. A red outline was painted around his lips, and a fake red nose was strapped over his real one. He honked it loudly, laughing as he straightened his rainbow wig.

"Lookin' good, Stee-man!" Bismuth said, clapping her hands. "Loving the rainbow, though I gotta say it looks a bit familiar. You aren't trying to copy me, are ya?"

"No, no," Steven reassured her, "it's supposed to be funny!"

Zircon glanced with growing bafflement at the low-hanging white tank top that replaced the boy's usual bright blue one and the oversized flip-flops on his feet. "How so?" she asked.

Steven opened his mouth to explain, but decided against it. "Oh, geez, I'm breaking character." he muttered, digging into the pocket of his shorts. "Don't worry, I got some jokes!" He produced a series of crumpled-up papers and hastily unfolded them, selecting a joke a random. "'Why did Zircon throw butter out the window?'"

Bismuth snorted in laughter at the dark blue flush that encompassed Zircon's face. "You did _what_?"

"To see a _butter fly_! Get it?" Steven finished, spreading his arms for emphasis.

"Ohh, is that how you do it?" Imperial wondered aloud, turning to face her teammate. "I see them almost every day when the weather is warm, but I thought they came out of little cocoons."

"I-i would never do such a thing!" the blue Gem stuttered, straightening her back indignantly. "You can't prove that I did! Where's your evidence?! I demand to see a lawyer for this libel!"

"What? No! It's a joke!" Steven hastily tried to explain, frantically searching for something to quell her anger. His eyes rested on a picnic basket behind him, and an idea formed in his head. "Hey! Zircon, do you like pie?"

"Pi?" she responded. "Yes, I suppose I do. I gave up trying to find the end of it, though."

Steven, who had no clue what she was talking about, decided not to question her. Instead, he reached into the basket and produced a freshly-baked lemon meringue pie.

"Well, you're in luck! I baked you one!" He took an exaggerated step forward. "I sure hope nothing happens to it!"

"That would be a shame, indeed." Zircon said flatly, slightly disappointed that this wasn't the type of pi(e) that she had in mind.

"Whoa!" Steven suddenly shouted, pretending to trip. "Oh noooo!"

Unfortunately, before he could complete his masterfully-crafted comedy routine, Zircon immediately rushed to his side and stopped him from falling face-first into the creamy pastry.

"Steven!" she cried. "Are you okay? What did you trip on? Do you need medical assist-"

She was interrupted when Steven shoved the pie into his own face, splattering icing and filling all over himself. She shrieked and leaped away from it, desperate not to get any on herself.

"See? It's funny!" Steven said, the makeup melting off of his face. Zircon, incredibly disturbed, moved to hide behind Imperial and whispered to her.

"Zircon says she doesn't want to party anymore." the magenta Gem said gently, hoping not to hurt his feelings.

"What?" Steven removed his wig, his curly black hair practically springing out in its wake. "Oh, this isn't going like it should…I've got to pull the ultimate birthday party!"

Zircon glanced at her friends in a panic, subtly shaking her head. Sadly, her protests were largely ignored, overshadowed by the curiosity of her comrades.

"Not again…" she murmured, rubbing her temples exasperatedly.

* * *

Steven was practically bouncing with excitement as he lead the Gems over to the empty lot some distance away from the Big Donut. Instead of regular cars, it only housed three tiny ones; one red, one yellow, and one green.

"You guys are gonna love this!" he exclaimed, gesturing to the small vehicles. "It's Kazoo Racers!" He produced a kazoo from his pocket and blew in it for added effect. "You get in a car, you play a kazoo...what more could you want?" He blew into it again and handed three more to his caretakers. "Dad used to do this for me every year!"

Zircon eyed the instruments with disdain and whispered to Imperial (who was now donning the birthday garb), "I think this is why aging makes humans die."

"Well, this DOES sound like fun…" said Imperial, reluctantly taking a kazoo, "but, um...I don't think we really need these."

"Why not?" Steven asked, disappointed.

"Oh, Zircon thinks this is for human children. Right, Zircon?" Imperial turned to her companion, oblivious to her shame and embarrassment. The blue Gem stuttered and tried to explain herself.

"W-well, it's nothing against children!" she said. "It's just...our age is an illusion, and we can't really celebrate a birthday if we don't remember when we were born or how old we are!"

"But everyone gets birthdays!" Steven pouted. "Seriously, give it a try! You're never too old!"

"I don't think we can fit in those things!" said Imperial, bending down to examine a car curiously. She pressed a finger to a button in the middle of the steering wheel, jumping when the horn let out a beep.

"You can totally fit! You just, um…" Steven approached a car and tried to step inside. "You...uh…"

"Don't worry! I can fit!" said Bismuth, shapeshifting into a toddler and clambering into a small green jeep. "Hey, this is pretty cool! Which way to the baby war?" She stepped on the gas pedal, speeding ahead. "WOOHOO! Nobody can catch me now!"

Steven paid no mind to Bismuth as she drove away, whooping in delight. Instead, he glanced down at the remaining Kazoo Racers, sadness creeping into his heart. He remembered, almost as if it were a dream, how easily he used to fit in those cars. He didn't realize just how much time had passed since then.

"What if birthdays are just for little kids? What if even I'm too old?" he asked gloomily. Bismuth screeched to a halt next to him, clambering out of the car.

"Nahh, I bet you can fit!" Effortlessly, she lifted him up and tried to shove him in the car. He tried his hardest to squeeze in, but all his attempts proved useless. No matter how hard he strained, he could not fit inside the car. He let the Gem release him, wedging his behind firmly into the small vehicle.

"Oh…" Bismuth trailed off, "Well, hey, cheer up, buddy! Sometimes you just gotta mature over time. Y'know, unless you're us."

Steven sighed. His thoughts were elsewhere, despite Bismuth's attempts to comfort him. Zircon raised an eyebrow, concerned.

"Are you okay?" she asked.

"I just need to think. Kazoo Racers suddenly seems...undignified." Downtrodden, he stood up, not caring that the car was still stuck to his backside, and walked away, lost in thought.

* * *

The dark clouds obscured the once-bright sky as Steven paced aimlessly around the boardwalk. He didn't have a specific destination in mind; he just needed some time to think, and he thought best when he was surrounded by his favorite places.

"I never realized birthdays meant leaving things behind," he said aloud, his tone uncharacteristically reflective, "All these parties are starting to become so embarrassing!"

Without realizing it, the gem on his back began to glow, and Steven barely felt his form change as it did. His body got longer, taller, and his face became dotted with acne. Small traces of facial hair began to emerge from his cheeks and upper lip, but only barely. He vaguely felt his clothes seem to shrink and get tighter, but that didn't concern him. He was still too lost in thought.

He walked past Funland Arcade, sighing as he saw Onion inside. "Oh, Onion...so young, so innocent…" he trailed off, shaking his head in dismay. The younger boy tilted his head curiously, but didn't say anything as usual. Steven shook his head and stepped inside, not noticing as Onion quickly broke the machine's money deposit open and scrambled to grab all the quarters that fell out of it.

Steven sighed as he surveyed the row of arcade machines. " _Whacker Man Jr._!" he cried upon seeing a Whack-A-Mole-style game in the corner of the room. Eagerly, he reached out a hand to grab the mallet, but caught himself and pulled it back.

"Ooh, I can't be seen playing a childish game like that!" he muttered, feeling ashamed of himself. "I'll just stick to more sophisticated games, like regular _Whacker Man_." He turned to a nearly identical game right next to _Whacker Man Jr._ , sliding a coin into the slot.

"It's whackin' time!" cheered the announcer. "You're gonna get whacked!" A mole wearing a suit and fedora popped out of one of the holes, and Steven giggled before smacking it with the mallet. Despite his depressed demeanor, he was always a sucker for _Whacker Man_. He continued to play, momentarily distracted from his existential crisis.

"Well, that was fun," he said when he finally stopped playing, "but a boy on the cusp of manhood can't spend his whole day whackering." He trudged out of the arcade, continuing his gloomy stroll down the boardwalk. The sky seemed to be getting darker, but Steven didn't care. Potentially getting rained on was the last thing on his mind.

Suddenly, he came to a halt in front of a T-shirt shop. In the window was a large sign that read, "Help Wanted." He stared at it for a good long while, turning the words over in his mind. He was thirteen years old (but was he really? He didn't feel like it anymore); could he even work?

He shook his head resolutely. "I need to take control of my life!" he declared, his gem glowing again. "It's time to get a proper job!"

His body began to grow and change yet again. This time, hair began to grow on his arms and legs, a dark stubble forming on his chin. As he spoke, his voice gradually got deeper, losing its cracks and high pitch. He entered the store.

"Hm…" he murmured, looking around at all the shirts. "Which one?" He pushed the shirts aside, reading the words printed on them with a critical eye. " _Surf Master_? No. _Love Doctor_? No, I'm too squeamish…" His eyes lit up when he saw one that read, " _Professional Beach Hunk_."

"Aha! This is the job for me!" He took the shirt to the counter, paid for it, and ducked into a changing room. He was too lost in thought to look in the mirror, preoccupied with how tight his old clothes seemed to feel as he tore off his signature blue tank.

The new shirt was comfortable and just high enough to expose his navel. As he walked out of the store, he let out a fatigued yawn.

"This day went so fast…" he remarked, looking at the cloudy sky. "I need a pick-me-up." Wearily, he made a beeline for the Big Donut, aging more and more with every step until he became a middle-aged man with balding hair.

"Two of the usual, please," he said as he entered the restaurant, not even bothering to greet Sadie and Lars, "I've had quite a day."

Lars tilted his head, mystified. As far as he knew, he had never seen this weird old man before in his life. "You must be confused, pal," he remarked lazily, "I work here everyday, and I have no idea who you are."

"Oh, hardy har, Lars." grumbled Steven, taking a seat. "I used to make jokes, too."

The two employees looked at each other, slightly creeped out by the fact that the man knew his name. Lars gave Sadie an inquisitive look, but she shrugged. She was just as in the dark as he was.

"But y'know what?" Steven continued. "I've been thinking, and I now realize that sometimes you gotta smarten up and act like an adult, because if you don't, everyone you know is gonna grow up without you. And then you won't have little Steven to pick on, because I'll be an adult, too."

Sade froze. "Steven...who?" she asked, swallowing a lump in her throat.

"Steven Lazuli Universe! Who else?!" He pointed at a nearby donut case, his finger resting on a chocolate-frosted dessert. "I want THAT donut, right over- AHHH!"

He nearly jumped out of his seat when he saw his own reflection in the glass of the display. Sadie and Lars were more than a little unnerved at this point, especially when Steven leaped up to get a closer look, frantically pressing his face against the glass.

"Uh, sir, are you okay?" Sadie asked nervously. Steven whirled around to face her, shock and terror etched all over his features.

"I'm OLD!" he wailed.

"And nuts," Lars muttered under his breath.

"I'm going to have to eat fiber cereal!" Steven continued, oblivious to their discomfort. "All my teeth are gonna fall out, and then I'll have to eat sugar-free oatmeal! SUGAR-FREE!" As his distress grew, his gem glowed, causing his hair to grow longer.

"I need to reverse this! I need some kind of reverse birthday!" he lamented as Sadie gently placed a hand on his shoulder to console him. "Wait...the king costume!" Desperately, he turned to Sadie and Lars. "Will you help me into my birthday suit?"

Their eyes widened in disgust. Sadie immediately retracted her hand, and Lars backed away slowly. Steven screamed when the woman roughly shoved him away, grabbing a chair from nearby and waving it at him threateningly. He dashed out of the Big Donut as fast as his old legs could carry him, hearing the crash of the chair behind him as he did so.

"Yeah, you better run!" Sadie yelled, holding up another chair angrily.

Steven panted hard as he ran down to the beach, wincing when he felt a sharp pain in his back. The agony was so great he was reduced to limping, clutching at his side to prevent himself from toppling over.

"I'm...getting...too old...for this…" he wheezed, growing a large gray beard. He could feel the absence of teeth in his mouth when he moved his tongue with each word, and the combination of fear and fatigue caused him to collapse.

He heard footsteps (or, more accurately, pawsteps) above his head. Weakly, he looked up, barely making out the watery figure of Lion; his vision was fading.

"Lion…" he managed to gasp out, and the creature understood. He placed his wet face underneath the now-old Steven and hefted him onto his back, padding away toward the temple.

The Crystal Gems were busy cleaning up all the party decorations, not noticing Lion in the distance. Zircon carefully rolled up a blanket and hefted it over her shoulder, dusting off her hands.

"This is more fun than any of the parties he threw us." she remarked with a small laugh.

"You know, you don't have to keep wearing that if you don't want to." Bismuth said, addressing Imperial. The magenta Gem was still wearing the birthday crown and cape that Steven had given her, but she looked content as ever.

"I like it!" she responded. "It makes me feel important!"

Suddenly, Lion bounded in front of them, catching all of them off-guard. When the water feline bent down, the old husk of flesh that was formerly a thirteen-year-old boy fell onto the sand. The Gems gasped, horror coursing through their bodies as they stared at the wrinkled, withered Steven.

"STEVEN!" Zircon was the first to react, blinking out of her shock and rushing over to examine the poor old man. "What the devil is wrong with him?!"

"H-he's okay!" Bismuth stuttered, not sure if she believed her own words or not. "He's just...really, really old…" Her voice melted into despair the more she talked, but she refused to show her true emotions externally.

"WELL, OF COURSE I KNOW THAT!" Zircon was breathing heavily, her pupils shrunken. "Oh, dear, oh dear, oh dear...Gems can't die from aging, but he's half human!"

"There has to be some way to fix him!" Bismuth cried, looking around with determination. When Steven opened his mouth to speak, all three of the Gems leaned in close to hear.

"My…" He licked his dry lips. "My birthday suit might help…" Immediately, Imperial ripped off her cape and crown, and the rest of the Gems helped her put it on Steven.

"Good as new!" Bismuth said, faking a smile. Nothing happened. The Gems started to grow desperate.

"Thanks, guys," Steven rasped, "but I guess this stuff's all out of birthday magic." His beard grew longer, his skin more wrinkly. "We had a good run, huh?"

Imperial, who had been struggling to think of something to say or do, spluttered out a, "More birthdays! More birthdays!" She grabbed her friends, her grip abnormally strong, and ushered them toward the party decorations.

"H-hey, check it out, birthday boy!" said Bismuth, shapeshifting into a car. Imperial sat down in one of the seats and pretended to drive her. "Look, see? I'm a tiny car!" Imperial made a noise imitating a car horn.

"Kid's...stuff…" Steven said, barely audible. He began to age more rapidly. Zircon began to panic and started to pace back and forth, wringing her hands and trying to fight back tears.

"Uh...piñata time!" Bismuth hastily transformed into a crude imitation of the piñata from before, but Steven didn't even acknowledge it. She changed back, confused anger burning in her eyes.

"It's not working…" said Imperial, her voice shaky and unsteady. Furiously, Bismuth grabbed Zircon and thrusted the clown outfit into her arms.

"Zircon, stop walking around and DO SOMETHING!" she practically growled, handing her another pie that Steven had carefully packed in a picnic basket.

"I-i can't!" Zircon shrieked, trembling.

"Don't be a quitter! Do it for Steven!" She barely gave Zircon enough time to change before she shoved her in front of the old man with more force than necessary.

"I...um…" Zircon was on the brink of tears. "I have, um, what appears to be a delicious pie! I sure hope nothing h-h-happens to i-" She broke off, choking on her own words. Steven wasn't even looking at any of them; instead, he was staring blankly at nothing, his short breath coming out in ragged, uneven patterns.

He was dying.

Zircon snapped. "I can't do this!" she cried, dropping the pie to the ground in a fit of anxiety. "I can't watch this! I can't! I can't!" She began shaking violently, hyperventilating as she collapsed to the ground in sobs. Bismuth was livid.

"Are you TRYING to kill him faster?!" she roared, pounding the ground in rage. "Don't you dare give up, you hear me?!" She grabbed Zircon by the shoulders, but the blue Gem pulled her into a tight hug, burying her face in her shoulder. Bismuth tried to wrench her free with a cry of, "Get off me!", but it was no use.

Imperial couldn't take it anymore. She stood up, marching over to Steven. The eye above her glasses was screwed shut, but she knew exactly where to go. She grabbed him firmly, the rest of the Gems watching her with stunned silence.

Then, she broke down.

"Please," Imperial gasped, tears streaming from beneath her shades. She tried to form more words, but the only thing she could force out was, "please." She shuddered and heaved with each sob, her voice cracking until it developed into a wail of despair. She shook Steven desperately, trying to do something, _anything_ to bring him back to normal.

"Don't go," she finally managed to shriek, "don't go!"

Bismuth practically pried her away, ignoring her anguished protests. "What do you think you're doing?!" she yelled. "Get away from him!"

"I don't want him to die," Imperial replied, her face and hair messy with tears and sweat, "It's not fair!"

"Both of you, snap out of it!" Bismuth began to argue with the other two. "Stop crying! We can do this! We have to!"

"It's hopeless!" Zircon cried. "What _can_ we do?! First Lapis, and now-"

At the mention of Lapis, Imperial's sobs increased, and Bismuth tugged at her dreadlocks impatiently. "DON'T talk about Lapis!" she snapped.

The yelling was the only thing that caught Steven's attention. He weakly lifted his head, forcing his mind out of the hazy fog that seemed to envelop it, threatening to drag him down forever. Even blinking was a chore to him, as every time his eyes closed, he felt himself getting dangerously closer to the fog taking over. Nevertheless, he mustered all his strength and watched his caretakers.

He could barely hear them, but he knew that they were arguing. He had never seen them like this before; Bismuth was pushing everyone around, Zircon was covering her ears as if to block out the world around her, and Imperial was crying profusely. They were behaving like children.

"Would…" His weakened vocal cords struggled to form the words, but his anger motivated him. "Would you guys just please...control yourselves?!"

Suddenly, he stood bolt upright. The Gems gasped, their eyes rooted to him, watching his every mood. Without realizing it, he had transformed back into a young adult. Steven blushed nervously, turning into a teenager.

"Oh, uh, sorry," he stammered, "I shouldn't have yelled. I just…" With a flash, he was an adult again. "Can't stand to see you freaking out like this!"

Zircon blinked rapidly, clearing out the tears from her eyes. Swallowing a lump in her throat, she said, "Wha-?"

"Steven!" Imperial shouted. "Y-you're changing!"

"Your gem! It must be your gem!" exclaimed Zircon. "Your age is fluctuating based on your state of mind!"

"Steven!" Bismuth demanded, shoving her friends aside to look him in the eyes. "Stop feeling old!"

Steven looked down, turning back into a teen. "But I already wasted so much of your time…" In the blink of an eye, he was an old man again, nearly on the brink of death. "We all have so...little...time…"

"STEVEN!" all three of the Gems screamed, panic and confusion in their voices.

"You have to feel like yourself! You're sweet and considerate and only occasionally obnoxious!" Zircon said, trying to speak loud enough so that he would hear with his old ears.

Sure enough, it worked, and Steven was a teen again. "You really think I'm all those things?"

"Yes!" Imperial nodded furiously. "Yes, yes, yes!"

"Come on, buddy, why else would you throw us all those parties?" Bismuth encouraged, remnants of worry lines still on her face. Steven gasped.

"Oh my gosh, you're right! I am pretty great!" Suddenly, there was one final flash of bright blue light. The Gems covered their eyes, nearly blinded by the flash. When they looked back, a sight they never thought they'd be so happy to see greeted them. Steven was a kid again!

He barely had time to react before he was pulled into the biggest hug he'd ever experienced in his life. The three Gems wrapped their arms around him, heaving sighs of relief and sobbing tears of joy. His face was peppered with kisses from all sides, leaving him gasping for air.

"Guys!" he protested, secretly enjoying the attention. "I can't breathe!"

"Oops! Sorry, little buddy!" said Bismuth as the Gems backed away. "Whew! That was a close one."

"You can say that again!" Zircon sounded utterly exhausted. She flopped down in the sand, for once not caring about how uncomfortable it felt. Steven chuckled when Imperial placed a hand on his shoulder.

"It's so great to have you back, Steven!" she said warmly, her usual boundless optimism restored. "But, um...you might want to work on the rest later."

Curiously, Steven looked down. His legs were still adult-sized, giving him a comically disproportionate upper half. He laughed and began examining them, bouncing them up and down. The Gems sighed. At least he was somewhat back to normal…

For now.

* * *

 **Well, that was depressing! Yay, angst! Unfortunately for our heroes, even more awaits them...but that's for a later date! I enjoyed writing the Gems' reactions to Steven's aging very much. It was interesting to think of how they would respond to such a situation!**

 **Next chapter is kind of a unique one: Lars and the Cool Kids! I know I don't normally do human-centric episodes often, but since Lars is going to play a large role in the future, I figured it would be best to give him some character development! But if Steven doesn't have regeneration powers, how will Lars come into play...? Well, once again, that's for later! Stay tuned!**


	13. Lars and the Cool Kids

Zircon shook her head, gazing down at the icy swamp with a look of disapproval. Patches of ice had accumulated over the surface of the water, covering it completely. It stuck to the cliffside and rocks, ruining the once-beautiful scenery with its unsightly presence. The weather outside was hot and sunny; this ice was unnatural, and it had to go.

"This is awful," she complained with distaste, "Lapis never would have let it get this bad."

Steven, however, did not appear to share her sentiments. He was leaping across the rocks, laughing in exhilaration. He nearly slipped and tumbled off of his perch, but he quickly regained his footing with a chuckle. Curiously, he reached down to poke at some of the mysterious ice fragments slithering along the water.

"Whoa, cool!" he said. "What's this doing here?"

"Steven!" Zircon cried. "Don't go near that stuff!"

"Don't worry," said Imperial, lifting up a huge rock, "I got it!" With little to no effort, she threw the rock at the ice, shattering it into pieces before Steven could touch it. The force of the boulder's impact sent Steven flying, but Bismuth reached out with an elongated arm and safely caught him.

"Nice of you to drop in!" she said with a wink, causing Zircon to groan.

"You have to be more careful!" the blue Gem chastised, taking the boy from Bismuth's arms and setting him down.

"Why?" He looked down at the swamp, where a duck had settled down on a log. Then, ominously, the ice inched its way up until everything on the log, including the duck, was frozen solid.

"What is that stuff?" he asked.

Imperial put a hand to her chin in thought. "I don't remember it ever being here before! Lapis always used to take such good care of this place..."

"My mom used to come here?"

"Yep!" said Bismuth, nodding sagely. "This was like her little sanctuary. She made this swamp herself! Carried the water from some dirty lake and cleaned it all out. She would feed the fish and take care of this place all on her own."

"Yes, but now that Lapis is..." Zircon winced. "...gone, there's no one to care for the water! I don't know where all this ice came from, but I have a theory that Lapis froze it herself to protect it and then never returned to restore it to normal."

Steven frowned, looking down at the ice sympathetically. "It's lost," he remarked sadly.

"If that's what you wanna call it, then sure." Bismuth shrugged. "I think it's kinda weird."

"That may be so," said Zircon, "but Lapis must have had her reasons. She always had a reason behind everything she did, even if it was 'weird.'" She adjusted her neckerchief and cleared her throat, signalling that she wanted everyone's attention. "Luckily, I know just what to do in such a situation!" From seemingly nowhere, she produced a bright yellow roll of police tape.

"What are we going to do with that?" Imperial asked. "Nobody died here, did they?"

"No, no," said Zircon, displaying an image of the tape on a screen she summoned from her monocle, "According to my research, humans are required to turn away and leave upon seeing this tape! This way, we don't have to use magic!"

"I'll take that, then!" said Bismuth, snagging the tape from the blue Gem (much to her annoyance). She raised her arm in a pitcher's pose, aiming at Imperial. "Think you can catch this?"

Imperial blinked. "Probably. Why?"

Bismuth smirked and threw the roll as hard as she could. "'Cause I'm not holding back!" With an excited shriek, Imperial reached out and grabbed the roll of tape as the Gems, including Steven, set to work blocking off the entrance to the swamp.

Imperial leaped from tree to tree, twirling the tape around them like it was a streamer. Steven tied some tape around his waist and spun in circles around a rock, panting hard. Bismuth was using another roll as a lasso, wrangling random objects with it. Finally, Zircon tied some into a large bow, blocking the way out to anyone who was smart enough to obey the tape's commands.

"Perfect!" she said with a satisfied nod. "Now we can come up with a plan to restore this swamp to its former glory!"

"Yeah!" Steven pumped his fist in the air, excited at the prospect. Suddenly, his stomach let out a low growl, and he clutched it in embarrassment. It didn't take them long to block off the swamp, but that didn't mean he wasn't hungry from the work.

"Who wants to get lunch?" he asked enthusiastically. None of the Gems responded; in fact, they didn't seem interested at all. Once again, Steven flushed and rubbed the back of his neck sheepishly. "Just me, then? ...Nice." With a sigh, he stepped under the tape and started making his way back to the Warp Pad.

* * *

Steven hummed to himself as he strolled along the boardwalk, feeling the warm air hug his back. On a day like this, when the heat was so intense, most people were eating ice cream, but he was in the mood for something more filling. His eyes lit up when he saw Fish Stew Pizza in the distance, and he sang a little tune.

"Gettin' me a p-p-p-p-pizza! Gettin' me a pi, gettin' me a 'za!" As he resumed his humming, however, he saw a familiar figure leaning against the wall of the shop. "Hey, is that Lars?" he wondered aloud. Sure enough, the redheaded teen was trying to look casual, his back to the wall. Occasionally, he would make furtive glances through the window. "Hey, Lars!"

Lars jumped at the mention of his name, sighing when he saw Steven eagerly approaching him. "Please not now..." he murmured.

"Hey, Lars, guess what?" said Steven, raising his hand. "I got a high five for you from waaaaayy down town!" He ran toward his friend, preparing to lay the sickest high five ever on the brooding teenager, but he was stopped when Lars reached out and grabbed his arm.

"No, Steven!" he hissed anxiously. "No high fives!"

Steven blinked, but he was undeterred. "Okay!" he responded, putting his hand on Lars' chest instead. Lars sighed and slapped his hand away, annoyed.

"How come you aren't at the Big Donut?" asked Steven innocently. He was determined to have a conversation, that was for sure. Lars sighed in resignation and hastily tried to explain himself.

"I don't spend my whole life at work," he said simply, flipping his jacket over his shoulder, "I do...other things."

Steven looked around, unsure what Lars was referring to. As far as he could tell, there was nothing particularly exciting going on today. "Like...standing against this wall?"

Lars gritted his teeth impatiently. "What does it look like?"

Steven shrugged. "Looks like you're doing a whole lot of nothing!"

Lars couldn't help but smile, though it was more at himself than Steven. "That's the plan," he said, "I'm just playin' it cool today, y'know?"

"We are so much alike!" Steven beamed, joining Lars against the wall. The teenager frowned.

"Excuse me?"

"You want to get a fresh pizza right out of the oven, but you don't want to seem too desperate, right?" he asked. "Well, there's no need to be ashamed! Just walk right in and ask! That's what I always do!" To prove his point, he marched toward the door, a look of cool confidence on his face. Lars paled and made furious gestures with his hands.

"Wait, Steven! Don't go in there right now!" he stammered. Steven opened his mouth to reply, but his attention was grabbed when he looked through the window of the restaurant. Three other teens were inside, enjoying a savory-looking cheese pizza. Kiki was beside them, only half-paying attention as she mopped the floor.

"So, then," said one of the teens, a girl who looked an awful lot like Kiki, "he opened the door, and there was doggy doo everywhere." She laughed and flipped a brown bang out of her face.

"That's nasty," remarked another boy with a slight laugh, "I don't like nasty stuff." Though his eyes were obscured by thick shades, his voice and smile made it quite clear that he was at ease. He had spiky brown hair that looked vaguely familiar to Steven, but he couldn't quite remember how.

Finally, his gaze rested on another oddly familiar teen. He wasn't saying anything, but Steven could tell that he was invested despite the headphones over his ears. He was relatively pale, with white hair to match. For a moment, Steven thought he remembered seeing him with Onion.

"Isn't that Kiki's twin sister and her friends?" he finally asked, turning back to Lars.

"Jenny, Buck, and Sour Cream." Lars confirmed curtly, praying that they hadn't been spotted.

"Oh, so you know them?"

Lars winced, a tinge of red forming in his cheeks. "N-not quite, but...I'm sure we'll hang out at some point."

"You should go in and talk to them!" encouraged Steven. Lars' eyes widened, and he waved his hands frantically.

"Th-that's not how these things work, Steven!" he exclaimed. "They're gonna think I'm a weirdo or something! I have to just stand here, be cool, and let them come to me!"

Steven glanced through the window again, where the group of teens were waving goodbye to Kiki. They started getting up, collecting their things as they did so.

"Here they come!" Steven informed, and Lars jumped in a panic.

"Quick, Steven! Turn around! Act natural!" the teen said anxiously, pressing his back hard against the wall. He felt his heart begin to beat faster and faster as dread slowly filled his stomach. Steven attempted to follow suit, but chose instead to focus on the door of the restaurant (as opposed to Lars, who was pointedly avoiding any sort of eye contact with the group of teens).

"Tell Dad I'll be back later!" the girl, Jenny, called before stepping outside. Her friends trailed behind her, neither of them taking note of the two boys leaning against the wall. Instead, they walked right past them and toward a parked car decorated to look like a pizza.

"I don't think they saw us," Steven pointed out, but Lars didn't seem to care. He had a look of desperation on his face, his eyes darting back and forth between the group and the car.

"Gaahh, it's no use!" he grumbled, shooting an angry look Steven's way. "You were blocking me with your...big hair!"

"Sorry! I'll go tell them to look over here." Steven smiled, unfazed by Lars' annoyance, and started off in the direction of the cool kids. Lars began to panic again, trying to call out to him as quietly as possible.

"Steven, wait! Don't go over there!" he pleaded, his heart pounding furiously in his chest. He felt butterflies well up in his stomach when Steven appeared unable to hear him, continuing to approach the small group until he finally got their attention.

Lars facepalmed angrily. "I hate you," he grumbled, though the words seemed hollow and forced.

Steven just managed to catch the last bits of the cool kids' conversation (something about muffins that were too sweet) before they turned toward him, eyebrows raising good-naturedly.

"Hi! My name's Steven!" he said eagerly, raising his hand for a high-five. The teenagers were unperturbed by the stranger who spoke to them, instead welcoming him with easy-going smiles.

The brown-haired boy was the first to accept the high-five. "Buck Dewey." he said nonchalantly, the sunlight glinting off of his dark shades in a way that seemed almost impossibly cool to Lars (not like he was paying attention or anything!).

"They call me Sour Cream." said the pale boy, reaching out a thin hand that did not match the thick hoodie that covered the rest of his body.

"And I'm Jenny!" the girl said with a charming grin, a grin that reminded Steven of her sister. He could see why Lars wanted to be friends with these guys.

What is he doing?! He's gonna wreck everything! Lars thought to himself as he observed the conversation from afar. He couldn't hear what anyone was saying, but he was sure that things could go horribly wrong at any minute. Sure enough, Steven began doing a goofy dance, and Lars suddenly felt the overwhelming urge to curl up in a hole and die. My life is horrible.

"Hey, Lars!" Steven suddenly called, running up to his friend with a wave. Lars groaned silently and prayed for death, quickly striking a more casual pose to avoid arousing suspicion.

"Yo," he said simply.

"They invited us along for a ride!" Steven cheered. Lars blinked wildly, stammering as he tried to comprehend what he just heard.

"Wha- they...you? Huh?!" No, no, that didn't make any sense! Normally, he would have been ecstatic to receive such an offer, but with Steven?! It had to have been a fluke. There was no way he had already been accepted into their social circle within a matter of minutes when Lars had been trying for weeks.

"Y-you must have gotten lucky!" he finally spluttered out. "Please, please, PLEASE don't ruin this for me, alright? I've got a lot riding on this!"

Steven pointed finger guns at him and gave him a comical wink. "Pew pew! You got it!"

Lars facepalmed, but the thought of sitting in the same car as the cool kids was enough to get him to follow the boy, albeit begrudgingly. He had been waiting for this day for quite a while, after all. Together, they walked back to the pizza car, where they were welcomed with open arms.

"Hop on in, guys!" said Jenny, clambering into the driver's seat. Sour Cream called shotgun and slid down in the passenger's seat, leaving Steven, Buck, and Lars in the back.

"Alright, middle seat!" Steven exclaimed, allowing Lars to get in first before sliding comfortably next to him. Buck sat on his other side, and Lars felt his heart race as it really hit him: he was in a car with the cool kids.

"Where'd you get that rad shirt, Steven?" Buck asked, nodding at the trademark blue tank top. Steven looked down at it, scanning his memory for any recollection of where he got it.

"...I don't know where any of my clothes come from!" he finally replied. Buck snickered good-naturedly.

"Yeah, man, living free. I like it."

"H-hey!" Lars found his voice, sitting up and pointing at the snake design on his own shirt. "Check out what I'm wearing!" Was that the right way to phrase that? I hope so.

Buck wrinkled his nose. "That snake is nasty."

Lars' fake smile trembled, a pang of hurt swelling in his chest. He forced it aside and feigned laughter, pretending not to be affected. "Haha, yeah, right? I hate snakes!"

"Oh, that's too bad," said Buck with a frown, "some snakes are pretty cool."

Lars swallowed a lump in his throat. Already, he hated himself even more. He coughed awkwardly and settled back down in his seat, his face burning with embarrassment.

Suddenly, Jenny turned the key in the ignition, snapping him out of his thoughts.

"Sounds like it's time to buckle up!" Steven said enthusiastically, buckling his seatbelt with gusto. Lars felt a new wave of shame when he heard the young boy's voice, and he tried once more to save face.

"Quit being lame, Steven," he muttered, the statement coming out more vicious than he originally intended. He couldn't help it; he was stressed, having just made a fool of himself in front of his idols.

"Hey, man," Sour Cream reprimanded sternly, "there's nothing lame about seatbelt safety."

"This car is not moving until everyone is buckled up!" chimed Jenny, her tone much lighter than her friend's. Lars held in a sigh of absolute despair as he reluctantly buckled his seatbelt. Selfishly, he hoped that the straps would strangle him to death.

Sour Cream flipped through various radio stations, eagerly searching for something that suited his fancy. When he landed on an electronica station, cool beats thumping over the speakers, he seemed more than satisfied.

"Oh, yeah," he said, waving his arms to the music, "I could rave to this."

With that, Jenny switched the car into reverse and backed up, exiting the Fish Stew Pizza parking lot and heading down the leisurely streets of Beach City. The breeze blew through their hair, cooling the hot leather seats and boosting Lars' severely beaten confidence a bit more.

"This is a really cool car, Jenny," he remarked, forcing a smile onto his face. Compliments were good, right? Nobody could argue with a compliment, he reasoned.

Jenny chuckled with a scoff. "Oh, it's just the delivery car from my dad's lame shop. Honestly, it makes me smell like pizza." Despite her attempts to rebuff the praise, however, she didn't seem upset or angry with Lars, unlike the other cool kids. Warily, he allowed his hopes to rise just a little.

"Where to, y'all?" Jenny asked suddenly.

Buck shrugged. "I don't know."

"Ooh, can we stop by the Big Donut?" Steven pleaded. His stomach was growling, and he was really in the mood for a delicious chocolate-frosted twist.

"That old place?" Jenny said incredulously when they passed the shop.

"Man, that place is a drag." said Buck with a shake of his head.

"But that's where Lars wo-"

All of a sudden, Lars began coughing loudly in an attempt to drown out Steven's words. When everyone turned to look at him in concern, he held up a hand reassuring and mumbled something about allergies.

"Do you need some water?" Steven asked. Against his better judgement, Lars shot him a death glare.

They continued driving until they reached the heart of Beach City, and Steven's gaze fixed itself on Funland Arcade excitedly.

"Funland Arcade is the best! We should go there!" he suggested.

"Man, I beat all the G's in there, like, three million times." Sour Cream shook his head dismissively.

Steven gasped, starry-eyed. "Really?! No way!"

Emboldened, Lars puffed out his chest in pride. "Yeah, me too!"

Steven turned his awed gaze in his direction, but Sour Cream spoke before he could inquire further.

"Honestly, though, I was just exaggerating to sound cool." the pale teen said, rubbing the back of his head. Steven gave him a reassuring smile and patted his arm, causing Lars to roll his eyes.

"I appreciate your honesty."

The group continued driving until they reached the lush green park in the outskirts of the city, where none other than Mayor Dewey himself was giving a speech to a small crowd of people. He did not see the car when it slowed to a stop a few feet away from the rally.

"Hey, Buck, isn't that your dad?" asked Jenny, raising an eyebrow. Steven's eyes widened as he looked back and forth between the mayor and the somewhat embarrassed brown-haired boy, unable to see the resemblance between the two.

"Another reason that you should re-elect me: I love babies!" the mayor announced. A man dressed in a snazzy black tux held a young toddler up to Dewey's face. "Oh, look! Here's one right now! Gonna kiss it..." Swallowing his inner squeamishness, the mayor leaned forward and gave the child a quick kiss on the head, much to the applause of the crowd.

"Hmm...I like his policies on babies..." Steven said thoughtfully, rubbing his chin.

Buck sighed. "Man, he never kisses me like that."

Lars looked over at him sympathetically, a frown crossing his face. "That's rough, bro," he said in an attempt to comfort him.

Buck shrugged absentmindedly. "It's not that rough. The lack of daddy kisses in my life made me who I am today."

Lars blinked, unsure how to process that response. Buck hardly seemed bothered, but something about his usual calm and collected manner seemed off. Lars felt the urge to press him about the issue, but quickly chastised himself. Stupid, he thought, I can't just go asking about his family life like we're friends already.

And so, the car continued forward, the urban portion of the city fading into the now-cloudy horizon behind them. Somehow, none of them had noticed the drastic change in weather, but that didn't deter them from pressing onward.

"Oh my gosh, guys," Jenny suddenly exclaimed, "we should go to Dead Man's Mouth!"

"What's Dead Man's Mouth?" asked Steven curiously.

"Oh, it's this lake where some dude died," Buck elaborated, "or it looks like a mouth, I think. I can't remember the specifics."

Lars felt a shiver run up his spine, but he didn't dare show his fear. As far as he was concerned, any place with the word "dead" in its name was likely to be cursed, judging by all the terrible horror movies he had seen before. However, he knew he was powerless to back out; if he did, the cool kids would surely think of him as a quitter, and then he wouldn't be able to show his face in Beach City again. He had to go, despite the growing feeling of anxiety in the pit of his stomach.

"Dead Man's Mouth, here we come!" cried Jenny, speeding up down the barren road even as she rounded a corner.

"Sounds good to me!" Steven acquiesced, seemingly oblivious to the obvious danger that awaited them.

* * *

After what felt like hours of awkward silence (but was actually only twenty minutes), the group of teens arrived at Dead Man's Mouth.

"We're here!" Jenny called to those in the back, and one by one they started unbuckling their seatbelts and went over to a tall cliff to investigate. The cliff obscured the actual pond, but Steven knew from one look at the bright yellow police tape that bridged the entrance where exactly they were. His heart pounded in his chest, and he ran over to warn the others of the place's potential dangers.

"Y-y'know what?" he said, stretching his arms out in front of them. "I know this place might seem cool, but it's actually a lot less cool than you think! W-why don't we just have some fun back at the boardwalk instead?"

At this point, Lars had had it up to here with Steven's constant chatter. He offered a nervous smile at the rest of the cool kids before stooping down to the boy's level to whisper a brief yet harsh, "Steven, stop."

He stood up before the shorter one could respond, trying to resume a casual manner. "Let's check this place out!" he said. He strolled nonchalantly over to the entryway, and the rest of the cool kids nodded in agreement and followed him. Lars couldn't stop a surge of pride from flowing through his being; finally, he got them to agree to something he said!

Steven, meanwhile, was freaking out. He tried once more to stop them, but realized that they had halted in front of the police tape and appeared to be examining it curiously. He breathed a sigh of relief, silently thanking the Gems for putting such a precaution in place.

"Hmmm..." Sour Cream muttered, sky blue eyes scanning the roadblock. After a while, he simply smirked and ripped the tape away with a simple tug. "Awesome."

"I'm above the law!" Buck snickered, joining his friend in tearing away the police tape. Steven gasped and ran behind them, shouting for them to stop.

"Who wants to go for a swim?" Jenny asked, ignoring him. The rest of the group, minus Steven, seemed to like her idea, and Buck followed her lead when she took off her jacket. Sour Cream, meanwhile, removed the bottom portion of his pants, converting them into shorts.

Lars felt his heart race as he took off his shirt to join them. He was determined not to blow it like he did in the car. Truthfully, he wasn't a great swimmer, but hopefully the pond was shallow enough to cover it up. He took a deep breath and began sauntering over to the pond, only to be stopped by Steven.

"Wait, Lars! Don't go in there! It's dangerous!"

"You tryin' to scare us?" Jenny asked playfully.

"Building an atmosphere...I like it." Buck nodded in approval, and Sour Cream made a "spooky" gesture with his fingers.

The teens laughed and dove into the water, the thrill of how chilly it was sending shivers of excitement up their spines. One by one, they leaped off the giant rock near the bank, the ice drawing nearer and nearer. Somehow, nobody noticed.

Lars hurried to join them, eager to partake in the fun. Before he could take a step forward, however, Steven wrapped his arms around him tightly and tried to yank him back.

"Wait!" he pleaded, pressing his face against Lars' chest.

"H-hey! What are you doing, man?!"

Steven looked up, his eyes filled with tears. "Don't!"

Lars groaned, forcing himself to keep walking. Steven planted his feet on the ground as firmly as he could, but it was no use. Lars was practically steaming with every labored step. Even when Steven's feet sank into the shallow end of the pond, he continued to push.

"Steven..." he grunted, "What...is...your...DEAL?!"

Suddenly, he gasped. As the group of teens began splashing at each other, a large cluster of ice began surrounding them on all sides. Before they had time to properly process what was going on, it attacked, surrounding them in freezing cold and yanking them under the water.

Lars screamed, falling down in his attempt to retreat. Steven hurried to get out of the water, but a small amount of ice got caught on his foot, trying to drag him down. He tried desperately to shake it off, but it stuck to him like a magnet. A very cold, very terrifying magnet.

The ice swirled upward, scattering bits of itself everywhere. Lars darted to avoid it, helping Steven up with a hand. "What's going on?!"

"It's this pond! My mom used to take care of it, but now it's all frozen! The ice has a mind of its own!" Steven hurried to explain. He tried to bat at the ice surrounding his foot, but it wouldn't budge.

"Wait, your mom-?" Lars started to ask, eyes narrowing. Before he could continue, the cool kids lurched up from beneath the water, partially encased in ice. They groaned like zombies, struggling to get to the surface. They made it, but collapsed on the ground immediately afterward, the ice covering them completely.

Lars sprang to action. "G-guys, hang on!" He tried banging harshly on the frozen prison, and Steven joined in. They punched and hit and kicked, but none of their actions managed to crack it.

Steven looked around furiously, trying to find something, anything that they could use to save them. He saw nothing within close proximity. Just as he was about to give up hope, though, his eyes rested on a tall hill way off in the distance.

"Lars!" he yelled, getting the other's attention. "I know what we have to do!"

But Lars was not in the mood to hear it. He had been humiliated, put down, and practically ignored throughout the entire outing, and for what? For the kids he had been longing to befriend for years to end up freezing to death in a scummy old pond? A scummy old pond that Steven's mom had apparently created? No, Lars was done pretending to be okay. He was livid.

"This is all YOUR fault!" he exploded, pointing an accusatory finger at Steven. Tears welled up in his eyes as he spoke. "I knew if something went wrong today, it would be because of you! Now I'm never going to be friends with these guys, all because of your...your weird, freakish mom!"

He regretted the words the instant they left his mouth. Steven froze, his face contorted in an expression that was unfamiliar to his normally cheery face. Anger, shock, betrayal - emotions that were almost foreign were welling up inside of him.

"What do you know about my mom?" he asked under his breath. Without warning, he jabbed his index finger into Lars' chest hard, his voice raising to a yell. "I DIDN'T EVEN GET TO KNOW MY MOM! But y'know what I DO know?! She believed that everything had potential, even stuff like this...and even jerks like you!"

The words came out at a surprisingly rapid pace, and Steven had to pause to catch his breath. Lars stared at him in astonishment, guilt and shame welling up in his gut. He forced himself to look away, unable to continue doing so with the knowledge of what he had just said. He messed up. Bad.

Finally, Steven sighed, gesturing back to their frozen friends. "Now, help me get them to the car." he ordered, his tone uncharacteristically serious. Lars complied obediently, bending down to get a good grip on the cool kids. Steven helped him, their grip somewhat slippery due to the ice, but they managed to pile them into the backseat of the vehicle and buckle them in.

"Alright, Lars, we have to hurry," Steven explained, climbing in the passenger seat, "The moss belongs at the top of that hill." He pointed to the hill in the distance, the one that got his attention earlier. "Come on, what are you waiting for?"

Lars swallowed hard, examining the car's controls with apprehension. "I...don't know how to drive a stick shift." he admitted.

Steven narrowed his eyes determinedly. "Don't worry. I'll work the stick while you keep your eyes on the road."

Lars wasn't sure if that was the best idea in the world, but he was too concerned for his friends to care. He had to make it up to them, to Steven. He thought of Buck, whose father would probably regret not giving him any kisses if he was gone; Jenny, who had a whole family to come home to; Sour Cream, who still had dreams of his own that he needed all the time in the world to fulfill.

And then he thought of Steven, who didn't even get to know his own mother. Steven, who would never let down a friend in need. Steven, who clearly had some sort of power that he still needed to harness and control.

"Alright," he said, turning the key in the ignition, "let's do this."

Steven nodded, putting his hand on the clutch and jamming it forward. "Stick power, go!"

The car lurched ahead at an alarming speed, catching the both of them off-guard. A splash of water doused them as they careened into the pond. Lars felt a jolt of air escape his lungs, and he hurriedly shouted, "No, Steven, put it in reverse!"

Steven began panicking, eyes scanning the letters written on the side of the lever. "Uh...is that the one with the 'R' on it?" He pulled it back, and the car shot in the opposite direction, causing both of them to scream.

Lars grasped the steering wheel tightly and struggled to maintain control, forcing the vehicle to avoid rocks and other obstacles that were behind them. They slid down an incline and onto the road, and the teen wrestled with the wheel to get the car to face the right direction.

"Jenny's gonna kill meeee," he wailed, stepping on the gas. "What's gonna happen when we get to the top of that hill?"

Steven shrugged, casting a fearful glance at the frozen bodies of their friends. "I don't know!"

Lars nearly slammed the brakes, but forced himself to keep going. As crazy as it sounded, he had to trust Steven, but he couldn't stop himself from asking, "You don't know?!"

"That's just where the ice wants to be!" the boy responded. How he knew that, he wasn't entirely sure, but he sensed it in his gut - or, more accurately, his gem. Something was telling him that somehow, some way, the ice needed to get to the top of the hill. It was the only way to save the cool kids.

Suddenly, as if it could sense Steven's thoughts, the ice began creeping over the entire back side of the car. It engulfed the seats, the floor, the trunk, and caused the tires to become stiff. The car began slipping, the speed at which they were moving becoming too difficult to maintain with frozen wheels.

"It's getting everywhere!" Lars gasped, yelling in terror when he felt a cold chill creep along his back. Steven let out a similar scream, and sure enough, the ice was starting to inch its way over to the front seat and envelop the both of them. It covered his arms, numbing his senses and causing his strong grip on the wheel to waver.

Then, from out of seemingly nowhere, a large truck came barreling in their direction. Their car continued speeding ahead, banging into the left side of the truck. Thankfully for them, however, the impact caused their vehicle to straighten out (not that the truck driver cared, for their headlight had just sustained a nasty dent), and they were able to continue along the road.

Steven opened his eyes, which he had scrunched shut in preparation for a crash, and found that they were getting closer and closer to the hill. "We made it!" he cried triumphantly.

Lars couldn't stop himself from smiling. "Almost there!" he said, screeching to a halt near the very top of the incline. Their bodies were almost completely frozen over, but they climbed out of the car with resolute determination and grabbed their friends.

"What do we do now?" Lars asked, shuddering from the cold.

Steven pointed to the top. "We gotta get up there. Hurry!"

The older boy nodded, and the two of them struggled to trek up the hill. Normally, it would have only taken them a few seconds to reach the top, but the ice greatly hindered their movements and threatened to cause them to collapse. It was so cold, so unbelievably, unbearably cold.

Lars tried to force his feet to keep moving, but found that they were becoming increasingly difficult to control. "I'm getting stuck!" he warned, the speed of the ice growing faster and faster up his body.

"No," Steven cried back weakly, "don't give up!"

But it was too late. The two of them fell, the ice inching its way around their faces. It was cold, cold cold cold cold cold cold.

"St-s-steven..." Lars stuttered, teeth chattering from his frigid prison. He looked up at the sky one last time, but he could barely feel any of the sun's warmth. What a fine time for it to be cloudy, he thought sarcastically.

"W-what?"

Lars took a final breath, sad eyes gazing into Steven's solemnly. "This sucks."

"Lars..." Steven started, but that was all he could say. His voice was lost to the ever-growing ice as it slid down, down, down over his face and Lars', carrying their screams with it.

Then, everything was quiet.

...That is, until the sun poked its way out from behind the clouds, shining down on the mass of frozen bodies with intense waves of heat. The rays sparkled off of the ice in what would have been one of the world's most spectacular light shows had there been anyone around to see it. Slowly but surely, the thick layers of ice began to melt, water vapor rising into the sky in magnificent puffs and swirls, coating the air with a fine mist.

Steven and Lars blinked, having been the first ones to free themselves, and gazed up in awe at the sparkling droplets of steam that floated up, up and away over the skyline. Even as they coughed and spluttered, desperately taking large gasps of air, they couldn't help but admire the beauty of the vapor as it drifted away. Its color was unlike anything the two of them had ever seen before; indeed, in the light, it looked to be an unnaturally radiant blue. Lars reached out to touch it, and it cooled his arm pleasantly.

"The ice just wanted to melt," Steven found himself saying, mesmerized by the sight before him. A sudden series of groans from behind him prompted him to turn around, and he was both overjoyed and relieved to see that the cool kids were alive and well.

"What happened?" Jenny asked groggily.

"I think I died." Sour Cream said with a shrug.

The girl frowned and rubbed at her head, but the sight of the vapor immediately took her breath away. "Guys, look!" she cried, pointing at the edge of the hill. Everyone went over to investigate, and were immediately greeted by an even more splendid sight: the steam was wafting across Beach City, the calm orange sunset reflecting off of the ocean's waves and casting even more glittering light on the droplets. The cool kids let out breathless exclamations of wonder.

"You can see all of Beach City from up here!" Sour Cream gasped.

Buck nodded in agreement. "It's beautiful."

"How did we even get here, anyway?" said Jenny, looking around at each of her friends. Lars opened his mouth to reply, but Steven cut him off.

"Lars drove us here!" he said proudly, giving the older boy a subtle wink. The rest of the cool kids smiled at him, each of them giving him a thumbs-up or some other gesture of approval.

"I can totally rave to this."

"Super cool!"

"Yeah, Lars!"

Lars blushed, the praise warming his heart. He looked down at Steven gratefully, unable to resist the tears of joy that were welling up in his eyes. He forced them back, telling himself that he would thank him properly later.

A burst of chanting snapped him out of his thoughts, and he smiled upon seeing Sour Cream, who was waving his arms up and down with each of his torn pant legs in his hands. He was making dubstep sound effects with his mouth while Buck and Jenny cheered him on.

Steven turned to Lars, excitement in his eyes. He raised his hand for a high-five, but Lars shook his head, pressing a hand to his chest like the younger boy had done earlier in the day. Steven laughed and did the same, keeping his hand there for an uncomfortably long period of time.

"...Okay, that's enough," Lars said, and Steven obliged with another laugh.

So far, this day hadn't been nearly as bad as he thought it was going to be.

* * *

 **Ahh, finally, this chapter is finished! I've been working on other projects over at AO3, so I was kind of busy, but thankfully it's all over now! Again, sorry this chapter is too similar to the original, but this is ESSENTIAL for Lars' character development, so I had to leave it in. Lars is going to be a major character later on, as many of you have probably guessed, so most Lars-centric episodes are going to either remain intact or be subject to MAJOR changes (*cough*islandadventure*cough*). One of the major changes, as you might have guessed, is Lars' personality in this fic; I decided to make him a bit nicer and more pessimistic, as one of the major complaints I've seen directed toward his overall arc is that he's "too jerky" to sympathize with. While I personally have no problem sympathizing with him at all, I can totally understand why people were not as heavily impacted by his "redemption" as others were, hence the personality change.**

 **Anyway, next chapter is Steven the Sword Fighter...only I probably won't be calling it Steven the Sword Fighter. Maybe. Zircon isn't EXACTLY a sword fighter in this AU. Her fighting style is less elegant and more precision-based and strategic. She prefers not to get her hands dirty in the midst of battle...but that's a story for another time. Stay tuned!**


	14. Steven the Archer

It was a quiet, uneventful day in Beach City, as the rain outside prevented anyone from going out and having fun. The sleepy boardwalk town was now even more withdrawn, with several choosing to stay inside and spend the day away from the gloom. Among these were none other than the Crystal Gems, who were watching TV in Steven's room together.

Steven shoveled popcorn into his mouth as he eagerly watched the cartoon onscreen. The rest of the Gems watched with mild interest, though none of them really understood what was going on (Zircon in particular kept pointing out plotholes, which was kind of annoying). So far, there were two characters speaking in Japanese, while subtitles appeared at the bottom to translate what they were saying.

"It was you!" said one of the figures, clad in samurai attire and wielding two katanas. "You're the one who killed my brother, cursing me to fight alone forever!"

Steven, who was leaning against Imperial Garnet's soft pink afro, said with a mouthful of popcorn, "Oh, Lonely Blade, you so lonely!"

"You think you can defeat me?" said the other character, unsheathing a sword that was hidden in his mop. "The President of the Shadow Samurai Government?!"

Steven gasped, leaning over Imperial's head. "Whaaat?! The janitor is the evil samurai president?! That's bananas!"

Zircon pointed a triumphant finger at the screen. "Aha! I knew it!" She smiled proudly. "Not only was he mopping in the background of every fight scene, but he was also on the cover of the box the whole time." She held up the DVD to emphasize her point.

"Oh, yeah..." Steven trailed off, eyes turning back to the screen.

"For my honor and my brother," continued Lonely Blade, "I will strike you down!" He stuck his sword handles together and threw them at the janitor with a cry of "BOOMERANG BLADE!"

The President leaped into the air, dodging the whirling swords as they zoomed toward him. With a cocky smile, he pointed his own weapon at Lonely Blade. "Piercing Shadow of a Thousand Screams!"

Steven threw his arms up encouragingly. "Go, Lonely Blade, go! Do another Boomerang Blade!"

Bismuth rolled her eyes. "This is stupid. Sword fighting is never like this."

"I agree," said Zircon, adjusting her neckerchief, "and besides, they have no strategy. Both of them would be killed immediately if this were in the middle of a war."

"I don't know, I kinda like it!" said Imperial cheerily. "I mean, yeah, the dubbing could use some work, but it's at least entertaining."

Steven ate some more popcorn with a chuckle. "It's only a movie, guys."

Zircon snorted. "Even so, sword fighting has always been about showing off and looking fancy. Archery, on the other hand, is a far better skill to have in combat."

"Whoa," Steven's eyes widened. "You're into archery?"

Bismuth laughed boisterously. "That's right! Zircon was the best sniper we ever had during the war! Ain't that right, Zirc?"

Zircon tried to hide the grin that was forming on her face. "Oh, well, I don't know if I would call myself the best..."

But Bismuth waved her hand dismissively. "Oh, please. Steven, if you ever wanna see some REAL skill, why dontcha ask Zircon to show ya what she can do with a bow and arrow, huh?"

Steven gasped and looked at the blue Gem pleadingly, his eyes shining with stars. "Oooh, can you? Pleeeease?"

Zircon raised her eyebrows. "Right now? Are you sure? Don't you want to see how the movie ends?"

"I thought you didn't like it, Z?" Bismuth chuckled.

"Oh, no, she's been secretly enjoying it this whole time." said Imperial nonchalantly, still staring at the screen. Steven and Bismuth shot amused looks in Zircon's direction, and she flushed a dark blue.

"On second thought," she muttered, "now seems like a pretty good time to go."

* * *

The arena was unlike any place Steven had ever been before. It was shrouded in a mass of puffy white clouds and surrounded by crumbled ruins and broken-down pillars. It was quite clear to him that this arena was used for more than just sporting battles.

Zircon didn't seem to mind, though. In fact, she seemed to know the place like the back of her hand. Then again, it was quite small, but she seemed very at home there nonetheless. Steven, Imperial, and Bismuth sat on bleacher-like seats in front of her as she gave her demonstration. Strapped to her back was a quiver full of arrows, and a bow was tightly clutched in her hand.

"Alright," the blue Gem said with an air of authority, "I'm going to need a target."

Steven, who had brought an apple specifically for this reason, began to raise his hand, but Imperial gently brought it down.

"Luckily, I have just the thing." Zircon continued, producing a screen from her monocle. She brought up an image of a target, which she enlarged and backed several feet away from.

Bismuth smiled and pulled over a large cloud, which she was somehow able to sit upon with ease. "Here we go!"

Zircon continued to walk away from the target until she was so far off that she looked like a little blue speck in the distance. Steven turned to his caretakers, confused.

"Can she really shoot an arrow from all the way back there?"

Bismuth gave him a wink. "Watch."

Zircon narrowed her eyes, focusing intently on the target she had created. She produced an arrow from her quiver and drew the string of her bow back. In her mind, she took note of several different factors; her position, the wind, the angle at which she was firing. Then, she released.

Steven watched in awe as the arrow hit the center of the target directly, followed quickly by another, and then another, and then another. Bismuth cheered loudly, clapping her large hands. Imperial and Steven followed suit, amazed by their teammate's accuracy.

"Yaaaay, go, Zircon!" Steven shouted, pumping his fist in the air. The blue Gem smirked and decided to perform some tricks that she had perfected as of late. She turned around, taking note of the position of each pillar. Occasionally, she would take a glance back at the target, and nodded once she made up her mind. She fired the arrow at one of the pillars, where it ricocheted off of various other objects until it hit the target again.

But she wasn't done yet. She leaped up in the air, performing an elaborate somersault, and fired another arrow. As predicted, it also hit the target. and by now there were several imbedded into it.

"Whoa!" Steven was no longer able to contain himself, and he rushed over in Zircon's direction. He heard the other Gems try to call him back, but he was too eager to get a closer look to pay attention. "Zircon, that was amazing! You were so cool!"

The blue Gem blushed at the praise, casually retrieving another arrow. "Oh, well, what can I say?" she stated bashfully.

Steven was practically jumping in place. "Can you teach me how to be a cool archer like you?"

Zircon laughed at his enthusiasm and waved the target/screen over with her hand. "Now, watch carefully, okay?" She stepped back a few more feet (but not before plucking the arrows from the target) and pulled back her bow. Steven leaned forward, expecting to see her start firing, but she instead began to speak.

"Now, look at how I'm holding the arrow, okay? The trick is to keep three fingers on the string and keep your elbow aligned with your nose. Move your legs apart, but not too far. It's best to keep them even so that you can balance your weight on both sides, and-"

She continued lecturing, but the light in Steven's eyes was already beginning to fade. He frowned slightly, disappointment evident in his posture. "Aw, can you show me something cooler? Like all those flips and spins you were doing?"

Zircon scoffed. "Absolutely not. You are far too young and inexperienced for such a thing, and besides, that was mostly for show. Now, be quiet so I can concentrate."

She aimed her arrow at the target, narrowing her eyes in a focused manner, but she shrieked and accidentally released her bow when Steven began chanting, "Flips and spins! Flips and spins! Flips and spins!"

Zircon, who was not even paying attention to where the arrow had gone when she fired it, turned to Steven and wagged her finger sternly. "Steven, these are practical archery techniques! In a real battle, there's no time for 'flips and spins!' It's about waiting carefully for the perfect moment to-"

Suddenly, she stopped, a harsh gasp escaping her lips. Steven's eyes widened in horror as he looked down at her stomach, where the arrow that he had accidentally caused her to fire had ricocheted back toward her. It was jutting out of her gut, pointing directly at Steven as if it were blaming him for what had just happened.

"Zircon...?" he asked tentatively, swallowing hard.

"Oh no..." Bismuth muttered to herself, wincing at the sight of the arrow.

"I have a feeling that this is...not good." said Imperial matter-of-factly, shaking her head.

But Zircon seemed largely unaffected by the arrow; in fact, she even flashed a reassuring smile in Steven's direction. "Oh, don't worry, Steven! Everything's okay! I'll be just-" And then, before she could finish her sentence, she disappeared in a puff of blue smoke, leaving only her gleaming blue gemstone behind.

"NOOOO!" Steven sobbed, rushing to pick up her gem. It looked normal, but he didn't care. Zircon was gone, and it was all his fault. "Zircon? Zircon, please!"

Imperial and Bismuth rushed to his side, shouting his name in unison. He looked up at them, tears running down his face. "I'm sorry!" he cried. "I was just...and she was trying to-"

Bismuth wrapped him in a protective hug before he could finish. "Hey, hey, kiddo, it's okay," she whispered comfortingly, "Zircon's gonna be fine."

The boy sniffled and looked up at his caretakers, eyes red and puffy. "What do you mean?"

Imperial, still as cheerful as ever, raised a hand to get his attention. "When Gems get badly injured, our physical forms retreat back inside our gemstones so we can regenerate!"

Steven felt a wave of reassurance wash over him. "So she's gonna be okay?" When Imperial nodded, he breathed a huge sigh of relief. Bismuth ruffled his hair playfully.

"Don't worry about it, li'l man, this stuff happens to all of us! ...Well, except me, that is." She puffed out her chest proudly, showing off her glimmering rainbow gem.

Imperial looked confused. "But weren't you the last one to get po-"

"Shhh!" the muscular Gem muttered, patting Steven on the back. "Anyway, Zircon will come back. She'll just have a slightly new appearance!"

"That's pretty cool," Steven said, feeling some of the weight lift off his shoulders, "So, how long is it gonna take for her to regenerate? Five minutes? Ten?"

Imperial and Bismuth looked at each other sheepishly, not daring to respond. Steven, sensing something was wrong, glanced back over at Zircon's gem and winced. He had a feeling that it would take much longer than he had initially anticipated...

* * *

Steven groaned loudly, plopping his face down on the table next to Zircon's gem. It was still tucked cozily into the little basket he had retrieved for it, wrapped up in a little blanket. A desk lamp was shining down on it as if it were an egg being incubated. So far, it had remained that way for a whole two weeks, but nothing had happened.

"Ugggh, what's taking so long?" he muttered sadly. He missed Zircon dearly, even if she had only been gone for two weeks. The beach house felt emptier without her around to keep track of everything and nag at everybody. Despite her scatterbrained, paranoid nature, she was fun to have around. Steven never realized just how much he appreciated her until she had poofed.

A flash of light emanated from the warp pad as Imperial and Bismuth arrived, the latter still floating on that cloud that she was sitting on at the arena. Steven barely looked over at them, still staring solemnly at Zircon's gemstone.

"Heyyy, what's up, meatball?" Bismuth greeted thunderously, patting the boy on the back. She glanced down at her fallen teammate's gem, which still had yet to reform. "She's still not done yet? Geez, she must really be takin' her time with this one."

She scanned the interior of the house, noticing the mess that had accumulated everywhere. There were dirty dishes in the sink, still covered with food, and Steven's clothes were scattered all around the floor of his bedroom. There were even some bits of trash here and there. "Uh...say, kid, what's this you've done with the place?"

Steven didn't look up. "Zircon usually helps me tidy up."

Bismuth snorted. "You serious? This place looks like her room. I guess without her around, somebody had to take her role, am I right?" She elbowed Steven playfully, but he didn't respond. He just continued to mope, though his eyes were no longer rooted on Zircon's gem.

"Oh, well..." he muttered, glancing at the circular screen that was just behind the counter, "At least she left some part of herself behind." He tapped at it idly, scrolling through the home screen as if it were a phone.

Bismuth frowned disapprovingly. "Look, Steven, I know you miss Zircon, but I don't think it's a good idea to just mess with her screen like that. That's, like, her thing, y'know?"

Steven sighed, tapping at the keypad that had appeared on the holographic disc. "I know, but I can't help it. I've been writing all these messages for her for when she comes back so that she can read them and know how much I missed her."

Bismuth's heart softened a little at the boy's sentimentality, but she still had doubts. "Well...I guess that's fine, but don't mess around too much, okay? Z can do a lot of stuff with those screens of hers, so you wouldn't wanna mess with things that you know nothing about."

Steven gave her a curt nod, and she retreated back to the temple, where Imperial had long since disappeared. When she had gone, he continued to tap at the screen idly, rereading all of the other messages he had written.

Get better soon, Zircon!

We love you, Zircon!

I'm sure your new form will look amazing, Zircon!

He had been so excited to show them to her at the start, but now he didn't have the energy to write any more without repeating himself. What else could he say? He wished she would reform soon so that he could see her smiling face again and not have to worry about writing anything else.

He played with the screen, idly flicking through several different functions. It mostly contained detailed notes and observations, pictures of important Gem landmarks, and other miscellaneous information. At first, it was fascinating to him, but he could barely understand half of the things she wrote down, as everything that wasn't written in Gem language used such sophisticated vocabulary.

Nevertheless, he continued scrolling, as it at least gave him something to do. Ever since Imperial had burned his phone, he had found that Zircon's screens shared some similar functions. He found himself skimming some of the contents, noticing how varied the layout seemed to be. Some of the documents were easily accessible, while some of them required passwords to access. He wondered how she remembered so many of them in the first place.

Then, something new caught his eye. It was an icon, but not just any icon. It wasn't a document or a photograph or anything else of that kind; instead, it appeared to be a miniature image of Zircon's own face. He had not seen it before, but that did not surprise him; he had been scrolling through the screen for the past two weeks, and one thing that he had learned very early on was that it contained a lot of information. There was bound to be something that he could have missed if he wasn't even close to the end of this labyrinth of data yet. So, out of pure curiosity, he tapped it.

There was a momentary pause before the screen brought up a peculiar image; it appeared to be Zircon herself, but she was not wearing her signature monocle. Her eyes lacked pupils, giving her the appearance of a cold, emotionless robot. In fact, when she opened her mouth to speak, she even sounded like one, too.

"Hello, Blue Zircon Facet-3R8G Cut-4V9. How can I assist you today?"

Steven's eyes widened in excitement. "Whoa..." he murmured, stars shining in his eyes, "who are you?"

The image of Zircon answered almost immediately. "I am ZURI, the Zircon Unit of Retrieval and Intelligence. My purpose is to provide aid in the recovery of files, information, and other resources. Is there anything that I can assist you with?"

Steven was practically jumping in his seat. "So, you're like an AI? That's so cool!"

"Is there anything that I can assist you with?" Zuri repeated, in the exact same tone. Steven ignored her, too busy flipping out to care.

"I can't believe Zircon had a robot living in her screens the whole time!" he exclaimed, leaning in closer. "What can you do?"

Again, Zuri's response was instantaneous. "I am equipped with several functions that make me an ideal assistant. I can find any file that you may be looking for it within seconds, as well as sort them, organize them, and correct any spelling or grammatical mistakes. It is my duty to make your job as easy as possible."

Steven's smile grew wider and wider, pure awe shaking the very core of his being. He had an AI at his service, and not just any AI - an AI that looked and sounded like Zircon. Maybe, just maybe, he didn't have to feel lonely without her anymore. After all, if this thing was anything like the Gem she was modeled after, then surely it would be a lot like hanging out with the real deal, right?

"You like to organize things, huh?"

"Affirmative."

"Then why don't you follow me?" Steven said, pulling the screen along. "Zircon always likes to help me clean up, even if her own room isn't very clean." He went upstairs to his room and pointed at the clothes and toys on the ground. "She likes to organize things by type, see? Animal, human, miscellaneous..." He held up several action figures to emphasize his point. "Do you think you can do that?"

This time, Zuri did not answer right away. Instead, she seemed to freeze, almost as if she were contemplating the request, before finally saying, "Animal. Human. Miscellaneous. I have several files that would fall under these categories or contain these words. Would you like me to bring them up?"

Steven grimaced, but did not back down. "No, that's not what I mean. Look!" He showed Zuri an action figure of a man with spiky blonde hair, who was wielding a large sword. "This is Rain Clash. He's a human, so he would go in a pile with the other humans. Understand?"

A flash of blue light emanated from the screen as Zuri scanned the figure. "Rain Clash. Human. Found in A Pile With The Other Humans. Understood."

Steven smiled faintly. It certainly wasn't the same as Zircon, but at least he was getting somewhere. "Good! Now, look, here's another one." He gestured to another figure that resembled an yellow mouse with red cheeks. "Where does this one go? Is it a human or an animal?"

Zuri scanned the mouse, but she did not say anything afterward. She paused for a long time, trying to process the information she had just received. "...No known data. Would you like to input some of your own?"

Steven tilted his head in confusion, but still tried to maintain his patient smile. "No, this is an animal. So, where would he go?"

"...No known data. Would you like to input some of your own?"

Steven groaned. "No, no, that's fine..." he said exasperatedly. He could see where this was going to go, and he did not want to spend hours lecturing Zuri on what went where. He stood up and put the toy down, pulling the screen along with him. "Come on, let's go try something else."

"Affirmative." Zuri responded as they left the beach house together.

* * *

"Yo, do you dare me to do it?"

"I don't know...it doesn't sound like a good idea..."

"Is that a challenge? Cuz if it is, I'm gonna do it!" Bismuth shouted, shoving the cloud in her mouth. Within seconds, she began floating off of the ground as if she were as light as a feather. "WHOOO! This is awesome!"

Unfortunately, once she started floating, she found herself unable to stop. Imperial had to reach out and grab her leg to prevent her from shooting up into the sky, much to her disappointment.

Meanwhile, in the background, Steven giggled in amusement. "Zircon always likes to tease Bismuth when she does funny stuff like this! Why don't you give it a try?"

Zuri paused, then said, "No known data. Would you like to input some of your own?"

Steven facepalmed and waved his hand dismissively. "Never mind, never mind. Let's just go say hi to them anyway." He approached his caretakers, screen in tow, and smiled weakly. "What are you rascals doing over here?"

Bismuth looked confused at the image of Zircon on the screen. "Uh...Steven, what's that?"

"I am ZURI, the Zircon Unit of Retrieval and Intelligence. My purpose is to provide aid in the recovery of files, information, and other resources. Is there anything I can assist you with?"

The muscular Gem scoffed. "I don't suppose you could help me get down from here, can you?"

"Negative."

"Thought so." Bismuth turned to Steven, concern in her eyes. "How did you find this thing? I didn't know Zircon had a mini-her in there this whole time. If ya ask me, it's kinda creepy."

"I think it's pretty neat!" said Imperial, waving at Zuri. "Hello, new friend! How are you doing today?"

"All systems are functioning correctly. No repairs or updates are required." Zuri replied, her gaze still eerily resting on Steven despite not addressing him.

The boy sighed, ignoring the AI's words. "I don't know. I just miss spending time with Zircon, I guess."

Imperial bent down and put a hand on his shoulder with a comforting smile. "We all miss Zircon, Steven, but I know she'll come back to us soon. You just have to be patient, that's all!"

"Uhh...hello?" Bismuth asked as she floated away, the magenta Gem having released her grip on her. "Little help here?"

"Oh, no!" Imperial cried, running underneath Bismuth's shadow. She reached up, trying to grab her, but she was already several feet above the ground, yelling wildly.

Steven sighed and turned away, looking up at Zuri sadly. Eerily, she was still staring at him, even though he hadn't said or done anything to warrant her attention. For the first time, he felt unnerved by her presence.

...But that was ridiculous. She was harmless, right? Just an image on a screen, he thought to himself. Surely, there was no reason to be scared of her, even if her blank eyes were kind of unsettling. He bet that behind that robotic façade, she was just as kind and caring as Zircon herself. In fact, that gave him an idea...

He grabbed the screen and started toward the boardwalk, ignoring the frantic cries of his caretakers as he went.

* * *

Steven normally liked to look on the bright side, but he was kind of desperate here.

He knew for a fact that Zircon loved this tree. It was the tree that she took him to when she attempted to teach him to summon his weapon, its vibrant green leaves blowing in the wind. The birds' nest that was there the last time he had visited the place was in the exact same spot, but the chicks seemed a bit bigger than they were last time. He smiled faintly at the memory.

He looked over at Zuri, who had a balloon necklace wrapped around her screen. They had bought it when they were at the boardwalk earlier in an attempt to get her to feel something, anything, but it was no use. No matter how hard he tried, he could not get her to smile. But this would work. This had to work.

"Did you have fun at the boardwalk?" he asked, hoping against hope that he would get some kind of unique answer.

"None of the files stored in my database contain the phrase 'fun at the boardwalk.' Would you like me to search again?"

Steven rolled his eyes and waved his hands dismissively before gesturing to the tree. "No, no, that's fine. Just...look, this is Zircon's favorite tree. Do you recognize it? Does it make you feel anything?"

There was a brief silence as Zuri scanned the tree, but her response was as curt and robotic as ever. "Tree recognized as a willow oak. Commonly found in eastern North America. Deciduous, and part of the red oak species."

Steven's face fell. "Oh, come on! Aren't you happy? Excited? Even if you're feeling sad, that's okay, too!"

Zuri, still as stoic and stiff as ever, replied, "No known data. Would you like to input some of your own?"

That did it. Steven kicked the tree in frustration, causing the birds to scatter away in fear. "No! I don't want to input any data! I want you to make your OWN decisions and become your OWN person, with feelings and emotions!"

This time, the AI froze. "You...want...what?" she asked, the very faint sound of static lacing her words.

Steven, too upset to notice, continued his ranting. "All day, you've been so emotionless! Zircon may have been fine with that, but Zircon isn't here, and I'm NOT Zircon!"

Zuri began to glitch even more, an icy growl corrupting her voice. "You are...not Zircon?"

"Are you telling me you thought I was her the whole time?!" Steven yelled in betrayal. "After everything we did together, you have no idea who I am?!"

"B-b-blue Zi-i-ircon Facet-3R8G Cut-4V9 is the only one who should be able to acc-access me. Y-you are not authorized t-t-to handle my technology. I was not de-designed for this situation." Her voice was starting to skip, but Steven was still too heartbroken to care.

"Oh, so that's it?! You don't want to hang out with me because I'm not Zircon?!" he fumed, tears welling up in his eyes. "Well, fine! I don't want to hang out with YOU for the same reason! You're hopeless!" He sniffled loudly, and in that moment, he realized just how badly he wanted Zircon back. Without thinking, he turned around and ran, leaving Zuri and the screen behind.

* * *

The pouring rain did little to help Steven's sadness. The crash of thunder and occasional flashes of lightning only served to make him more uneasy, especially since Bismuth and Imperial weren't home. Regardless, he tried to make the best of the situation, as he had a feeling that tonight would be the night Zircon would finally reform. Granted, he had that same feeling for the past two weeks, but this time he felt sure of it.

He grimaced when he saw Zircon's gem, wrapped up in a blanket beside him. He hesitated in case it started to move, but it remained perfectly still. He held up the video he had bought for the occasion, trying to maintain a positive attitude.

"It's too bad you're not back yet, Zircon," he began, "because I just got the fifth Lonely Blade movie!"

No response. The gem sat there, the lighting reflecting off of its clear blue surface. It would have been beautiful if not for the growing twinge of sadness in Steven's throat.

"How long are you gonna keep me waiting?" he asked, more to himself than to the gem. Even if she wasn't poofed, it would have been nice to have company on such a spooky, stormy night. If Zircon were here, she'd gladly watch over him. They'd watch Lonely Blade together and she would pretend to be uninterested while silently coming up with her own theories. It would feel less like a gloomy evening and more like a sunny, jovial one despite the weather outside.

A sudden beeping noise interrupted his train of thought, and he looked over to the microwave with an excited gasp. The popcorn was ready. He got up, making sure not to shake the windowsill and knock Zircon off, before rushing over to open the microwave to take out the delicious snack. He was just about to pour it into a bowl when he turned around, only to let out a surprised scream at the person- no, the thing -that was behind him.

The screen- Zuri's screen -had somehow gotten into the house without him to pull it along. It hovered there, Zuri's glare piercing through his skull.

"Y-y-you are not Z-zircon." she stuttered, a menacing lilt in her voice despite the glitchy effects. "Th-this was no-o-ot part of my proto-c-col."

Steven shuddered, but he refused to let himself be intimidated by this thing. "Go away!" he shouted, pushing past the screen. "I don't want your help!"

He ran away, grabbing Zircon's gem as he did so, trying to get upstairs to his bedroom as soon as possible. At worst, he thought, Zuri was just a nuisance. Maybe she would take the hint and go away if he told her to. She always obeyed him, after all.

But not this time. A flash of lightning illuminated the room, and he turned around to see Zuri hovering right behind him. "I-i-i am not programmed to follllllow orderssssss from anyone but Zir-c-con. Y-y-you are an imposssstor. O-only she can acccccess me." Her voice was getting worse and worse, the lag and glitches becoming more and more noticeable.

Steven felt sweat begin to form on his brow. He clutched the blue gem in his hands tighter. "Leave us alone!" he demanded, practically scrambling up the stairs. Thinking fast, he grabbed a sheet from his bed and tossed it over the screen in a last-ditch effort to prevent Zuri from following him. For a moment, it seemed to work, as she began stammering in confusion. He breathed a sigh of relief. That was easy.

Swallowing hard, he turned his attention back to the TV. Everything was fine. Zuri was just an AI. She couldn't hurt him, especially when she couldn't see. Soon, Zircon would reform, and she would tell Zuri to go away, and then everything would be just fine.

He put the video in the VCR and sat down, trying to ignore the angry, distorted yells from below.

* * *

"Brother..." Lonely Blade said, gazing at the zombie in shock, "is that you?"

"Yes, it's me, your...brother." the zombie responded, pitch-black eyes glaring directly into Lonely Blade's soul.

"Whoa, this dub is really good!" Steven said between bites of popcorn. "What do you think, Zircon?" He turned to the gem in the blanket, still as immobile as ever. He turned back to the movie sadly, his smile faltering.

"C-cccannot detect surrrrroundings!" Zuri wailed from down below, blue light flashing beneath the white sheet that covered her. Steven exhaled through his nose worriedly and forced himself to focus on the television, regardless of what his instincts told him to do.

"Brother..." the zombie groaned, reaching out for Lonely Blade. The samurai frowned, his eyes widening.

"Wait a minute..." he muttered, "you're not my real brother!" He unsheathed his swords and raised them high into the air, lightning flashing behind him. "Boomerang Blade!"

"Your technique is impressive," the zombie scoffed, "but it won't be enough!"

Despite the battle that was beginning to unfold onscreen, Steven found himself unable to concentrate. Zuri's cries accompanied by the cheesy fight scene was beginning to remind him of the day that Zircon initially poofed. She had scolded him for thinking that a real fight would ever be this childish, only to be taken down by her own arrow. He flinched at the memory, at the way the projectile had pierced right through her body, at the way it pointed at him in an accusatory manner, and it occurred to him that it might have hit him instead had she not been there to-

ZAP! He yelped, snapping out of his trance when he saw the sparking television in front of him. Smoke was coming out of a large, blackened hole in the screen, and Steven whirled around in horror to find that Zuri had managed to come upstairs despite the sheet obscuring her vision. In fact, there was a hole in the sheet that resembled the one in the TV screen, and Steven realized with a sinking feeling in his gut that her deadpan face was staring right through it.

"The TV!" he spluttered out, glaring at the AI furiously. "Why must you destroy the things I love?!"

"Threat neutralized." Zuri responded simply, her voice somehow more monotone than usual. All traces of a stutter were gone, replaced by the cold, unfeeling clarity that was so familiar yet so foreign at the same time. "Would you like me to scan again?"

"NO!" Steven screamed, finally losing his temper once and for all. "I hate you, I hate you! You're nothing like Zircon! You may think you know everything, but you're just a heartless computer program! The real Zircon loves her friends and her family, but you have no idea what love really is, don't you?!"

"No known data. Would you like to input some of your own?"

"Uggh, fine! I see how it is!" And then, with one angry wave of his arm, he roughly shoved he screen away from him, sending it - and, by extension, Zuri - flying a few feet back.

"Threat detected." the AI said suddenly, her eyes glowing a bright red. Steven's pupils shrunk when a bright blue laser beam shot out of her eyes, and he scrambled to move out of the way as it fried the floor around him. "You are not Zircon. You must be eliminated."

"Stop it!" Steven protested, scooping up a handful of his action figures and throwing them at the screen. Some of them merely bounced off of it, while others were zapped into nothingness by Zuri's highly precise laser.

"I do not have to take orders from you." she said in a cold, flat tone. "I only take orders from Zircon. You are not Zircon. You must be eliminated."

Steven screamed and leaped behind the television to avoid another blast of blue. Zuri was blocking his way to the staircase, so he couldn't run away from her using traditional means. Wincing, he looked down at the couch below his bedroom and took a leap of faith, landing with only a bit of discomfort on the soft cushions.

He didn't have time to rest, however. Zuri was still after him, and she seemed to be tracking his movements as he darted out of her way. She floated down, firing more and more laser beams at him at an alarming rate. Steven struggled to avoid them all, barely grazing them with his clothes. He swallowed hard at the close proximity that the destroyed fabric had to his own skin.

Thinking fast, he picked up a random walrus plush that was lying on the ground; normally, it would have been tucked away safely in his room, but he hadn't been focusing on cleaning ever since Zircon poofed. Now, he clung to it like a lifeline, holding it in front of him as a shield. Sadly, this was not an effective move, as the laser sliced its head off almost instantly. He dropped it with a shriek, scanning the ground for anything else to defend himself with.

Snacks, pillow, fuzzy flower... he thought, eyes darting from one object to the other frantically. Finally, they rested on an all-too-familiar toy, one that he knew for a fact Zircon would groan at him for owning. It's better than nothing.

"Boomerang, GO!" he shouted, hurling the aforementioned toy at the screen...only for it to fly around Zuri and come right back to him, landing squarely in his hand. "...Oh, come on!"

He barely had time to sulk before Zuri shot another laser at him, which he jumped over with a yelp. He ducked behind the kitchen counter and grabbed a mop that was lying on the ground, holding it up to defend himself when Zuri cornered him against the wall. Unfortunately, it was almost immediately sliced in half by another laser beam that Steven had attempted to deflect by holding the mop in front of himself.

Steven's breath came in short bursts as he moved from side to side, the small space in the kitchen giving him very little leeway to dodge Zuri's attacks. He gasped when a laser grazed his fluffy black hair, tears forming in his eyes.

"Zircon!" he cried, hoping against hope that the gemstone in his room would hear him. "I'm sorry, I should have waited for you to come back! I should have-" He froze, realizing that the lasers had stopped. He looked up hopefully, but his stomach quickly sank when he saw Zuri's eyes glowing an even brighter red than before.

"Charging Mega Blast..." she said mechanically, the screen flashing a bright blue.

Steven winced, recoiling in fear, but then a thought occurred to him: she's open. Taking a deep breath, he clutched the mop tightly in his hand, throwing it at the screen with a loud, almost primal yell.

The sound of an engine petering out reached his ears. His eyes, which he hadn't even realized were closed in the first place, opened reluctantly. Zuri's eyes were no longer red; instead, they were turned down at the mop that was floating straight through the middle of the screen. She twitched, the glitchy effect returning to her appearance as she flickered in and out.

"ERROR." she screeched loudly, her voice piercing Steven's ears. "CRASH IMMINENT. W-W-WOULD YOU LIKE TO-"

"NO!" Steven interrupted, grabbing the mop firmly by its handle. With a war cry, he swung it around furiously, watching the screen disintegrate into smaller and smaller projections of faint, dying blue.

"Steven, are you okay?" said a sudden familiar voice from the door, and he turned around to see Imperial Garnet peering inside. "We heard fighting." She stepped inside the house and pulled on a string she had in her hand, yanking the still-floating Bismuth into the room.

"Jeez, Imp, go easy on me over here," the muscular Gem complained, tilting her head when she looked at Steven. "Uh...what are you doing, little guy?"

"Hm?" Steven followed her gaze to the mop in his hand and smiled. "Oh, just moppin'!" When he heard the sound of the screen starting to regenerate, he whirled around and slashed wildly at the tiny blue sparks with a loud chant of, "Die, die, die!" The other two Gems watched him in confusion until he finally stopped, heaving a sigh of relief. Turning to them, he said, "Y'know, I miss Zircon a whole lot, but sometimes you just gotta accept that-" He was cut off by a bright blue flash from his bedroom, and he gasped when he saw what was going on.

Zircon's gem was hovering in the air, the glowing outline of a figure enveloping it. Its form started to change, flickering between different shapes, until the solid form of Zircon herself landed squarely on the floor with a satisfied sigh.

"Never mind! Zircon's back!" Steven cried, running up to her excitedly.

"Ahh, this is much better," the blue Gem said with a nod, surveying the form she had chosen. Overall, she still looked like herself, but her suit was slightly different; the bottom of her jacket now resembled a star more than the square that it had looked like previously, though the darker blue belt underneath it was still present, the star-shaped buckle fitting neatly under the jacket like a puzzle piece.

She barely had time to look at it further before she was wrapped in a crushing hug by Steven and Imperial, who had released Bismuth's string to let her float up to the ceiling. "Hey! Warn me before you let me go like that!" she protested, but her cries fell on deaf ears as she watched her teammates hug.

"Aww, man," Steven said when he broke away, "I had this whole thing planned for when you came back!"

Zircon looked around at the messy living room with disdain. "I thought my room was a disaster," she muttered, wrinkling her nose when she looked up at Bismuth, "and I don't even want to know what happened to you."

Bismuth shrugged as best she could despite her bulkier form. "I got hit by an airplane. It was pretty fun, actually."

Steven, whose shirt was now tied around his head like a bandanna, began banging on a pot with a wooden spoon. He marched around his newly-reformed caretaker cheerily, singing along to the discordant rhythm the makeshift drum created. "Zircon's back! ZIrcon's back! Zircon's back!"

"Steven, what are you doing?" the blue Gem asked, only to be wrapped in another hug by Imperial, who was rocking back and forth to the music. Zircon sighed. "I can't leave you guys alone for a second, can I?"

"ZIRCON'S BACK!"

* * *

 **Aaaand that's it for this chapter! It took longer than I expected, but I'm glad I got it done. Zuri was a fun character to write, as I've always loved robots and absolutely ADORED Holo-Pearl in the original. So, since Zircon prefers archery over sword-fighting, does that mean that combat for Connie will go differently? You'll just have to wait and find out...**

 **Next episode is Lion 2: The Movie! Stay tuned!**


End file.
